17 Years And Counting: A Lemmys Land Treasury
by That kid with an idea
Summary: This is a collection of stories about Mario characters, taken from . Legal notices: I assume no ownership of these stories, as they are intellectual property of the original authors, Lemmy Koopa and Nintendo. Also, you can PM me either here of on if you want your story removed. I would like it if the mods on don't try to ban me.
1. The Freeze Gun

Story #1: The Freeze Gun

One morning, Lemmy woke up and stared out the window. Nobody had been out of their lands to steal anything because of the Mario brothers. But, then, he thought up a brilliant plan. "Aha," said Lemmy, "I will make a freeze gun, and when the Mario brothers come, I'll freeze them. So, he went down to breakfast and ate a hot bowl of Koopa stew, which is mushrooms in water. Then, he craftily stole some tools from Ludwig, went to his private room, and started working on his freeze gun. When Iggy came into Lemmy's room and asked, "What are you doing?", Lemmy covered up his work and said, "Oh, nothing." Finally, around 12 'o' Clock, Lemmy finished his masterpiece. "Ha," he said, "now I can freeze anybody I want! Now, who should I test it out on?" Just then, Ludwig came into Lemmy's room. "Aha," he said," So you are the one who took my tools." But before he could make another move, Lemmy froze him. "It works," cried Lemmy, "It really works!

So Lemmy took a bunch of his evil allies and started on a rampage in Ice Land. First, he froze the real ruler of Ice Land, Chin Chilley, into a block of ten feet thick ice. Then, he went to all the stores in Ice Land and stole their entire inventory. Next, he robbed all the banks of their money. During this whole rampage, anybody who got in Lemmy's way was immediately frozen. Last, but not least, Lemmy unfroze Ludwig and forced him to build the best doomship he could possibly make, which he did. "Ha," Lemmy said, " no one can stop me now.'

Meanwhile, in Mushroom Land, Mario and Luigi were watching a show on television about a guy who had a freeze gun. In the show the Marios found out what to do against freeze guns. The show was science fiction, since freeze guns had not existed. They didn't know there was a Koopa on the loose with a real freeze gun. Just then, Princess Toadstool and Toad rushed in and said that there was some one creating a disturbance in Ice Land by stealing everything and freezing everybody, including King Chin Chilley. They also said that witnesses also said the villain looked like a young child who was riding on a ball. "Aha," said Mario," it must be Lemmy {Hip} Koopa, trying to retake over Ice Land." "But he also has a freeze gun," said Princess Toadstool. "Freeze gun or no freeze gun,'' said Luigi, "we will beat him anyway, right Mario?" "Right Luigi," said Mario, and off they went.

When they got to Ice Land, they saw that everything was one great big mess. There were no goods in stores, no money in banks, and a mess of people all over the road. ''This most be Lemmy's doing,'' said Mario. "Look, there are his ball tracks, in the snow, so all we have to do is follow them and we will get to his doomship. And follow them they did until they reached Lemmy's doomship. "Aha, we got you now, Lemmy," said Mario. " Not so fast," said Lemmy, " First you have to get through my minions." But, after a lot of fighting, and a lot of jumping, they defeated Lemmy's goombas and Koopa troopas. "Now, it's your turn, Lemmy," said Mario. "Maybe so," said Lemmy "But I won't be so easy to beat.'' And, with that, he turned on his freeze gun full blast at Mario and Luigi. "This is for all the times you have defeated me," he said.

Fortunately, Mario and Luigi had remembered what they had seen on television and with long, timely jumps, avoided the rays of the freeze gun. Finally, after a lot of jumps Mario landed on Lemmy, making him fall off his ball. Immediately after, Mario took and returned the stolen goods and money. Then he forced Lemmy to unfreeze all the mushroom citizens, starting with King Chin Chilley, which Lemmy did. Then, Mario destroyed Lemmy's doomship and threw Lemmy, ball and all, through a warp pipe to Dark Land. It wasn't until too late that Mario realized that Lemmy still had his freeze gun.

As Lemmy went through the warp pipe he said to himself, "I'll get you for this, Mario brothers. But, at least I still have my freeze gun. I'll get them next time." After a long warp, Lemmy fell in his bed, just in time for bed, which Lemmy eagerly did. But, all night, while he dreamed, he thought, 'I hate you Mario Brothers!'


	2. A cheesy situation

Story #2: A Cheesy Situation

Ludwig was franticly trying to make a new invention to destroy Mario, because Bowser threatened him to do so or he would have Ludwig watch Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Bowser knew it was going to blow up or create nuclear pigs or something, but he was desperate.

Bowser: Are you almost done?!

Ludwig: Um… 99.9 percent.

Ludwig typed some things on the keyboard. He then took out a microphone and held it to his mouth.

Ludwig: Computer, Bowser's every third word will be replaced with the word "coffee".

Bowser: What are coffee doing? Hey, coffee did I coffee coffee?

Ludwig held the microphone to his mouth again.

Ludwig: Effect off.

Ludwig put the microphone down.

Bowser: What the heck did you do?

Ludwig: I used my machine to alter your speaking.

Bowser: Now how will that destroy Mario?

Ludwig: It won't. I'm going to make Mario say something insulting so when he talks to people, he will only say

the certain word I tell him to. Then when he gets enough people mad, they will probably kick him out of the Mushroom Kingdom, and we will be able to take over easily.

Bowser: ...

Ludwig: Well? What do you propose?

Bowser: That is the stupidest plan ever! But since I'm desperate, go ahead and try it.

Ludwig: Yes sir…

Ludwig was about 10 yards away from Mario's house, when…

…

Toad: ATTACK!

Toad, Luigi, DK, Wario, Waluigi, Peach, Mario, Daisy, Froad (Toad's cousin), Subcon, Yoshi, Bow, Kooper,

Goombario, Watt, Sushi, Lakilester, The King, Smash, *inhale* Golden Road, Mewd, Yoshiki, Richard, Axem

Leader, Lil Cheep Cheep, Dinogirl, TMS, Foshi, Vicious grrl, and Bill Clinton jumped out of a bush and attacked Ludwig.

Ludwig: !

Ludwig got pummelled for about 15 minutes…

Peach: Eh. I'm tired, I'm going to the castle.

Toad, Luigi, DK, Wario, Waluigi, Mario, Daisy, Froad, Subcon, Yoshi, Bow, Kooper, Goombario, Watt, Sushi,

Lakilester, The King, Smash, Golden Road, Mewd, Yoshiki, Richard, Axem Leader, Lil Cheep Cheep,

Dinogirl, TMS, Foshi, Vicious grrl, and Bill Clinton: Can we come?

Peach: Um, no.

Peach: Um, no.

Everyone left except for Mario and Ludwig.

Ludwig: Ouch. I think my shoulder is dislocated…

Mario: It's-a me, Mario!

Ludwig: Go away.

Mario: It's-a me, Mario!

Ludwig got up and picked up the microphone connected to the laptop.

Ludwig: Computer, Mario's every third word will be replaced with the word-

Mario: Cheese!

Ludwig: No!

Ludwig started typing some words on the keyboard but the machine exploded. Ludwig was sent flying into the horizon.

Ludwig: I'll get you next time Mari- *thump* Oh!

Mario: Hmm… I'm cheese. I'm gonna cheese over to cheese castle.

Mario started walking in a random direction and ended up at Peach's castle.

Toad: I'm %$^# hungry, make me some %$^# food.

Peach: Shut your pie hole. I already have my hands full with Yoshi here!

Yoshi: Yoshi hungry, me eat peach.

Peach: Nooooo! Dooooon't!

Yoshi gulped down a peach from the fruit bowl.

Peach: Phew!

Luigi: Make me some pasta, will ya?

Daisy: I want some ice cream!

Peach: Yarg. What do I look like? The maid?

Mario kicked down the door for no reason.

Mario: It's-a me, cheese!

Toad: What?

Mario: Hello there, cheese!

Luigi: What did you call me?

Mario: Hi Princess cheese!

Daisy: Ha ha! He called you Princess cheese!

Peach: Actually, he was talking to you.

Yoshi: You know that you is talking with word cheese all time, Mario?

Mario: What the cheese?! How the cheese did this cheese to me?

Toad: CHEESE?! NO ONE'S GONNA SAY CHEESE TO REPLACE SWEARING WHILE I'M AROUND!

Toad powers up to a SSJ2, then powers up to SSJ3.

Mario: Uh oh… CHEESE!

Mario jumped out the window.

Mario: Hmm… I'm cheese go to cheese just to cheese everyone.

Mario walked over to a tree and lay down. He drifted off to sleep.

In Mario's dream…

Mario: Ah, I'm cheese Subcon… Finally!

Mario walks around killing helpless Shy Guys and Birdos.

Birdo: This is as far as you go!

Mario sits on her and she is defeated.

Birdo: I'll remember this!

Mario throws a few Ninjis into some lava and runs into Mouser.

Mouser: Here! Have some bombs!

Mario eats Mouser's bombs. Mario's stomach starts gurgling and he passes "The Big One" and Mouser

faints.

Mouser: No! WAHHH!

Mario walks for a while and falls into some quicksand. He ends up with Fry Guy.

Fry Guy: I'm too hot to touch!

Mario eats Fry Guy and goes on. He finds himself fighting Birdo again.

Birdo: I'm gonna finish you off!

Birdo fires a bunch of eggs and Mario stores them in his mouth like a hamster. He fires them back at Birdo

and defeats her again.

Birdo: How could you?!

Mario steps over Birdo's lifeless corpse and rolls his way to Ro-Birdo.

Ro-Birdo: You came a long way!

Mario takes out a stick and pokes Ro-Birdo to death.

Ro-Birdo: How could you?!

Mario falls in a hole and lands on Triclyde, killing him.

Triclyde: Impossible!

Mario jumps down and is defeated by a Tweeter. Mario faints and wakes up by Clawgrip.

Clawgrip: Arr. You'll make a tasty tr-

Mario throws his shoe and defeats him. Mario finds Mouser again but just slaps him and leaves. Mario makes it to Birdo once again.

Mario: Why you cheese following me cheese?

Birdo: I'm ready for you this time…

Mario sighs and pushes Birdo into a pit.

Birdo: AAAAGGGGHHH!

Mario walks into Wart's castle and makes a hole in the wall. He finds Wart.

Wart: I am the great Wart, ah ha ha!

Wart opens his mouth to shoot weird spitballs at Mario, and Mario throws himself inside his mouth. Mario starts playing with Wart's insides and Wart explodes. Mario breaks down a pillar with his head, revealing a pot with a cork. Mario is about to open the pot but thinks how bored he is so decides to wake up.

Back in reality…

Mario: Yawn! That cheese. Time to cheese to Bowser's cheese.

Mario: Open up cheese!

Goomba: What's the password?

Mario: Um… It's cheese?

Goomba: Come right in.

Mario walked into Bowser's Castle and went into the kitchen.

Mario: Wow, I'm cheese! Better get cheese cheese!

Clawdia: Um… get out.

Mario: But I'm cheese!

Clawdia: No you're not, you're Mario.

Mario: But I cheese some cheese!

Clawdia threw a spoon at Mario and Mario ran away like a scared puppy.

Mario: Pant, pant, cheese, pant, pant, cheese, pant…

Mario walked into Larry's room.

Larry: Yikes! Mario!

Mario: Gimme the cheese!

Larry: I have no cheese!

Mario: No, give cheese the key!

Larry: Who is cheese?

Mario: Yarg! The cheese, the key!

Larry: I only have the key to Morton's room, here!

Larry tossed the key at Mario and jumped under his bed.

Larry: Go away!

Mario: Thank you cheese much! Wait… What cheese I doing cheese?

Mario walked into the hall and into Morton's room.

Morton: Mario! You're just in time to listen to my speech about speeches!

Mario: I have cheese time, give me cheese key!

Morton: What's a cheese key?

Mario: The key cheese Ludwig's room!

Morton: Oh… I only have the key to Wendy's room. Here, take, accept, receive!

Mario: Thanks for cheese key!

Mario walked into the hall, then into Wendy's room.

Mario: I want cheese now!

Wendy: Get out before I kill you for interrupting my beauty sleep!

Mario: You are cheese as a cheese!

Wendy: Ahh! Ok, there!

Wendy pointed to a jar on the shelf. Mario grabbed it and headed into the hall. Mario threw the jar at Iggy's door and it opened.

Mario: Roy's key, cheese!

Iggy: Oh yeah? I'm gonna kick your butt!

Iggy ran into Mario but knocked himself out. Mario grabbed the key from his hair and ran out into the hall, then into Roy's room.

Roy: Oh you're gonna get a pounding for this one…

Mario: Over my cheese body!

Roy: Agh! I didn't know it was like that, here!

Roy handed Mario the key to Lemmy's room and jumped out the window. Mario opened the door to Lemmy's room and found him working on the computer.

Lemmy: Huh?

Mario: Key!

Lemmy: I will give it to you if you can beat me at a race with this special ball, whoever can-

Mario grabbed Lemmy's computer and chucked it out the window. He took the key and ran into Ludwig's room. He forgot to use the key but he crashed through the door.

Ludwig threw a wrench at Mario and Mario got conked on the head and fell down.

Ludwig: Now you shall die!

Froad crashed in through the window.

Froad: Froad 'll save the day!

Froad started poking Ludwig with his own finger and Ludwig laughed so much that he imploded from losing so much air.

Froad: Froad saves the day again!

Froad turned into a cow and exploded.

Mario: Hmm… Better cheese this now!

Mario built an exact replica of Ludwig's machine and used it to make his voice turn back to normal. It then

exploded.

Mario: Well that was fun. Better go home now.

Mario walked home, not caring that his leg was on fire.


	3. Once Upon A Time

Story #3: Once Upon A Time

Bowser sighed and shuffled on the parapets of his castle. He was getting old. It seemed so long since he had first ascended the throne. He remembered so well...

Bowser bellowed at his staff, "Where is my breakfast?!"

A sniveling Koopa Troopa ran up to him. "I- I'm sorry sir, but since your father has been poisoned, all the food has been thrown out."

Bowser snapped in anger. Stepping forward he grabbed the underling by the scruff and pulled him up to his height. "Do you think I care? Go into a village and get something before I skin you! Now go underling!"

He then put him down as he ran out of the room, tripping before making it to the door. Bowser scuffed a breath of fire in frustration, "Fools, we're all fools." He shook his head slightly and continued walking down the hall as he recalled past days. "Throwing out all the food... what idiots! Doesn't anyone around here know how to test for poisons?" Bowser shook his head. Then he slowly grinned and thought to himself how fortunate he was that no one in the castle did know how to test food for poisoning. "The old fool never saw it coming..." he chuckled to himself.

He grinned as he recalled his father's last words to him. "If something should happen to me," the old man had coughed, "then my portion of the Empire is yours. You are my son, and it is the order of things that you should succeed me." Well, thought Bowser with demonic glee, what could possibly happen to him? And now, it was time to put the Old Fossil's long-forgotten realms of the Koopa Empire to work in the war against the Mario Brothers.

And no matter about the food. He had a secret stash of fungi-cakes and spore-syrup somewhere. He chuckled cruelly as he remembered those Mushrooms he had tortured and killed to get them. After breakfast, he went down to survey his prisoners. The one he was looking forward to was that Koopa girl he had caught sneaking around the castle. What was her name, Clawdia? She was so beautiful... even thinking about her made his scales quiver with desire. She rejected him as an imposter, but she would come around in time.

Bowser walked down into his dungeon. He looked over his prisoners, who were all chained to the wall. He then looked over at Clawdia, who was glaring at him. He sort of felt bad chaining her to the wall, but he also felt wrong feeling sorry for her. After all, he was the biggest, baddest brute there was and he didn't want to ruin his reputation.

Bowser walked toward Clawdia. As he stepped forward, she lunged forward to mangle him. However, she reached the ends of her shackles just short of reaching him.

"I see you're glad to see me," Bowser said slowly, "That's the first time you've run forth to meet me."

"Why don't you come a little closer," Clawdia growled, "and I'll show you just how glad I am?"

"Not this time, darling," Bowser replied curtly.

"Well what do you want then?" she snapped.

Bowser grinned towards her. "Just to see how my favorite prisoner is doing."

"Just fine until you walked in, thank you!"

"Such an unladylike tone! But I'm very patient," Bowser said with a very fake smile, "I know you'll come around to my way of thinking eventually."

"We'll just see about that." Clawdia hissed as she lunged again feet-first and once again fell just short of Bowser.

"Clawdia, dear," Bowser sighed, "that was quite... unimpressive."

"If you'll just let me free of these chains, I'll show you how impressive I can be!" Clawdia snarled.

Bowser shook his head in mock-sadness, ignoring her threat. "My dear, the time has come for us to part. But first..." he deliberately stepped into range of the chains. As Clawdia leapt at him again, he caught her hair and arms, then forced his mouth upon hers. Before she could even begin to resist, he slammed the cell door and was walking away, leaving Clawdia to scream curses and threats after him.

Bowser strode into the war room of his castle. His "staff" was waiting there, trembling. Bowser slammed a claw upon the table, making it jump.

"Okay," Bowser started. "We have the mightiest military on the planet. The Mushroom Kingdom has the weakest. We have the sworn loyalty of almost all the monsters on Plit. The Mushroom Kingdom has... fungus. And yet all our attempts to conquer them have been foiled. I WANT SOME ANSWERS HERE!"

The Guildmaster of Bowser's elite sorcerers the Magikoopas stood up. "Milord," he sniveled, "the mushrooms seem to have found two champions to defend them. These-"

"I KNOW ABOUT THE OVERWEIGHT HUMANS!" Bowser interrupted. "How is it that we cannot best the two of them, despite our vast power? What kind of fools do you idiots have working for you?"

There was silence in the war room.

"I'm waiting," Bowser growled.

"Well sir," the Guildmaster nervously began, "the morale is rather low, what with the death of the king and all, and-"

"The death of the king, you say? That's interesting. Last time I checked, I seemed to be alive and quite well."

"But your father-"

"I AM THE KING OF THE KOOPAS, NOW AND FOREVER!" Bowser lowered his head and narrowed his eyes. "And let no Koopa question that, Guildmaster Kamek."

"Of course not, my king," Kamek bowed, "you are the king."

"Now then," Bowser changed the subject, "perhaps your troops lack motivation. If that is so, then perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them."

The commanders looked at each other nervously.

"Now, as none of you fools know, one of the most important factors is the morale of the troops. If we find a way to decrease the morale of the fungus, we shall triumph."

"But what about our own morale? If you're pushing them on without a thought to their personal-" Kamek began.

"You idiot!" Bowser yelled. "To the Abyss with their morale! They should be perfectly happy knowing that they are serving their king. And it they're not, then... then execute them!"

There was a general gasp of horror as this prospect ran around the room. Bowser grinned wolfishly.

"Yes... execute them. If there is one Koopa that even mutters a word of dissent, I want his body spiked on the highest turret as a warning to others. Any objections?" Bowser glanced around the room, his razor sharp teeth bared.

At that moment the commander of Bowser's Terrapin warriors stood up. "I object, Lord Bowser," he announced, "I served your father for 25 years, and I know he would never allow such ruthless politics to be uttered in the Koopa Empire."

Bowser turned toward the Terrapin and shot him a stare that would have chilled a Thwomp to its core. "Well, I'm... sorry to hear that, General." He took a step toward the armored turtle, "Truly... sorry." The Terrapin began to shudder and placed a scaled hand on the side of his face as if it had begun to ache. "Because if there is one thing I cannot stand," Bowser hissed, his fists clenched in rage, "it is a divided board of command." The Terrapin stepped back, clutched the sides of his head, fell to the floor, and screamed in pain. "Which leaves me with only one option," Bowser roared, "and that is THIS!"

Bowser's eyes widened and reddened as the Terrapin let out a blood-curdling scream. But over his scream, another sound was clearly audible: the sound of bone cracking. Even the battle-hardened commanders turned their eyes away as the Terrapin's skull began to slowly collapse, crushed by an invisible hand closing mercilessly around it. Finally, the Terrapin general let out a last pitiful scream, and then he screamed no more. The commanders one-by-one turned back toward their former comrade to see a decapitated corpse with a lot of blood amassed around a stub of bone on its shoulders.

"Are there any other objections I should note?" Bowser asked as if the incident had never occurred.

There were none. Most of the Koopas in the meeting were too scared to even move.

"Very well then. Take this fool's corpse and spike it on the highest parapet to serve as a warning to other traitors."

Bowser walked out of the room as his advisors glanced at each other in horror.

Bowser was sitting alone in his room, mulling over potential attacks he could use on the Mushroom Kingdom. There was always the direct assault, but that would damage the castles more than he would have liked. If only there was some way to demoralize the armies!

"Perhaps," he thought, "if I assassinated Toadstool... no, that would make her a martyr. Hmm, what if..." Bowser's eyes lit up as an epiphany came over him, "What if she announced that she was with me?"

Bowser began to pace. "Now how can I accomplish that?" he wondered out loud. "She's too 'noble' to accept a deal, and she..." He stopped and grinned a foul grin. "That's it!" he announced exuberantly. "A kidnapping! It's perfect! No one would ever suspect that the Koopa King would dare kidnap the Mushroom Princess! Now to just work out the details... And even better! I get Kamek to create a potion to change fungus into stone, and then use the new rocks to make my new castles! The potion won't affect humans, but those two will never be able to stand against the full power of my army!"

Bowser, laughing evilly, ran off to implement his new plan.

"What?" Kamek gasped. "You're insane! There is no way to create a potion that- Ahh!"

Kamek slumped to the floor, victim of a pound on the head.

"I sincerely hope, Guildmaster, that you're not having second thoughts about your position on the command board," Bowser threatened. "I'd hate to think that two of my commanders are turning on me in one day."

The image of the Terrapin general's headless mangled corpse sitting atop the turrets upon a spear flashed before Kamek's eyes. "N... no," he replied, "certainly not. It's simply-"

"Simply what?" Bowser demanded, imposing his horrific presence upon the Guildmaster.

"It's simply that this kind of potion is... an unusual... and d... difficult r… request, Milord."

Bowser sighed deeply and shook his head in mock disappointment. "So what you're saying," he intoned, "is that you are incapable of fulfilling this task."

"N... no! Of course not!" Kamek blurted out quickly, "It will just... take some... some time. That's all."

Bowser grinned maliciously. "I knew I could count on you, you flea-bitten old fossil," he said, slapping the side of Kamek's face twice. "Carry on. I'll be surveying the prisoners again." And with that Bowser turned on his heel and strode out of Kamek's lab. Kamek couldn't help but notice the unusual way Bowser said the word 'surveying'.

Bowser walked down the hall chuckling to himself. He couldn't understand why his father ever had such a hard time running the kingdom. It was all just a matter of proper motivation. And speaking of which, it was about time he taught Clawdia where her place in the Koopa Kingdom was. He laughed out loud and continued walking.

As Bowser walked down the halls of the dungeon, thinking of all the ways he could "convince" Clawdia to accept him, he heard a voice from behind him.

"Lord Bowser," the voice called.

Bowser clenched his fists and turned around to see a silver-shelled Paratroopa running toward him.

"Sir," clipped the Koopa, stopping and saluting, "Cadet Flutter reporting."

Bowser lazily returned the salute. "Get on with it," he snarled.

"Sir," Flutter sounded-off, "I have strict orders to escort you out of the dungeon, sir."

"What?"

"Sir, it's for your own safety, sir. There is a prisoner in here who is considered dangerous, sir."

"Who?

"Sir, a young Koopa girl called Clawdia, sir."

Bowser roared with laughter. "So your superiors consider my prize dangerous?" he asked incredulously. "That makes her all the more desirable!

"D... desirable, sir?" Flutter stammered.

"Indeed." Bowser replied sharply. His face slowly twisted itself into a grin. "Oh, come now, even someone as young as a cadet must know what an uncontrollable urge lust can be."

"I... I..."

"You'll understand me when you're older, cadet." Bowser cut Flutter short, resuming an all-business attitude. "Now inform your superiors that THEY now have strict orders not to send any confounded fool cadets to hound me again!"

And with that, Bowser turned on his heel and strode toward the cell where his "prize" awaited him.

Bowser stepped up to Clawdia's cell and opened it again. Again, she launched herself at him, and again, he caught her. A quick kick to the stomach and she doubled over, winded.

"I could have my way with you now, if I wished, but I prefer my women to be willing. You will learn in time."

Then he shattered her chains and dragged her to the top of the castle.

"I had the bad fortune for an entire contingent of soldiers to revolt today. You'll see them if you look down. Now watch." He forced her head down and her eyes open just as the cannons around them opened fire.

Clawdia shuddered and managed to wrench her head away from Bowser's claw.

"How can you watch that? Don't you feel ANYTHING when you see that?" she asked him.

"Yes," he replied impassively, gazing down at the corpses being removed from the courtyard. "I see a great waste of ammunition. I think I'll start having them chucked in the lava pits."

"You're a monster!"

"See? I knew you'd come to love me for who I am."

"Love you?!"

"Yes. Every king needs his queen, and I've decided that you will be mine!"

"You're insane!"

"That's what they say about all geniuses, but the world will eventually come to realize my brilliance. History is written by the victors, and I will be victorious over all! Soon the banner of the Koopa Kingdom will wave over every country on Plit! And no one will be able to stop me! NO ONE!"

He looked at Clawdia with the closest thing to affection his blackened heart could feel. "And I'm more than willing," he whispered in her ear, "to share it with you."

Clawdia wrenched away only for Bowser to pin her against a wall and grab her face in his hands. As he brought his reptilian lips closer to hers, he murmured, "I can give you anything. Power, money," he kissed her forcefully and added, "even the crown."

Clawdia closed her eyes and allowed Bowser to continue kissing her until he was satisfied and pulled his lips away.

"Y'know what I'm starting to realize about you?" she mused, running her fingers through his hair.

"What, my darling?"

Clawdia traced the lines of Bowser's face until she came to his throat. Before Bowser could react, she grabbed him by the esophagus and began to dig her claws into his flesh. "That you're even crazier than your father was!"

Bowser grabbed her arms and flung them off his throat with the greatest of ease.

"Did you really think that would accomplish anything? I have powers that you don't know about, my dear. Now what can we do about this temper of yours? It's not befitting a queen to lose her head so easily! Maybe Kamek knows of a spell that will make you easier to deal with... or would it be more fun to do this the hard way? Decisions, decisions..."

Bowser's eyes then lit up with an evil idea. "Come with me again." He grabbed the front of Clawdia's shell and teleported to a nearby Mushroom village just conquered.

Kamek had not yet completed the stoning potion so all the Mushrooms were still alive, being forced into menial labor by the cruel whips of their oppressors.

Clawdia seemed horrified that living creatures were treated in such a manner. Bowser chuckled. Then she would be even more so when he invoked his plan.

He gave the signal, raising a hand, and slaughter ensued. He had trained his troops on guard duty to kill on a moment's notice.

"What are you doing?" Clawdia cried.

"I'm killing enemies of the kingdom," Bowser replied. "They're useless anyway, so why spend my money to feed them?"

Clawdia only gaped in open-mouthed horror.

"Just submit to my will, and they will be spared, my dear. Just say the word and I shall release them."

Clawdia looked back and forth from the slaughter to Bowser. She couldn't stand this...

"Stop!" she screamed.

Bowser raised a claw. "You have something to say, my dear? You will submit to me?"

"I... I... I will." Clawdia slumped forward in shame as she surrendered.

"I knew you'd see things my way," Bowser grinned. With a snap of his fingers, they appeared back in his castle. "Now then, we need to see about the preparations."

"Preparations?" Clawdia asked.

"Why for the wedding of course! I despise long engagements. Now where's Kamek?"

In an instant, the Magikoopa appeared before Bowser.

"Is there something you wanted, sire?" he asked.

"Yes Kamek," Bowser responded. "I would like you to meet the future queen of the Koopas, Clawdia."

"Q- queen?! Bowser, what in the-"

"I believe you mean, KING Bowser, don't you Guildmaster?"

"Y- yes, of course Your Highness, but-"

"You will be conducting the ceremony. I expect preparations to begin at once."

Kamek stood flabbergasted. A wedding?! King Morton hadn't even had his funeral yet!

"Is there a problem, Kamek?" Bowser asked with a dangerous tone in his voice.

"N- no, Your Excellency. None at all."

"Good. I would hate having to replace such an old dear friend..."

"R- right sir."

"Then you'll get right on it?"

"Immediately sir."

"Excellent. Dismissed."

Kamek vanished as quickly as he had come.

"Just think, my dear," Bowser said, turning to Clawdia. "Once I have the Mushroom Kingdom in my grasp, I'll practically be king of the world! And then..." he added, approaching her slowly, "you shall be queen!"

Clawdia backed away. "I have conditions," she declared.

Bowser froze. "What kind of conditions?" he inquired suspiciously.

"First of all," Clawdia pushed, "I want an immediate release of all prisoners in that death camp you just forced me to see."

"What?" Bowser demanded incredulously. "I can't release that big a part of my labor force!"

"I see," Clawdia said dryly, "So your slaves are of more importance than your queen."

Bowser staggered backward, speechless. He hadn't seen THAT one coming! "I... I..." he stammered.

"Hmm…" Clawdia pursued.

Bowser stuttered for almost a full minute before forcing a smile and replying, "As you wish, my dear."

"Good," Clawdia smiled at how easily manipulated this fool was, "I'll be in my cell." Before Bowser could tell her otherwise, Clawdia strode down the hall toward the dungeon, much to the surprise of the Troopa guards.

Bowser glowered after she was out of the room. "Kamek," he barked.

"I'm here, sire," Kamek greeted exasperatedly, appearing in a puff of smoke.

"Begin the extermination of the fungi in the camp on the Eastern acquired territory." He grinned demonically. "If Clawdia wants them released from servitude, then they can be released from their terrestrial struggles as well. For, as my father said before he got those weakling notions, death is a release, not a punishment."

Kamek shuddered and retreated in the general direction of the dungeon as soon as safety allowed. He had some serious thinking to do, and he needed someone to talk to as well.

Bowser sat back in his throne. He was a genius, he thought. In just a matter of days, he had taken the throne, organized an attack that would bring the entire planet under his heel, and gotten himself a wife. He licked his lips as he thought of what he would do when he at last got her alone.

"Commander!"

A scared Terrapin peeked his head into the room. "Yes sir?"

"Prepare the troops for a mission deep into the Mushroom Kingdom. We are going to kidnap the princess."

The Terrapin was confused by these orders, but he was too afraid to question them. "Yes, sir!"

Kamek, making sure no one else was around, poked his head into the dungeon and looked into Clawdia's cell. She was lying on the ground in an attempt to sleep.

"Uh, excuse me?" he asked of her intelligently.

She looked up. "Who are you?"

Kamek surveyed her for a moment. Bowser was right, she WAS beautiful. But Kamek drove this thought from his mind quickly.

"I am Kamek, Magikoopa Guildmaster and advisor to the king," he answered, "At least I WAS, until... anyway, I'm here to discuss something," he looked around once again, "of some importance," he whispered.

Clawdia sat up. "What do you want?" she asked petulantly. "I assume one of Bowser's advisors didn't just drop in to say 'hi'."

Kamek nodded. "You are right," he stated, "I am not. I need to ask..." He paused, listening, then whispered, "I'll be back," and disappeared around the corner as a guard marched by. After it was out of sight, he reappeared.

"I can guess you don't want to be seen," Clawdia mentioned.

Kamek, ignoring her, repeated. "This is of much importance. I know this may sound crazy-"

Clawdia interrupted. "With the kind of day I've had, anything else will probably sound normal."

Kamek coughed and nervously looked around. "Well, I suppose you could say that. Anyway, I need you to help me foil Bowser's schemes."

She glanced disbelievingly at him. "Why would one of Bowser's top advisors and Guildmaster want to stop him?"

"Bowser may be the king, but only by birthright. He's a madman!"

"And I'm marrying him!" Clawdia sighed in despair.

"I'm afraid so, but maybe this is the best position for you."

Clawdia stared at him for a moment.

"Have you gone crazy?"

"Not yet, but if Bowser has his way... anyway, think about it. You're in a position to learn of his schemes, help stop them, and influence his decisions! It's perfect!"

"But if he finds out..."

"He won't. Besides, he does feel something for you. I don't know if I'd call it love necessarily, but he's not just going to execute you."

"Well that's comforting," she muttered sarcastically.

Kamek had to hide from another guard coming around the corner. "I think it would be easier to plan from my laboratory. Bowser is going to be gone for a few more hours, so I'll try to break you out. Do you object?"

Clawdia shook her head. Kamek took out his wand and gently rubbed it against the lock until it broke. The door opened.

"I'm going to have to make it look like I'm transporting a dangerous prisoner, so I'm going to have to make the appearance of shackles." At Clawdia's nod, he waved his wand and the illusion appeared.

They hurried to the deeper dungeons, where Kamek's secret laboratory was located. But just as they were about to make it through, a guard turned the corner and saw them.

"Halt! What are you doing with that prisoner?"

Kamek smoothly delivered a lie. "Lord Bowser orders me to create a new potion and I need this one to help me."

"Uh... okay. You may proceed."

Kamek rushed down the remainder of the hall and they both made it to his laboratory.

"So, the way I see it- pass the hen's teeth, would you?- Bowser's going to kidnap the princess and create enough traps to stop even me. It will take some doing, but if we're lucky and fast, we'll be able to disable most of them before the two humans get to them." Kamek sprinkled one final mixture over his cauldron and it turned orange. "There!"

"What is it?" Clawdia asked.

"It's a potion to nullify the one I made earlier. We can't use it directly, but if we hide it on the princess' body, those humans will find it and use it to change the Mushrooms back to normal."

"Great idea, but how are you gonna get it to the princess?"

"Leave that to me. Now, do you have any questions?"

"No. I know what has to be done."

"Good. I'm afraid I'll have to take you back to your cell now."

"Right," she sighed, holding up her wrists for Kamek to shackle again.

It was a simple task to return the Koopa girl to her cell again. And just in time too, for just as Kamek locked the door again, he heard Bowser coming down the stairs. He barely had time to dodge around a corner before Bowser slammed the door open.

Bowser hummed happily as he unlocked the door to Clawdia's cell. She turned towards the door, startled that Kamek would be back so soon, and found her least favorite Koopa standing there.

"Hello my dear," he greeted congenially. "How are you?"

"Oh just fine, considering the surroundings," she quipped.

"Yes, this is a little drab, which is why I came. I don't think a dungeon is befitting a queen, so I've arranged some new quarters for you."

"Oh?"

"Follow me."

Clawdia felt an overwhelming sense of revulsion as she allowed Bowser to take her by the arm and lead her up to the "Royal Suite", which was merely Bowser's chamber. The only change that had been made was that the room now included a double bed. Clawdia shuddered at the thought of a night alone in that bed with the monster that held her now.

"What do you think, darling?" Bowser asked, grinning. "Is it satisfactory?"

Clawdia looked around the room for a moment. "Yes," she lied, "it's wonderful."

"Well," Bowser sighed. "As much as I hate to, I must leave you now. I have some business to attend to. Goodbye, my dear." He kissed her on the cheek and walked out happily.

Clawdia took the opportunity to look around the room more closely. She tried to cheer herself up and tell herself that this wasn't so bad, but the decor made that a little difficult. There were pictures and paintings of Bowser everywhere, and it seemed that everywhere she looked, there was another one to remind her of him.

Bowser tossed Princess Toadstool into the cell that had once held Clawdia. Chuckling evilly, he strode back to his war room.

"All right people!" Bowser bellowed. "We have the princess and all the fungus is now rock! What I want now is traps! Does anyone have any ideas that might possibly work?"

Kamek stepped forward. "Milord," he half-whispered, "I have an idea."

"Yes," Bowser nodded, "well, what is it?"

Kamek took a deep breath and prayed Bowser wouldn't recognize his plan for what it was. He reached into the folds of his cloak and drew a vile of potion. "I say we hide this on the princess, and let the humans find her."

There were gasps from everyone in the room.

"And what exactly is that, Kamek?" Bowser demanded, narrowing his eyes.

"It is a potent toxin," Kamek lied, "that, once inhaled, will kill any human within a week. If the Marios find her, they'll seal their own doom. All we have to do is place this somewhere on Toadstool where she won't notice it."

"Hmm…" Bowser said, rubbing his chin. "I don't know..."

"It's perfect!" Kamek assured him. "It's extremely potent, and may wipe out millions of them."

"Well... if you say so. Now how are we going to get it on the princess without her noticing?"

"Don't worry!" Kamek assured. "I'll handle it."

Kamek, grinning with pleasure to find that his plan had worked, went off to talk with Peach and Clawdia.

"Now then," Bowser continued. "We have recently obtained the loyalty of the Goombas. Now I know they're not the strongest monsters on the planet, but they are the most numerous. And their betrayal of the Mushroom Kingdom will put a sizable dent in their army. Now how many castles have we got ready?"

A Koopa stood up. "Eight, counting this one, your majesty."

"Good... good." Bowser rubbed his claws together. "Now pour lava into those castles. Put in flamethrowers and fireballs. And dress up a troop to look like me and place it in each castle. If they think a weakling Goomba is me, then they may be frightened away."

"Yes sir, and those new traps?"

"You mean the Firebars?" Bowser replied. "Of course! What do you think I developed them for? Get them in every castle you can! And I want lots of lava!"

"As you wish, Your Majesty."

"Oh, Field Marshal Ironshell, I need to speak with you."

"Yes, Milord," answered a tall, aggressive-looking green Troopa.

Bowser pulled him aside and whispered, "I have a vision for our Air Force," he announced almost excitedly, "I see a flagship of our entire force: a flying ship, heavily armed, with a crew of the finest troops, and under my personal command. I see..." he paused to relish every word, "a doomsday ship."

Ironshell quivered with delight over Bowser's vision. "A brilliant idea. We could have access to any place on Plit, and there would be no one to oppose this ship from the air."

"Can it be done?" Bowser asked severely.

Ironshell looked almost indignant. "Milord," he replied, "we are the Koopa Troop. We can do anything." His face sank a bit in disappointment as he added, "It will, however, take time. To design, test, and build something like this can take months, even years."

Ironshell looked expectantly at Bowser, expecting him to chew him out for needing so much time, but to his surprise, Bowser looked back at him with a pleased smile.

"Take all the time you need, Field Marshall," he replied. "I'm in no hurry. We won't need them for the Mushroom Kingdom, and it'll be a while before we're ready to move on anyway. The Mushroom Kingdom may be weak, but it IS large... anyway, get right on it."

Ironshell saluted. "At once, Your Excellency."

Kamek timidly knocked on the door of the cell that contained Princess Toadstool.

A voice came from inside. "Go away! I'm sick of being taunted by every Goomba and twisted freak that passes my cell!"

Kamek was taken aback. "I'm not here to taunt you. I'm here to help you!"

"Yeah, sure. And I'm Tympani, the all-powerful goddess of rubber bands."

"I know this is hard to accept," Kamek answered, "but I'm not..." Kamek noticed a Sledge Brother guard was watching him suspiciously, so he lowered his voice. "But I'm not any happier with Bowser's rule than any of your people are, and I have a plan to help you defeat him."

"And what's in it for you?" Peach asked suspiciously.

"I get Bowser off the throne, and then maybe we get a decent ruler," Kamek replied. "Now if you're not interested in helping your people, that's fine. I have other ways to sabotage his plans..."

"No! Wait!" she called as he started to walk away. "Let's talk about this."

"I thought you'd see it my way," Kamek grinned as he simply walked through the door of her cell without opening it.

The Sledge Brother looked suspiciously in that direction, but soon turned back to his boring duty.

"Okay, here's the plan. You just hide this vial somewhere on your body and when you get rescued, just open it." Kamek handed Peach the potion.

"And what makes you think I'm going to get rescued?"

"Trust me. We, my partner and I, are going to guide then through the lands and disable most of the traps."

Peach looked skeptical. "I don't understand. You're the Guildmaster, right? Your people and mine have been at war for so long, and it was your guild that started the war. Why are you helping me all of a sudden?"

Kamek looked away. "It was I, not the guild who started the war," he said lifelessly. "I groomed Bowser to take the throne, and I made him his father's advisor. I never dreamed he would allow the border disputes to escalate into a full-scale war, and I absolutely never dreamed he would place the blame on the Magikoopas guild." He looked back at Peach with a renewed aura of hope about him. "But it's never too late, m'dear, to correct a mistake."

"Well," Peach sighed, "I don't know whether to believe you or not, but I really don't have a choice."

"I'm afraid not. Now, will you take the vial?"

"Yes."

"Thank you," Kamek smiled. "Wish us luck."

Bowser had scheduled the wedding for the next day, no matter that he was overworking his already strained castle staff to get ready for it.

"You there! Get that banner up! I want a bigger cake! Where's my suit?"

Clawdia, meanwhile, was still locked in Bowser's room. She was having problems of her own.

"Listen, now. And listen good," she snarled, holding a Koopa Troopa by the front of its shell, talking slowly and cutting off every word with deliberate clarity. "I... am... not... going... to... wear... that. Get the picture?"

"B- but my Lord Bowser demands it!" the Koopa squealed.

Clawdia glanced contemptuously at the outfit she was supposed to wear. That... that was beneath her dignity.

"Look. I may be forced to marry Bowser, I may be forced to do disgusting things for him, but I will not be paraded around like some kind of se-"

The Troopa cleared his throat, and began as if quoting from his code of loyalty. "What you think you want is irrelevant. I really don't care if you like this. I have my orders, and they are your orders as well. Frankly, if Bowser decrees that you are to wear... this, you shall, if Bowser decrees that you will not, you will not. It makes no difference to me if Bowser orders you to serve in his court as his personal harlot!"

That was too much for Clawdia. She screamed. It felt good to scream after all this play-acting of being happy to be married to Bowser. Then she brought a clawed hand down onto the Troopa's face. Hard.

A howl escaped from the Troopa as the claws tore into his face. He dropped the outfit and, clutching his face, stumbled out of the room. Clawdia believed she had got him in the eye. She sank into a corner, absently flicking the abominable outfit into the center of the room.

Then Bowser, whistling cheerily, walked through the door.

He smiled at the trail of blood on the floor. Maybe Clawdia would be a good queen after all...

"Did he give you trouble, dear?" he asked cheerfully.

"Listen, you!" she snarled. "We need to talk about this 'dress'!"

She held up the flimsy bit of fabric in front of him.

"How dare they?!" he yelled in outrage as he took it. "The nerve..."

"I'm glad to see we finally agree on something," she replied with some small measure of satisfaction.

"I'll say! This is at least twice as much fabric as I told them to use!"

Clawdia's face turned as red as the trail of blood on the floor. This was just too much, and Bowser was about to get another earful. "Would you run that past me again?" she growled.

Bowser tossed the dress over his shoulder into a lava pool.

"Incompetent, the whole lot of them," he grumbled. "I'll have them all executed for stupidity tomorrow."

"No! Wait!" Clawdia screeched.

"Yes?"

"I- I know a little about dressmaking. Maybe I could-"

"A queen, lower herself to the position of a seamstress?! Never!"

"Wait! Hear me out! I could just oversee them... make sure they do it right." Bowser still seemed unsure, so she decided to try a new tactic. "You know..." she added in a sultry voice, "make sure they make something that will... please you."

Bowser grinned wolfishly and departed. Phew... another silver bullet dodged. Well, to keep the facade up and running, she had to get to work. And - shudder - she had to keep her promise to 'please' that conniving slimeball.

Bowser strolled along whistling. Everything was going exactly according to plan. The castles were set up, the princess was in custody, and the kingdom would soon be his. A Troopa dashed up to him and saluted.

"Well?" Bowser replied without so much as attempting to return the salute. "Give me your report on the plumbers' progress."

"They've gotten through the first castle sir."

"Already?" Bowser asked in surprise. "I thought it would take them at least another week to get through... oh well. Keep me informed."

There was no way Bowser could have known that things were NOT all going as planned. There was no way he could know that in the time it took his report to get here, the Mario Brothers had made their way into the very heart of his Empire. And there was no way he could have known that at that moment he was being watched by his closest advisor, a rebel leader. No, if ignorance was bliss, then at that moment Bowser was the happiest creature in any of Plit's four kingdoms.

Clawdia was fighting a problem of sorts. How in the Abyss was she supposed to create a wedding outfit that was not completely humiliating and yet not disappoint Bowser? Knowing him, if it didn't fit his fancy, he was likely to tear it off her, leaving her even more humiliated.

Then she got an idea! It wasn't ideal, but it was the best thing she could do. If she performed it just right, Bowser would think she was wearing something that would "please" him, and no one else would see her anyway.

She got to work. Later, she would have to talk to Kamek for seeing to the distraction she would need.

Bowser had slated the wedding for this day. It was being held in the grand hallway. The only light was a fire flickering in the center. Bowser was standing up front with Kamek, who was performing the ceremony.

Bowser was shuffling his feet in impatience, and Kamek seemed distracted.

Clawdia walked up to Bowser, wearing a white cloak that covered her entire body. First, he seemed angry at her and his massive claws flexed.

Kamek fumbled his book open. "We are gathered here-" Then he looked at the back of the room and his jaw dropped. Naturally, all eyes turned to the back. That was the signal. Clawdia whipped the cloak off and hurtled it over the fire. Bowser's eyes snapped to her, but he only got one brief, but greatly intriguing flash, before the room was plunged into darkness. Clawdia heaved a silent sigh of relief. It was all okay now. She would not be humiliated.

Slowly, the room came into groggy focus. The figure of Bowser was across from her, and moving at her. Suddenly, she was snatched in an unbreakable grip. Rough claws stroked her flesh. Clawdia stiffened in rage. That arrogant pig! The least he could do was wait to abuse her body until they were alone.

"Err, ahem," Kamek muttered. "We are gathered here to witness the union of these two souls in-"

"Just get to the point!" Bowser growled. "I have... urgent business to get to."

Clawdia shuddered.

"Err, yes. Well, um... if anyone here has any reason that these two should not be wed-"

"He will thrown to the Piranha Plants as soon as he opens his mouth!" Bowser yelled.

There was absolute silence.

"W- well," Kamek muttered nervously, "I suppose I now pronounce you Koopa and wife. You may now kiss-"

"KING BOWSER!" a Koopa Troopa yelled, charging into the room.

"This had best be extremely important..." Bowser snarled through clenched teeth.

"It's the Marios! They're inside the castle!"

As the room plunged into a panic, Clawdia glanced at Kamek for a moment. Apparently, he was thinking the same thing: "finally".

"General quarters," commanded Bowser. "All troops prepare for battle. Guards, full intruder alert status, activate the defense warps."

Kamek decided that now was a good time to cause a little havoc. When no one was looking, he waved his wand in the direction of the nearest "?" box, casting a spell on the castle's item system and removing the safeguards that kept the power-up items from being used only by Bowser. "That should give him something to keep him occupied," he whispered to Clawdia, "while we take out a few of the castle's defenses. Come quickly."

Clawdia only took the time to don a robe Kamek conjured up, concealing her exposure.

Bowser sat at the crystal ball he'd "obtained" from Kamek, watching the Mario Brothers. They were completely lost, the fools. They would never find the way through his personal castle. He sat back and relaxed. There was nothing to worry about now.

But suddenly his eyes snapped back to the vision. There was now a third figure with the Marios. He couldn't tell who it was as it was obscured in a black cloak. It was leading the Marios through the passages of his castle!

Bowser smashed the delicate ball into thousands of tiny pieces with a single stroke of his massive claw. He then stormed off to deal with those idiots himself, and that traitor.

Clawdia motioned the Marios into the room where the princess and the unstoning potion were. After they were gone, she disappeared down a hidden passage.

"Are you alright, Your Highness?" Mario asked in a hushed voice as he unlocked the cell door.

"I'm fine," answered Peach, "but we have to hurry."

"You don't need to tell me twice. C'mon."

"I wouldn't do that, human!" came a thunderous voice from all around them.

"Who the?" Mario wondered out loud.

"Oh no," moaned Peach, "Don't tell me it's-"

"Hm hm hm hm hmmmmmmmmmm, I see you made your way here at last. Took ya long enough, fatso!" came the voice.

"It is," sighed Peach, "it's him."

Bowser fell down from the ceiling, landing between the humans with a crash, knocking all three off their feet.

Kamek bit his lip as he watched the battle progress from another crystal ball. The Mario Brothers were losing. Bowser had hit Luigi with a hammer, knocking him out, and Mario was barely dodging Bowser's fire breath. He used his wand to create a Fire Flower next to Luigi, who was just waking up, but he wasn't sure if that would be enough.

Suddenly, Kamek's eyes lit up as he saw... yes! It was! Bowser was standing on the narrow suspension bridge over a magma pit leading to the dungeon. But he wouldn't stay there for long. Kamek immediately conjured up an axe behind Bowser. Hopefully, the Mario Brothers would be able to see it and know what to do with it.

"Mario!" the princess called, pointing to the axe.

Mario ran under Bowser as the Koopa King tried to smash him, and grabbed the axe. Bowser turned and laughed.

"You pathetic human! What do you think you can do to me with that? I am King Koopa! The Great Bowser! No mere human can defeat me! Especially not with a miserable little hatchet."

"Oh I don't have to hit you with it," Mario replied calmly. "All I have to do," he raised the axe up, "is this!"

With one swoop, the chain holding up the bridge was severed.

Bowser screamed and plummeted into the lava below. He wasn't hurt; the scream was more of one of outrage than anything else.

Mario dashed over to the princess. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, I suppose so. Let's get Luigi and then get out of this terrible place."

"Hey, what happened to Luigi anyway?" Mario looked around in confusion.

"I'm over here!" Luigi yelled from the other side of the lava pit.

Kamek tuned out. They would get out all right now.

Clawdia lounged back on Bowser's bed, confident that she would be rid of Bowser for quite some time while he was in recuperation.

The door slammed open. Bowser stood there, a maniacal red glint in his eye.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm immune to lava, sweet. The princess is gone, but soon Kamek's potion will kill the humans. And now I may reap my rewards from today."

Clawdia swallowed as he advanced on her. She braced herself for what she knew was to come. She could feel his body force his way onto hers...

Her screams were heard all throughout the castle that night.

Bowser sighed. Ah, the good old days, but now it was all over. He almost wished that he could just die to end the boredom and torture of his life.

The figure in the shadows granted his wish. It leapt onto Bowser's back. A knife flashed and Bowser's throat was cut in an instant. He collapsed, dead before he hit the ground. Ludwig, new King of the Koopas, stood triumphantly on the parapet. His wife and a strange red figure walked out to join him.

"My lord?" Karma whispered to her beloved. She fell to her knees and kissed his hand.

The red figure bowed deeply and nodded in approval. The terrible reign of King Bowser was finally over.


	4. Switcheroo

Story #5: Swicheroo By Golden Road

Ludwig: Yes! I have finally done it! My greatest invention ever!

Lemmy: I thought you said your LAST invention was the greatest ever.

Ludwig: Well this one takes the cake. This is my most incredible invention yet!

Lemmy: Well, what does your so great invention do?

Ludwig: I'll show you. If I point this remote where I'm standing, and I press this button...

ZAP!

Ludwig: Now, you are where I was standing, and I am where you were standing.

Lemmy: So, it switches whoever you point it at with where I'm standing?

Ludwig: No, whoever the person who is zapped is thinking about, those two people switch places. I know, you don't have to tell me, I'm a genius!

Lemmy: So, what are you going to do with this?

Ludwig: Simple, Lemmy. Go lock yourself in the dungeon.

Lemmy: What?!

Ludwig: Lock yourself in the dungeon, and think of Mario.

Lemmy: Oh, I got you now! So then, I'll wind up wherever Mario is, and he'll wind up in the dungeon.

Ludwig: I need four other siblings too, to make sure we can trap everyone down here!

Lemmy: How do you plan to do that?

Ludwig: Simple. (Ludwig gets on the intercom.) First four siblings down here get a free chocolate bar!

Wendy rushes down like lightning, followed by Morton, Roy, and Iggy. Larry is nowhere around.

Ludwig: Guess Larry won't be getting a chocolate bar...

Lemmy: I don't think he cares.

Wendy: Where's my chocolate? I want it NOW!

Ludwig: First, lock yourselves in the dungeon.

Roy: What? You'd better be joking, Kooky! Or else-

Ludwig: In a few seconds, if you listen to me, you'll be in the Mushroom Kingdom, perhaps even Peach's castle.

Wendy: Ooh, I've always wanted to go there!

Ludwig: First, get in the dungeon cell. Trust me here.

Roy: You're dead if this doesn't work!

Ludwig: Trust me now. Now, here's what I want you to do. Lemmy, think hard about Mario.

Lemmy: Got it!

Ludwig: Iggy, think hard about Luigi.

Iggy: Anything for a speaking role!

Ludwig: Roy, think hard about Yoshi.

Roy: I'll think about beating him up!

Ludwig: Morton, think hard about Toad.

Morton: Will do, I'm already thinking about that little pip-squeak Mushroom guy, ooh, he's a bit ugly, and he's bald too, that's why he always wears that hat of his, but then again, I'm almost bald too, so I shouldn't complain much about that, because he might be saying the same stuff about me, so I'll just shut up now.

Ludwig: And Wendy-

Wendy: Yeah, yeah, I know, the Princess.

Ludwig: Right. Now get ready. When I point this remote at you and press the button-

Meanwhile, at Peach's castle...

Mario I love when you-a cook spaghetti for dinner, Peach.

Peach: It's steak, not spaghetti, Mario.

Mario: Well, it looks like-a spaghetti to me.

Luigi: Would you stop eating my hair, Mario?

Mario: You don't have- hair, Toad.

Luigi: I'm- Luigi, not Toad!

Toad: At least I wear a hat. Morton should wear one of these hats too, he'd look less hideous.

Yoshi: Yoshi hungry! Want steak!

Peach: Don't worry, the steaks are done, so just settle down.

All: Yay! Finally!

Peach: Now the first steak will go to-

A flash of light appears, as Mario turns into Lemmy, Luigi turns into Iggy, Yoshi turns into Roy, and Toad turns into Morton.

Morton: Yes! Now we have the palace. It's ours! No pesky plumbers to stop us, and no annoying Princess here to stop us. It's ours! It's-

Lemmy: Peach is still here, Morton.

Peach: What did you do with Mario, Yoshi, Toad, and the dumb guy?!

Roy: What was our stupid sister thinking of? I'll pound her!

Lemmy: Nevermind that, we can take on Peach, right?

Meanwhile, back at Koopa Castle...

Ludwig: You are all my prisoners!

Mario: It's nice of you to give us free room and board here.

Luigi: Let us out of here, you monster!

Toad: How did we get in here, anyway?

Ludwig: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Aw, I can't help showing off my evil genius, I gotta' tell someone. This remote here, when pointed at someone, will switch that person's position with whoever that person was thinking of at the moment. My siblings were locked in this cell, and I pointed the remote at them while they were thinking of you. So-

Luigi: They're in Peach's castle?!

Ludwig: You're not so dumb after all!

Daisy: Let us out of here, you creep!

Ludwig: Shut up, Pea- AUGH! You're not Peach!

Daisy: Great, no one knows my name. How typical.

Luigi: Want to go out on a date, Daisy?

Daisy: Uh, Luigi, we're trapped in here, remember?

Ludwig: Wendy was thinking of the wrong Princess! I could kill her!

Meanwhile, back at Peach's castle...

Peach: Say "uncle", Roy!

Roy: Never! I can get out of this!

Peach: Say "uncle"!

Roy: Ok, ok, uncle, uncle!

Lemmy: Who would've known Peach was a blackbelt?

Peach: Where are Mario, Yoshi, Toad, and the dumb guy?

Lemmy: Well...

Peach: ANSWER ME!

Lemmy: Or what?

Peach: Or THIS!

Peach throws Lemmy up into the sun... is he dead? Ah, well, who cares?

(Lemmy: Uh… me…)

Peach: WHERE ARE THEY?!

Roy: The dungeon! The dungeon! No more! I can't take it!

Morton: Oh, Roy, you're such a blabbermouth, I thought you were tough, and a little girl like Peach makes you so scared, face it, you're nothing but a wimp, and wait until everyone else finds out, you'll be a laughingstock. Boy, I can't-

WHACK!

Peach: Shut up, Morton!

Morton: Ow, ow, ow, ow...

Peach: Anyway, to the dungeon I go. And oh yes... GUARDS! Take these Koopa Kids away!

Four guards come in and take the Koopalings away... no wait, the Koopalings could fight back. Eh, how do I handle this... let's just pretend the Koopalings got stuck in the castle prison somehow.

Now, in Super Mario Land, where Princess Daisy rules, we must find Wendy there!

Wendy: Ooh, I like it here! These people are so unadvanced, they think I'm a god sent down here because they've been bad! Haha!

Chibibo: Would you like more seafood, your royal goddess?

Wendy: Hehe, you bet, now!

Well, it looks like Wendy is having a good time. Let's see how Ludwig and Mario's crew are doing.

Mario: I'm starving! How could you lock us down here with no food, Ludwig?

Toad: You stupid # (*&, you've been down here ten minutes, and you ate a lot before you got zapped down here.

Mario: Ten minutes? It feels like it's been a whole twelve minutes!

Ludwig: SHUT UP! Now, I'll go get King Dad to show him, and you all can rot in your cells!

Daisy: Let me out of here!

Luigi: I'm in love.

Daisy: My sister will get us out of here!

Ludwig: You mean your puny little wimpy sister Peach? Ha! That'll be the day!

Daisy: She's tougher than she looks!

Ludwig: You're right! That would explain how King Dad can kidnap her constantly, you are such a little genius!

Daisy: You're being sarcastic.

Ludwig: Ironic, actually... I hate how the "little people" misuse sarcastic.

Daisy: Who cares?!

Luigi: You tell him, Daisy!

Ludwig: Now just sit there while I go get King Dad... ooh, he will be so happy to see you!

Ludwig runs up to get Bowser, but of course, he doesn't take the dungeon key with him.

Luigi: If only we could reach that key, we could get out of here.

Daisy: Oh, this story is so stupidly predictable. Peach is going to come down here and use the key to save us.

And at that moment, they see Peach coming down the stairs... carried by Bowser, who throws her in the dungeon cell.

Bowser: You forget, Peach, I'm a little bigger than my weakling kids.

Peach: Sorry, I was going to save you guys... turns out Bowser has a blackbelt too.

Daisy: Ok, maybe this story isn't going to be so predictable after all.

At that moment, a spaceship lands in the dungeon and frees the Mario gang.

Peach: Hold it, hold it! Golden Road?

Golden Road: Yes, Peach?

Peach: This is getting absolutely ridiculous! Sure, unpredictability is good, but a spaceship? Puh-lease!

Golden Road: What? Don't you like reading a story that's unpredictable?

Peach: Well sure, but this is just plain stupid. Please lose the spaceship.

Golden Road: Ok, fine, whatever you want!

The spaceship that landed turns out to be only a hologram, so the Mario gang is still trapped in the dungeon.

Daisy: Great! Thanks to you, Peach, we're still trapped in the dungeon!

Peach: Sorry, but that would've been a stupid way to be rescued. I just couldn't allow it.

Luigi: Never fear, Daisy my Beauty! I have the remote! All I need to do is point it at myself, and think of-

Mario swipes the remote out of Luigi's hand and points it at himself, then presses the button, and a bowl of pasta appears where Mario once was.

Mario (in Peach's castle): D'oh! Where's my pasta I was thinking of? This stupid remote doesn't work!

Luigi: Mario was thinking of a stupid pasta? Great, NOW how will we get out of here?

Toad: At least that #$(* Mario is gone, and I can finally have some pasta without Mario stealing it from me.

Yoshi: Mario imitate Hamburglar too much, only steal pasta, not hamburgers.

Luigi: Yoshi, you've never been to Earth, how do you know about the McDonald's characters?

Yoshi: What McDonald's?

Peach: Maybe Mario will come back here and save us!

Daisy: Yeah right, that idiot couldn't eat his way out of a bowl of pasta... eh, I mean a bowl of oatmeal!

Yoshi: Bleach! Yoshi hate oatmeal!

Luigi: You're right, cream of wheat beats oatmeal anyday!

Peach: No, grits is the best!

Yoshi: Cream of wheat? Grits? Bleach!

Luigi: Cream of wheat rules!

Daisy: No, oatmeal, people!

Peach: Grits is-

Toad: STOP IT, you # *(#)! Who the heck cares? We're trapped in this stupid cell! We need to get out.

Meanwhile, Mario is on his way to defeat the Koopas!

Mario: Finally, I caught you Koopa Kids! My job here is done!

Roy: You idiot! We've been in here! All you did was glance this way and saw us trapped here!

Back in Super Mario Land...

Wendy is gone! Who knows where she ran off to?

Anyway, back in Koopa Castle, the prisoners are still trapped... it surely is taking a long time for Ludwig to get back to the dungeon with Bowser... he must have just woken up or something.

(Lemmy: Er… Bowser already knows, he was here earlier! Ludwig must have blown a gasket in his mind!)

Peach: Face it, we're in here for life.

Toad: It's all that # (*&%$ Luigi's fault too.

Luigi: MY fault?!

Toad: Yes, your fault. If you had held on to that remote tighter, we'd be out of here by now! Thank you, oh thank you, Luigi!

Yoshi: Toad be ironic.

Peach: Do you have to talk like Ludwig?

Toad: Yoshi HARDLY talks like Ludwig.

Daisy: Don't blame Luigi; he may be a weakling, but he's still cute.

Luigi: I'm in a-love.

At that moment, they see Wendy coming down the dungeon steps.

Wendy: Shh, be quiet you guys, I'm getting you out of here.

Luigi: I'd rather be saved by the spaceship.

Peach: You must have switched places with my sister.

Wendy: Well, I always wanted to rule Super Mario Land, but it got boring.

Daisy: I suppose it has nothing to do with the fact that there are no malls there?

Wendy: Of course it does! You must go insane there! Anyway, I like Peach, I can't let her suffer down here like this.

Luigi: Oh, you weren't here to rescue me because of my dashing good looks?

Wendy: Puh-lease! If you weren't in the same cell as Peach, you'd stay locked up down here!

Peach: Thank you, Wendy! I'll need to remember to get you something for your birthday!

Wendy: It was two days ago.

Peach: Oh well, there's always next year! Bye!

The Mario gang hurries out Koopa Castle. A few seconds later, Ludwig and Bowser come down the stairs.

Bowser: I've decided to let you go... into the lava pits! Bwahaha!

Ludwig: Uh, King Dad, they seem to have escaped.

Bowser: WHY did you leave the key down here? You, you...

Ludwig: Actually, you were the last one to use it.

Bowser: This is your fault! Get in that dungeon NOW!

Bowser tosses Ludwig in the dungeon, and he lands on his head, and Wendy sneaks out behind Bowser.

Ludwig: Wendy! You little wretched... Wendy let them out!

Bowser: Well, I don't see her down here, do you?

Ludwig: RIGHT THERE!

As soon as Bowser turns his head, Wendy is out of sight.

Bowser: Congratulations, you get one extra day for lying to me!

Ludwig: I thought we were supposed to lie.

Bowser: Not to ME, though!

Bowser walks out, and Ludwig is trapped in the dungeon. Morton, Roy, Lemmy, and Iggy are trapped in the castle prison. Larry and Wendy are the only Koopalings that are free... wait, Larry's free? I'll change that.

Larry: Now I feel like going Koopa bowling!

Larry gets out his bowling ball, and notices a lit fuse on it.

Larry: Uh oh.

KABOOM!

So, Ludwig is stuck in the dungeon, Morton, Roy, Lemmy, and Iggy are stuck in the castle prison, and Larry is blown up.


	5. A Matter Of Loalty

Story #6: A Matter of Loyalty

"Ack!" screamed Ludwig von Koopa as the thruster fired and a flame ignited in the maintenance hatch, narrowly missing his hair. "Karma, turn it off!" There was a humming sound and the thruster deactivated. Ludwig slid out of the maintenance panel of his doomship, KDS Amadeus, and sighed. "It would appear," he began wisely, "that the problem is not in the reverberating nitrocarbonizer, and that repolarizing that device was an unnecessary and harmful modification."

"Gee," Karma barked "who'd-a guessed? Oh, that's right, I DID!"

"Well, I thought it wise to investigate every possibility," Ludwig countered. "However, now I think we should consider reversing the Lodestone of the gravometric-"

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Karma snapped and stormed up into the maintenance hatch. "Kooky, get your carcass up here!" she shouted after a moment.

Ludwig sighed and climbed up the steel ladder into the maintenance hatch. When he got to the hatch he was greeted by a very disgruntled Karma holding a half-melted socket wrench.

"I found this in your Jet drive," she explained.

Before Ludwig could come up with a reply he was rescued by a high-pitched voice from the floor of the hangar.

"Hey," shouted Lemmy, "are you through up there?"

"Yeah," Karma yelled, "this idiot and me are through!"

"Well," Lemmy replied, "King Dad needs to see you two in his command room right away." Having delivered his message, Lemmy went about his ballriding.

Karma and Ludwig looked at each other in disbelief. "Did he just say both of us?" Karma asked incredulously.

"I believe so," Ludwig answered, shocked. "Let's go investigate."

"Right," Karma agreed, and the two hurried away to see what King Bowser wanted.

King Bowser Koopa paced the floor of his command room impatiently. Where are they, he thought, what's taking Lemmy so long to deliver a simple message?

He stopped momentarily to look out his window into the doomship hangar and saw two people running toward the elevator to where he was. One was a fairly tall Koopa with wild blue hair that billowed behind his head as he ran, and the other, he thought with disgust, was a halfling: half purple-shelled Koopa, half Yoshi. Well, he thought, it's about time those two got here.

"So," came a rich baritone voice from behind him, "what's swingin', daddy-o?"

"Keep silent, Jazzman," Bowser snapped at Ludwig's twin, "you will be informed when your brother and his freak arrive."

"Sheesh," Jazzman murmured, "ya haven't got to be such a square."

At that moment the elevator door opened and Ludwig and Karma stepped into the command room.

"There you are," Bowser barked, "sit down."

Ludwig and Karma took their usual seats at Bowser's conference table. Ludwig sat at the end closest to Bowser's seat andKarma sat at the opposite end, right next to where Jazzman was sitting by chance.

Bowser looked to see that they were all seated, then took his seat and began. "As you all three probably know, the Mushroom Kingdom has offered severe resistance to our advances. Without our vast military power we wouldn't stand a chance against the Mario Brothers' defense." He paused to let that sink in while mumbling something about General Flutter, then continued. "Which brings me to my point. The spearhead of our military is the doomship fleet. However, we are getting to the point where there just aren't enough doomships to be everywhere they are needed. With your ship, Ludwig, in the hangar for repairs and modifications, and mine," he sneered, "well, we all know what happened to my doomship."

"Izzat the wreck off the coast of Yoshi's isle that fell outta the sky a few years back?" Jazzman asked earnestly. Karma stifled a snicker at the look on Bowser's face.

"Yes, Jazzman," Bowser growled menacingly, "now be quiet!"

Jazzman jumped, surprised at the rebuke over what seemed like a simple question.

"Anyway," Bowser continued, cooling off, "the obvious solution is to build more doomships. However, the problem is that the law states only a member of the royal family may command a doomship, and we're running low on members of the royal family. Clawdia could take one, but she doesn't want any part of the war. We can't seem to raise mine to the surface, and I'd lose a lot of face if I ordered a replacement built," Bowser paused, apparently reluctant to say what came next, "which leaves me with only one option:" he looked at Karma and Jazzman and continued, "you two."

Karma and Jazzman were both taken aback by this. "Ya mean," Karma inquired, "you're actually starting to trust us?"

"No," Bowser snapped back, "but I have no choice." He took a deep breath and was all-business again. "You have three days to prepare a design and submit it to Ludwig. After that you have two weeks, assuming it meets standards, to complete construction using whatever resources you need. The ships may be equipped with one Power-up for emergency use only. Is that clear? Thank you, you are all dismissed."

They all got up to leave, shocked at what they had just heard. "Not you Ludwig," Bowser called to his son. Ludwig turned, walked back into the command room, and stood in front of Bowser.

"Yes, father," Ludwig said formally.

Bowser looked around to make sure no one was listening, and whispered, "I want you to be aware, son, that I will be watching your actions very closely."

Ludwig furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?" he asked, puzzled.

"I mean," Bowser growled, "that every time I send you and your twin on a mission together you suddenly become prone to errors, errors that effect the outcome of the mission, such as," he took on a mockingly innocent tone of voice, "a malfunction in your targeting system. A malfunction, I might add," he roared, "that destroyed our entire invasion force and enabling the survival of the Monstro Wing (or should I say Regiment now?), squandering our advantage of surprise, and prompting Flutter to declare a full-scale war against us!"

Ludwig forced a shocked look onto his face. "Are you implying," he asked innocently, "that I knowingly and willfully sabotaged my own vessel in an attempt to eradicate our own personnel and cause a crucial mission to fail?"

Bowser narrowed his eyes until they were glowing yellow slits before answering. "I am implying that your explanation was very suspicious, and this kind of sabotage is treason. Nor would it be the first time you have committed an act of treason, and I will not let another incident go unnoticed. Is that clear, Baron?"

"Perfectly clear, father." Ludwig answered neutrally.

"Excellent. Dismissed." Bowser said curtly. Ludwig nodded his head once and walked out the door. Bowser was almost certain he heard Ludwig mumble "he's on to me" as he left the room.

The wind blew fiercely over the sky world. Clouds blew past and the deck of the KDS Crusher rocked from side to side as the ship swayed in the turbulent gusts. Just the way I like it, thought Roy Koopa, watching from the bridge as one of the Rocky Wrenches who served as his crew went tumbling over the side to his doom. It gets rid of the weak, and only the strong survive. Roy watched in anticipation as another Rocky tumbled from his post to the opposite side of the deck. Just before the mole-turtle reached the edge,

however, he kicked off the railing and grabbed a solid pipe attached to the thruster system. Roy raised his eyebrows and nodded approvingly. Not bad, he thought, if only the rest were like that. He glowered behind his custom-made sunshades. Unfortunately, they're not, and if we stay up here much longer I won't have much of a crew left. "Prepare for landing," he called out over the deck, ignoring the PA system. Instantly, crewmen began scurrying to their posts, eager to put the vessel back on solid ground.

"If you don't mind my asking, sir," came the basso-profundo voice of the Sledge Brother who was Roy's Commandant of Troops, "what are we doing up here on a day like this?"

"That's a good question." Roy answered flatly, "Why are we here? Why are we here when the war is everywhere else? Even Ludwig's about to get sent on an attack run they say."

"Well sir," the Commandant spoke tentatively, "Ludwig's ship IS the best in the fleet. I mean, I'm sure you've heard stories of-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Roy rolled his eyes, "I've heard all about the almighty Flagship Amadeus and it's domination of the pipe maze. I've heard all about Kook's spectacular strategies, flyin' around up there in moves so showy that all the 'shrooms in Pipe Land knew a week in advance where he was gonna hit next. I've heard all about his daring, courageous attacks where all he did was waste tons of lead and brass blowin' away a bunch o' brush." Roy thought of the Piranha Plant infestation in Pipe Land and added, "And most of

that brush was probably on our payroll! I mean, c'mon, let's face it: by the time Ludwig was through, there wasn't anything left to conquer. The 'shrooms didn't surrender, they abandoned the place. It's not like a bunch of water and dead grass was any more useful to them then it is to us."

"Well," the Commandant replied uncertainly, "Lord Bowser seems to think that Ludwig was responsible for the success."

"Of course 'e does," Roy barked, "all Ludwig had to do was sling some techno-babble about everything that made his ship 'invincible', and Bowser was hooked."

"We are approaching cloud level." came the voice of the ship's helmsman, cutting Roy's tirade short.

"Brace for turbulence!" Roy bellowed over the noise of the ship, ignoring the PA system once again. "Helm," he said to the crewman at the control panel, "take 'er through." Roy braced himself for the nauseatng yet exhilirating feeling of cloud descent. As the Crusher began its passage through the low gray clouds, Roy had a sudden epiphany. "What if," he half wondered out loud and half asked his Commandant, "we didn't wait for our orders?"

The Commandant's brow furrowed as he countered, "I'm not sure I follow you."

Roy turned and looked into the Commandant's eyes. Something about the look on Roy's face said that the last question had been a rhetorical one, and Roy's mind was made up. "Prepare the supersonic engines," Roy commanded, confirming the Commandant's suspicions. "We're gonna follow Kooky whether he likes it or not."

"Okay, Ludwig, one more time," Karma sighed as she looked across Ludwig's workbench at the plan for her new doomship, "what if the thrusters were here, and this cannon was moved back in front of the cabin?"

Ludwig seemed lost in thought for a second. "That is better, but where will the rear weapons array go?"

"Right where it is, you idiot!" Karma barked. "What difference does it make if there's a Bullet Bill cannon blocking the path through?"

Ludwig raised one eyebrow. "That is a very tactically sound defense, however there is one flaw. You have to design the ship so intruders cannot board the ship but you still have a safe way through."

Karma rolled her eyes. "Kooky," she groaned, "I'm only going to be going through the defense lines when the ship is docked, and the cannons will be off," she paused, waiting for Ludwig to find something wrong with that logic. Finally, she just leaned over onto the workbench sleepily and murmured, "Well, I think I'm done."

"Yeah," Jazzman chimed in, "we've been sittin' here for twelve hours straight workin', daddy-o. I think-"

"Twelve hours," Ludwig scolded, "and you have already become exhausted? I was occupied for three days in their entirety planning the layout of Amadeus." He sighed at the disinterested look on the faces of Karma and Jazzman. "But I suppose these plans are sufficient. I will send them to Father, and I'll have three divisions of troops assigned to constructing the vessels."

"Swingin'," Jazzman said, getting up out of his seat and stretching. "Hey Kooky, I've got just one more question. Why are we doin' this? I mean, what's Bowser's big rush to put us in the command seat?"

Ludwig looked away. "I... I know why," he said under his breath, "but you wouldn't like it if I told you."

"What was that?" inquired Karma.

"I must report back to Father," Ludwig announced, dodging the subject. "I will have the builders at work by the end of the day." Ludwig then stepped out the door and quickly strode down the hall to Bowser's command room.

In Ludwig's workroom, Karma and Jazzman looked at each other, confused.

"What was that all about?" Karma wondered out loud.

Bowser looked up from the stack of papers in front of him as the door to his command room opened. "Ah, Ludwig," he greeted, "just who I needed to see. Are they ready?"

Ludwig placed the two proposed schematics on Bowser's desk. "I think you will find these to be adequate. As you see-"

Bowser waved the issue off. "Skip it, I trust your ability to decide if a doomship is airworthy. Now, what we must discuss is this: ... Uh, do sit down, Ludwig."

Ludwig pulled a chair out from under Bowser's desk and sat across the desk from him.

"I want you to take your ship," Bowser said with his hands clasped in front of him, "and lead those two on their first mission once their ships are built. Your target will be-"

"Yoshi's Island," Ludwig interrupted with a sigh, "I overheard you and Kamek engaged in discussion over it."

Bowser was taken aback. "W... well," he stammered, "I see. Then you already know that I'm going to be watching to see if you or either of them tries anything." He leaned across the desk toward Ludwig and snarled, "And If I see any of the three of you so much as breathing without direct orders, I'll have all three of you, and the crews of all three of your ships, put to death. Is that clear, Baron?"

Ludwig swallowed hard. "Perfectly clear, Father," he whispered.

Good," Bowser grinned, "now you are dismissed."

Ludwig stood up to leave.

"Oh, there is one more thing, Ludwig," Bowser said as an afterthought. "I would suggest you check your targeting system before you leave. I would hate for a systems malfunction to give me the 'false' impression that you were committing an act of rebellion."

Ludwig paused, then strode out the door, leaving Bowser to his paperwork. Bowser was about to go back to reading failure reports from remote divisions when his intercom system beeped. "This'd better be important," he growled and picked up the mouthpiece. "If this is not a report of the unconditional surrender of Mushroom Kingdom I'm hanging up!" he shouted as he lifted the mouthpiece.

"S... sorry sir," came the voice of a very confused Troopa on the other end, "but the Crusher is requesting landing clearance."

Bowser paused, wondering if he should check the intercom system for malfunctions. "Can you run that past me again?" he inquired.

"Whaddaya mean, 'refused'?" demanded Roy. "You mean they won't even let us land?"

"The Hangarmaster is saying we don't have clearance to dock here," answered the communications Lieutenant, a yellow-shelled Troopa, "and that we're supposed to be on active duty in Sky World."

"I know we are," snapped Roy, "but we..." he paused to think of a way to justify his presence, "we're here to pick up supplies and to," he paused, searching for a better excuse, "and to escort the Amadeus to its target. Tell them that."

The Lieutenant nodded and picked up the headset-and-mouthpiece connected to the off-ship radio and repeated, "Hangar, this is Crusher, We request clearance to land and take on supplies to escort Amadeus on its next mission." There was silence as he waited for a response. After a moment his eyes widened in shock, and his forehead wrinkled in confusion. "They say," he said uncertainly to Roy, "that the Amadeus already has two escort ships."

"What?!" Roy screamed, causing the windows of the bridge to rattle. "Who? The other doomships are all off on the Monstro/Koopa border. Who else could it be?"

"Hangar," the Lieutenant asked slowly, "request clarification: who are the commanders of those two escort ships?" There was a long silence before the Lieutenant's jaw gaped open in what could have been either shock, horror, or disbelief.

"What is it? What is it?!" Roy rushed.

"Th... the commanders... are..."

"Well, who?"

"K... Karma and Jazzman."

The bridge crew learned a new definition of the word 'silence' as not even a breath was drawn. Roy clenched his fists as he got over his initial shock, and narrowed his shaded eyes so tightly it seemed his eyes would pop. "Where are they going?" he demanded through gritted teeth.

The Lieutenant picked up his receiver and asked the hangarmaster that question. "Yoshi's Island," he reported. "A... and..." he added quickly, "we... we're getting a signal from Lord Bowser: Priority one, audiovisual, and on a secure channel. He wants to speak directly to you, Prince."

Roy's jaw hung open for a moment. "Uh, put 'im through to my cabin," he ordered as he ascended the short flight of steps to his private cabin.

Bowser was already waiting impatiently upon Roy's viewscreen when he got there. "And just what do you think you're doing?" he roared, "I thought you were defending the Sky World."

"Defending it from what?" Roy shot back. "Nimbusae troops? I don't think so. Who would want the place?"

"That's beside the point, and none of your concern. I am the strategist here, I will give the orders," Bowser said, ignoring Roy's complaint. "And I already have two ships to escort the Amadeus. At least I will in two weeks."

"Two weeks?"

"Yes. That is how long it takes one of Ludwig's engineer battalions to construct a doomship, and he has one on each design." Bowser grinned, baring his deadly teeth. "Now as for you, I'm ordering you back to your post. You have 24 hours to gather whatever," he cleared his throat, "supplies... that you need, and get back to Sky World. Koopa Castle out!"

Bowser vanished from the viewer, leaving Roy to stare at a blank screen. He stood dumbly for a while, doing just that, before sighing heavily and looking out his window at the burning torches atop the spires of Koopa

Castle. It's a grand sight, he thought as he surveyed the flaming castle, towering above the surrounding fortresses and sub-fortresses defending it. Yeah, it's grand, he thought with resolve, and if Ludwig thinks I'm gonna let him or his pep-squad destroy it, he's got another thing comin'!

The doomships were completed right on schedule, and in two weeks Bowser was sitting in his command room staring out into the hangar at the newly refurbished Amadeus and its escort vessels, Free Bird and Peacemaker. Not bad, he thought as he inspected the two new vessels from his perch, now we can have them in the air by the end of the day. He looked out his opposite window toward the front lines of the war against Flutter. And once I've eliminated those gluttonous vermin, he raged, I'll send them for YOU, old friend. He forced himself to remain calm, and looked back toward the hangar. It was then that there was a beep at the door. "Enter," Bowser commanded and Ludwig strode in. "Ah, Ludwig," Bowser greeted again, "I'm curious. Why haven't you informed your... erm... chief escorts that you will be launched today?"

Ludwig looked at Bowser from the corner of his eye. "I... was not aware we were launching today."

Bowser looked surprised. "Well, of course you are," he said dryly, "why wait when we can launch now and eliminate those pests and move on to Monstro?"

"King Dad," Ludwig interposed, "why are we attacking Yoshi's Island? We could put the ships to much better use attacking Mushroom or Monstro defense positions."

Bowser's head tilted sharply up to face Ludwig. "Because," he answered, "I want to see if those two pests you have brought into the castle are loyal to the troop. If so, they can move on to Monstro Town and earn their fame as the heroes who put down a rebellion and saved the Empire. If not..." he hesitated, "well, I have no time for disloyalists, especially not in my own home. Do you understand, son?"

Yes, thought Ludwig sullenly, for the first time in my life I am beginning to understand. "Yes, Father," he answered compliantly.

"Good," Bowser said, as if the question had been, 'have you filled the magma pits today.' "Dismissed." Bowser looked back toward the stack of papers in front of him. He had almost finished reading a paragraph describing an insurrection taking place in the Island World when he heard the "woosh" of the doors of his command room opening and closing as Ludwig stepped out.

"Yoshi's Island?!" Karma screamed in horror. "You can't be serious!"

"She's right, daddy-o," Jazzman nodded, "there's no way we're gonna attack Yoshi's Isle and that's that, scatcat."

Ludwig sighed. "Look," he said softly, "I understand that you two have emotional reasons not to want to go through with this mission, but the alternative is the immediate execution of ourselves and the crews of our

ships."

There was silence for a minute before Karma shrugged and muttered, "I never liked my crew anyway."

Ludwig closed his eyes and mentally strangled Bowser. He did so not for forcing him to attack an island full of innocents, but for making him break the news of that attack to Karma and Jazzman. "If we do not carry out this attack," he said with a hint of an I'm-offering-you-an-alternative quality in his voice, "then Bowser will."

"Oh," mocked Karma, "that makes all the difference in the world. We have a choice between killing our friends or letting Bowser do it for us."

"No!" interrupted Ludwig. "You are not comprehending. If we go on this mission ourselves," he looked around to make sure no one was listening, "we can... take steps to ensure that the mission is... less than successful."

Karma and Jazzman were speechless. To sabotage a mission that was doomed to fail anyway and write it off as an equipment failure was one thing, but what Ludwig was suggesting was blatant insurrection. There would be no way they could show their faces in the castle again if they were caught.

"Are you saying," Karma asked in disbelief, "that we're going to launch today en route to Yoshi's Isle, and never come back, as in, just leave?"

"No." Ludwig replied, "I'm saying we will launch today, en route to Yoshi's Island, and land at our destination to establish a treaty between ourselves and the Yoshies. Then, we will begin planning our resistance

movement against Bowser."

Jazzman grinned his one-toothed grin. "Now you're talkin' my language," he said excitedly.

"There's just one thing," Karma interrupted. "What about our troops? They're loyal to Bowser. Won't they try to..."

Ludwig held up a hand to silence her. "I have ensured that the crew compliments of all three ships consist only of troops more loyal to me than to Bowser."

Karma's jaw dropped. "It sounds almost like you've been planning this!" she exclaimed.

"Of right it should, since I have." Ludwig replied flatly.

Karma and Jazzman looked at each other, then looked back.

"So," continued Ludwig, "are we all in agreement as to what must be done?" The vote was unanimous. "Very well then, let us depart." And with that the newest rebel group in the Koopa Empire stepped into the doomship hangar to begin their first mission.

"Amadeus to hangar control," said Ludwig's Commandant over the radio system, "request clearance for departure."

"Roger, Amadeus," the hangarmaster answered, "the sky is clear for your liftoff. Good luck."

"Thank you, hangar control." The Commandant sighed and put down the headset. "Helm, disengage docking clamps and begin engine ignition."

"Disengaging docking clamps," replied the helmsman as he carried out his orders, "starting engines."

The Commandant stepped toward Ludwig inconspicuously and whispered, "Y'think this'll work?"

Ludwig took a deep breath, making him look even larger and more intimidating standing next to the tiny Rocky Wrench. "I don't know," he replied, "but the alternative is to comply with Bowser. That, in my opinion,

is not an option."

The Commandant nodded. He opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut short by the voice of the ship's communication Troopa.

"Sir," called the troopa to either Ludwig or the Commandant, "the sister ships have launched and we are clear of obstacles."

"Excellent." Ludwig commented. "Helm, set course for Yoshi's Island, Mach 6." He paused to look around at the capitol city before finishing. It would most likely be a long time before he returned. Finally, he swallowed hard and spoke the one word that would launch the most devastating rebel assault that

the Koopa Kingdom had seen in decades: "Engage."

"So, we're underway?" asked the Commandant nervously.

Ludwig nodded. "Yes." He thought of a lie to reassure his Commandant. "And I have planned for every possible occurrance, so we should not fail."

The Commandant merely sighed and muttered, "Then why do I have such a bad feeling about this?"

The Commandant of the Crusher looked up excitedly from his scanning screen. "Sir," he shouted jubilantly, "we've found them! Three ships, one of them Amadeus, on a heading for Yoshi's Island at Mach 6."

Roy rapped his claws on the arm of his chair. "Plot a pursuit course," he ordered. "When Kooky makes a wrong move I want to know about it."

The Commandant saluted and passed these orders on to the Helmsman.

"Oh, and Commandant," Roy added as an afterthought, "hang back at least 20 kilometers. I don't want them to know we're following them, or they might not do anything."

The Commandant nodded and continued relaying orders. Excellent, Roy thought to himself, now as soon as we get in communications range I'll send a transmission to Ludwig saying that... yeah, saying that I have reason to believe those two THINGS are planning to foul up the mission. That'll give Ludwig a way out, there's no point in dragging him down with Karma and Jazzman. Then, he thought with a grin, those two are as good as bagged! Roy laughed at the sheer simplicity of the plan. It was almost too easy. It was

as if...

... As if they had planned for Crusher to be on them.

Roy dismissed the thought as rubbish. They couldn't have known. No, they were naive and trusting of their surroundings. Well, it would soon be their undoing.

"Baron," wavered the voice of a very confused Rocky Wrench Commandant as the doomship squadron approached Yoshi's Island, "the Crusher is hailing us, and Roy says it's urgent."

Ludwig clenched his fists and pounded the arm of his chair. Confound it, he thought savagely, so close and Roy has to befoul us with his presence. "Put him on the main viewer," Ludwig ordered irately. In seconds, Roy appeared on the viewer, clearly alarmed. Apparently, his message was as urgent as he said.

"Kooky," Roy gasped, "you've got to turn back now. You need to return to the castle."

Ludwig raised an eyebrow. "Might I ask why?" he inquired.

"It's those two. They're traitors, Ludwig! They're going to try to link up with the Yoshies and start another war with King Dad."

Ludwig tried unsuccessfully to hide the shock from his face.

How, he thought, could Roy have known about that?

Good, Roy thought at the look of horror on his elder brother's face, he's falling for it. Now to offer... assistance.

"It's you they're after first, Ludwig," he continued his series of lies, "it's you they want out of the way."

Ludwig was clearly confused. "Come again," he said slowly.

"Your ship is the most powerful," Roy explained, cringing at the admission. "They want to take you out using surprise and superior numbers so that you won't be able to fight them and the Yoshies off when they start

making their move."

Third base, thought Roy as he watched every emotion from confusion to fury flash across Ludwig's face, now if he''ll just listen to one more line...

"I can help you, bro," he offered. "They don't know I'm here. I could take them by surprise. Y'know, we take them out before they take us out. It'll work, and we'll have put down a rebellion." Roy waited for Ludwig's

response with bated breath.

Words cannot express Roy's shock when Ludwig shook his head and replied, "I'm sorry, brother, but I cannot let you get in our way. I will inform the other two that you have found us out and we will have to leave."

Us leave?, Roy thought. It can't be. It was true? I thought I had made that story up! And Ludwig is with them? This is an outrage!

Roy shook with fury as he began to make sense of Ludwig's words. "Well then," he rumbled, "then I'll have to get rid of this uprising myself. Cut transmission."

Ludwig had barely enough time to realize that Roy had severed contact before the deck of the Amadeus rocked under the strain of a bombardment of cannonballs from the attacking vessel. "Return fire," he yelled over the alert klaxons, "drop to subsonic and prepare for close combat. Signal the squadron that-"

Ludwig's words were cut off as the helm control station exploded, flinging sparks and flames around the bridge. As Ludwig struggled in vain to regain control he looked forward out the window to see a great mass of blue on the horizon before him. No, he corrected himself, below me! We're going to hit the water!

"What's happening?" Karma screamed over the noise of alert sirens and computerized warnings.

"Ma'am, the Amadeus is under attack," replied the burly Terra Cotta who served as Karma's Commandant. "The ship was attacked from the rear and it just went down."

"Ludwig!" Karma screamed in horror, "On... on viewer!"

The viewscreen came on in time to display the nose of the Flagship striking the water, followed by the rest of the massive vessel. It took a moment before the ship surfaced again, revealing that the bridge had been

struck by a cannonball, causing all control systems to go off-line. As Karma wondered what had done this the side of the Free Bird was pummeled with cannonballs from Crusher, giving her the answer. "Return fire," she ordered.

"We can't" informed her Commandant, "they just took out the weapons array." The Commandant looked at his flickering scanner reports and added, "And Peacemaker won't be much help either, she just lost her engines and she's going down."

A brief glance out the forward window at the Crusher, turning around to make a run back at its target, told Karma who their assailant was. "Roy," she muttered. Karma knew Roy, and she knew he was just the kind of person to do something like this, attacking his own allies. Of course, Karma reminded herself, we're not his allies anymore, but how could he have known that?

"There's just one more," declared Roy victoriously. "Let's take 'er out!"

"Aye, sir," answered the Commandant. In seconds the ship's myriad of cannons were bombarding Free Bird once again. Roy grinned his bullying grin as he thought of Bowser's reaction.

"I'm sure to take Ludwig's place as the successor," Roy murmured, "and then, as soon as I put Dad out of commission..." Realizing he had said too much, Roy looked around to see if anybody had heard him. Fortunately, everybody was too occupied with the assault on the one vessel left that could have brought peace to the warring reptilian races. "Ahem... damage report:"

"She's going down," reported the Commandant, " just watch the screen."

Rightly enough, Roy looked up at the viewscreen to see Karma's ship falling from the sky with its engines ablaze. Satisfied with his victory, Roy turned his mind to other battles. "Set course," he commanded pompously, "for Yoshi's Island."

All was confusion on the bridge of the KDS Free Bird. Somehow, Roy had ambushed the squadron, crippled the Amadeus, and now the Free Bird and Peacemaker were dead in the water with no way to move or lift off until the engines were repaired. Everyone's mind was occupied trying to figure out how to get out of the mess they were in. Everyone's, that is, except Karmas.

Karma despaired as she watched Crusher streaking toward Yoshi's Island. It was over, she thought. In a few seconds Roy would open fire on the defenseless island, and It would all be over. Karma began to sob as she thought of all the old friends who were about to lose their lives senselessly. She longed to throw herself into Ludwig's arms, but she couldn't.

Karma tried to fight back sobs as she thought of Ludwig. She didn't know if he was even alive. The bridge of Amadeus had taken a direct hit, Ludwig could easily have been killed by the explosion, or buried by debris, or any number of things. And now, she had no one left. She had already lost her parents, now she had lost her Met, and she would soon lose her home. Karma couldn't fight anymore. She buried her face in her hands and began to sob uncontrollably.

Jazzman stared intently out the forward window, hoping that somehow Yoshi's Island would be miraculously saved from the wrath of the Crusher's crazed commander. There was no one between Roy and the Island now, and Roy was only a mile or two off it. He was practically in firing range.

Jazzman's heart sank as he strained his eyes to see the main cannon of the Crusher extending. He despaired all the more when he thought of all the mighty vessel's remaining cannons that he couldn't see. This was it, he knew it. In a few short moments Yoshi's Island would be reduced to a flaming cinder. He couldn't watch, he just couldn't. He gritted his teeth and looked

away.

"Just a few more seconds," he mourned, "just a few more seconds, just a few-"

There was a growing roar, followed by the sizzle of burning air as an energy weapon discharged, and finally a deafening BOOM! Jazzman's knees gave way as the thought of so many dead friends forced its weight upon him like a Thwomp had suddenly fallen onto his shoulders. Jazzman turned slowly back toward the forward window in time to see...

... "What?!" he wondered aloud at the sight of Crusher, its engines ablaze, spiraling headlong toward the wreck of Bowser's Doomship. Had it not been for his bewilderment at the sight, Jazzman would have laughed at the irony, but as it happened he didn't even notice. Jazzman began to go over the events of the last few moments in his mind when realization slowly came over

him. "Of course," he whispered, grinning. "It's gotta be him!"

One glistening, solid gold eye and its koopish counterpart peered out from behind their owner's cover in the bushes Yoshi's Island. "That," the owner rumbled, "was a Koopaaaa dooooooomship. It would appearrrrrrrr that Bowserrrrrrrrrrrrrr is still onnnn the thrrronnnne, orr they would not attack an undefended Island. Therrrrrrre issssssssss noo honorrrrr in it."

"You can't be sure that it's Bowser," corrected his companion, a tiny blue Yoshi, "Remember that the Koopas have not always shared your sense of honor."

The larger speaker clenched his fists. "That iss trrrrrue," he thundered, "and since that isss trrrrrrrue, I must see forrrrrr myself how things arrrrrrrrre on the mainland. I must seeeeeeee if my peopllllllllllle have

turrrrrned theirrrrrrrr backs on Bowserrrrrrrrrrrr's pathetic ideals, orrrrrrrr if they arre still mindless sheep."

The Yoshi looked up at his companion. "Then what will you do, Monstro, if they are still sheep as you say?"

Monstro narrowed his one good eye. "Then if it happenssssss that they do rrrrrrrrremember Bowserrrrrrr and hiss waysssss..." a great gray arm reached out of the bushes, lifted a tree from its roots and shattered it in its mighty grip. "then I will ensurrre that theeey rrrrrrrrememberrrrrrrrr

meeee as welllllll."

It was almost a full day before the four doomships had enough power to propel themselves through the water, at the orders of a most disgruntled Bowser, to a meeting location. When the ships had finally gathered, the four commanders assembled themselves in the conference room of the Amadeus.

"Where is he?" muttered Roy. "Bowser should be here by now."

"If it weren't for you and your brainless attack on our ships he wouldn't NEED to be here!" Karma rebuked.

"And if it weren't for you and your little rebellion, freak," Roy returned, "I wouldn'ta had ta shoot at ya! All I gotta do is tell Bowser the truth about what you were all fixing to do out here and he'll have all three of ya thrown in the magma pits." Roy grinned his toothy grin.

Ludwig was perfectly calm as he responded, "And all I have to do is inform him that you fired on three doomships instead of attempting to capture them, standard procedure when an airship falls under rebel control, and he will do the same to you."

Roy's grin faded, but before he could think of a reply the doors slid open and Bowser stormed in in a fiery rage.

"What I want to know, Roy," he snarled, "is exactly what happened out here. I sent three doomships to attack an undefended Island, and FOUR turned up crippled off that island's shore! I want some answers here!"

Roy's mind raced. He hadn't thought that Bowser would be angry at HIM for following the three ships. "I... heard a... a distress call from Amadeus. The squadron was under attack by..." he recalled the mysterious discharge that had crippled his own vessel, "a plasma cannon, and it came from Yoshi's Island."

Bowser narrowed his eyes. "A plasma cannon?" he questioned slowly. "Where did the Yoshies get the kind of magic and technology that would require?!"

He turned slowly toward Ludwig. "Baron, I want to hear your side of this story. What in Morton's name happened?"

Ludwig afforded a quick glance at Roy, who looked back pleadingly. "He is correct," Ludwig lied, causing Karma and Jazzman's jaws to drop to the floor in shock. "We were assaulted by a plasma weapon of unknown origin, apparently fired from somewhere on Yoshi's Island. All three ships in the squadron were

crippled, and we relayed an emergency distress beacon. It was to our good fortune that Roy had the foresight to follow us here in case we required assistance, because had he not, no other ship could have come to our aid. Unfortunately, the Crusher was attacked upon its arrival by the same assailant that had ambushed us."

Bowser stood still for a moment, as if trying to decide if he trusted his two sons more than his instincts. "If what you have said is true," he said after a moment, "then the Yoshies have gained considerable power."

"Then maybe it would be a good idea to have them on our side, daddy-o," chimed in Jazzman. "I mean, we don't wanna fight against that!"

Bowser glared at Jazzman, but made no reply. "I'll be returning to base shortly," he explained. "When I get there I'll send four towships to take you back. I don't want four more vessels wrecked out here." As an afterthought, he added, "Or three sons marooned in enemy territory." With that he snapped his fingers and disappeared in a flash of fire.

Roy stood, dumbfounded for a moment, and stared at Ludwig. "Why?" he asked. "Why are you helping these two? What are they to you?"

"Loyalty, dear brother," Ludwig responded tersely, "loyalty."

Roy stood speechless for a moment, then turned to go back to his ship.

"What I want to know, Ludwig," Karma asked a little angrily, "is why did you lie to protect that slimeball?"

Ludwig looked back. "Had I told the truth, he would have been executed, but we all three would have as well. Would you rather have me lie to incriminate him?"

"I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate to return THAT favor!" Karma answered.

"No, but it is a matter of loyalty"


	6. Love is acceptence part 1

Story #7: Meeting

7a: Love is acceptance

"All right you cruddy engine, what's the problem?" Ludwig growled through clenched teeth as he bent over to fumble with the hatch on his latest invention, tentatively named "the transmogrifier" after a device he'd seen in one of Iggy's comics for lack of a better title. The initial startup had gone exactly as planned, but immediately afterward, the device had begun to sputter and issue foul black smoke from its vents.

A black jet of oil spurted over his claws as he wrenched it open, making him recoil a little. Somehow, the oil gauge had burst, spattering everything inside of the transmogrifier's casing and turning it into a grimy mess. He sighed deeply, wiping his hand on his shell, leaving a trail of black residue on its smooth green surface. He had spent all morning attempting to work the bugs out of it and now it was beyond repair. Six hours of work shot full of holes.

He had assumed that it was out of its testing phase after he had successfully transformed a Blooper into a Goomba earlier that morning, but apparently the strain of attempting to turn a Monty Mole into a Reznor had been too much for it to handle. The subject in question, charred and dripping with oil, emerged from the main hatch squeaking irately. Ludwig regarded the mole angrily before reaching for a mallet he ordinarily used to pound pegs into place.

Apparently taking the "subtle" hint, the creature gave a startled chirp and dove at the floor, quickly working a tile up and out of the way. Its immense claws made short work of the concrete as it burrowed out of sight, leaving the eldest Koopaling to glare at the newly-formed void in his floor before sighing and carefully replacing the tile. Satisfied that it had hidden the damage, he next turned and gathered up the ruined husk of his latest work. As he gingerly set it into the wastepaper bin beside his work table as though he were laying a loved one to rest in an open grave, he made a mental note to himself that from now on, he would properly sedate all of his test subjects beforehand.

Ludwig looked down at the wreckage in disgust. It had been this way all week, he'd found. No matter how careful and intricate his plans were, there was always something glaringly wrong with the design that he was managing to overlook... like something was purposely sabataging everything he attempted. That, or else he was entering another slump. He growled at the thought, remembering the last time he'd gone through a period like this. It had been nearly a month before he'd been able to shove the mental block aside and continue his projects as scheduled, and he wasn't relishing the idea of having to tolerate another.

"How's the inventin' coming, Kooky?" a high-pitched voice inquired. Ludwig flinched at his rather-disliked nickname and turned to see his brother, Lemmy, bobble into the room as he perched atop a ball. The younger Koopa brought the sphere to a neat halt, pinwheeling his arms a bit for balance as he surveyed the mess. "Didn't turn out so good, huh?" he asked, regarding his older brother inquisitively, a few wisps of his rainbow hair falling over his eyes as he listed forward to keep his barings atop the ball.

"Brilliant deduction, Holmes," he replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Don't you have someone else to bother?"

"Nope... just tryin' to stay out of Roy's way for a while. He's had it in for me ever since I used up the last of the milk on my cereal this morning," the younger Koopaling explained, shifting his balance to one foot atop his perch. "Need any help?"

Ludwig, however, failed to respond to his sibling's query as he threw open a well-worn leather-bound book that he kept stored beneath his workbench and began to leaf through it fervently. Lemmy watched for a moment, hoping his question might be answered. "Kooky...?" he tried again.

"I'm fine," his older brother snapped, turning another page. "I can't be bothered right now." The younger Koopaling cocked his head curiously before shrugging, deciding his older brother was going to provide less-than-adequate conversation. With practiced ease, he performed a reversal on his ball and guided it out of the room, leaving Ludwig to his own devices.

The eldest Koopaling's eyes scanned his various notes and scribbles without actually reading the words as he still recovered from the sudden loss of the transmogrifier. He'd had such high hopes for it... oh well, such was the life of an inventor, he thought sourly. And the only thing to do when faced with a loss was to get wrapped up in another project as quickly as possible and hoped that it worked out for you.

The book in question contained notes from both devices he had brainstormed but hadn't actually made an attempt to construct, and notes from inventions that he had tried at some point to bring into creation and had failed due to an error in the blueprints. No matter how ludicrous the notion or farfetched the design, they were all here. He'd found that even the ridiculous was worth a try sometimes - it could even prove successful if given the right situation.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash in the hallway. Ludwig jolted to attention as the deep-throated and unmistakable voice of his brother Roy began to bellow at the top of its lungs. "HEY PINHEAD! WHY DONTCHA WATCH WHERE I'M GOIN'?!"

"Sorry, Bully! I didn't see you!" Lemmy's voice squealed in reply.

"Why dontcha learn to walk, you freak?" The pleasantry was followed by the sounds of a scuffle, followed shortly by a sharp POP that was tailed by Lemmy's outraged cry.

"You didn't have to pop my ball! Why'd you do that?!" Lemmy demanded.

"Cuz I can. Now MOVE IT!" There was a muffled tonk followed by Lemmy grunting - sounding not unlike he had just hit the wall. Silence followed.

Satisfied that his siblings were done bickering, Ludwig returned his attention to the book only to note with much distaste that he had torn the page he had held between his thumb and forefinger when the noise outside of his room had startled him. It wasn't a bad tear and could easily be repaired with a bit of paste, but nonetheless, it angered him as it was yet another unneeded annoyance to throw on top of the already-huge stack he'd amounted that day.

Rolling his eyes, he slammed the cover shut and tucked it under his arm. He had every intent of storming into the hallway and clobbering both Roy and Lemmy with it, but forced himself to pause. No... that wasn't going to solve anything and he was well aware of it. At best, if one of them decided, in a fit of immaturity, to tattle, he'd find himself in the dungeon for the afternoon and that would make getting back on track rather difficult. However, being the oldest and faced with the constant annoyance of being expected to be the most mature, he was sure it would be more severe of a punishment. He'd be lucky to see the light of day again by the end of the week.

Mulling things over in his head, he cast a quick glance at the window. The sun was shining brightly (as brightly as it got for Dark Land, that is) and it looked to be decent weather. He wasn't much for going outdoors unless he needed to collect test subjects, but given the circumstances...

Feh... why not?

Without further hesitation, Ludwig exited his laboratory, sweeping the door closed behind hims, and headed toward the stairs.

It was a very warm summer afternoon, Ludwig noted as he walked through the unkept grasses surrounding Bowser's castle and retreated to the woods bordering it, seeking a quiet place to sit and read. It had been awhile since he had last left Castle Koopa and he found that he was slightly bothered by the outdoor noises. Hidden in a tree, a Wiggler loudly chewed on its meal of leaves and Yoshi berries while from an unseen source, two Goombas loudly growled at each other, chattering away in their native tongue. He supposed it was better than having to listen to the dischordant screeching of his brothers and sister as he found a sturdy-looking tree to sit beneath and situated himself with his book in his lap. Pausing a moment to relish the near-silence, he opened it across his knees and tried to find where he had left off.

As he sifted through the pages, he paused on one in particular, remembering its conception early last year sometime. The Stoneshooter had been his attempt to upgrade the turret catapults so that they would be effective at both short-range and long-range distances. The blueprints had never gotten off the ground, unfortunately, before his attention had been pulled away from the project to tend to another of his father's requests.

Amid the general notes and concept sketches was a piece of paper he had folded over once and tucked into the book. Taking it out and unfolding it, he read in his own untidy handwriting: "Some modifications needed on support beam and thrust adjustment before initial production can begin." Upon re-reading his own words, he felt the gears of his mind begin to turn as interest in the project was reawakened. The initial plans had made the machine capable of launching stones and small minions, but if the power were upped to 8X and the diameter of the barrel were increased, it would make it a far deadlier weapon.

He traced a claw over the sketch he had done, pausing at the support beams. It was a gamble, but he was fairly sure that if he simply added an extra one rather than trying to reinforce the strength of the two he'd already planned the placement of, it would definitely save effort... likely a lot of time too.

"NO! Jumper, you stonehead!" someone cried. The Koopaling jolted, hearing the harsh purring sound as his claw skittered forward, opening a jagged rift in the page he'd been looking at. In sheer frustration, he threw the book aside and looked about himself for the guilty party. The voice hadn't sounded immediately familiar, but he was almost sure it had been one of his younger brothers, Larry or Iggy most likely. The bottom line was, whoever it had been now had what nobody in their right mind wanted - Ludwig's undivided attention.

Overhead, the higher boughs of the tree he had chosen to sit beneath began to rattle violently, followed shortly by a loud snap and a shriek. Before he had time to fathom what was going on, a blur of green and purple had tumbled directly into his lap.

GAH!" he cried, scuttling backwards away from whatever it was. Before him, in a rumpled heap sat a... well... a creature. He watched, transfixed, as it regained its feet and brushed the leaves off of its backside.

"You're more trouble than you're worth, ya know it?!" it screeched up into the tree in a shrill voice at an invisible source. Deciding the intruder, despite its freakish appearance, was a female, Ludwig recovered from the shock he'd been given and ventured forward, narrowing his eyes in dislike. "And just who are you?!" he demanded, putting on as authoritative of a voice as he could muster. The stranger paused, looking at him and quirking a brow.

"Come again?"

"Who are you?" he asked again, growing irritated. "What are you doing in King Koopa's territory?" The two regarded one another in silence for a long moment before the stranger set her jaw defiantly.

"Bakin' brownies, what does it look like?" she growled. Ignoring her smart-alec statement, Ludwig took a long look at her, still trying to decide what she was. She had the head, body, and tail of a green Yoshi, but wore studded wrist-braces and had an indigo shell that glistened with a pearly luster and was crowned with five spikes. Atop her head was a mane of unruly raven hair that had been pulled back with a bit of pink ribbon in an unkept ponytail. It was as though someone had pulled apart a Yoshi and Koopa and then constructed a single creature out of them with cruel hands, Ludwig thought with a slight shudder of revulsion.

"JUMPER! GET DOWN HERE!" she bellowed into the tree, ignoring Ludwig once more. There was a pause before a rather timid-looking Buzzy Beetle scampered down the bark of the tree and stopped at its owner's feet, making apologetic cooing noises.

"Do you realize I could have you executed for being a trespasser and-" Ludwig's threat was cut off as the odd girl grabbed up the beetle and thrust him into the eldest Koopaling's arms.

"Hold him a minute, would ya?" she told him. Ludwig flinched a little as the black creature struggled a bit in his grasp and the stranger disappeared up the tree again with the agility of a very strange-looking jaguar. A moment later, she returned with a backpack and what looked like a half-eaten toadstool sandwich. "Can't trust Beetles for anything," she sighed, shouldering the pack. "This little creep thought it would be funny to try and wake me up by hiding all my stuff," she added, pointing a clawed paw accusingly at Jumper.

"Bzzzzz..." it groaned, its body jerking as though it were sobbing.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed him away from Ludwig. "Well... thanks, guy. See ya," she said with a simple wave and turned to walk away.

"Hey!" he cried, making her whirl around to face him again. "You... never told me why you were here," he faltered, feeling strangely intimidated and pinned under her eyes, like she was some sort of predatory creature that would lunge at him at any moment.

"Are you deaf or just stupid?" she growled, allowing Jumper to scramble up onto her shoulder before putting her hands on her hips. "I just wanted to get my stuff back. It's not my fault this is King Koopa's turf," she shrugged. "Anyway... I'm outta here." Again, she turned to leave.

"Where are you from? What are you?" he asked, taking a tentative step toward her as she, again, stopped and looked over her shoulder curiously at him.

"You from the Mushroom Gazette or something?" she asked, eyeing him skeptically. "An interview'll cost ya," she added sarcastically.

"You look-" he racked his brain for the right word, "you look weird." He instantly wished he had thought of his summation of her appearance a little harder as the girl's eyes sparked with instant rage when the word left his jaws.

"ExCUSE me?" she asked angrily, whirling fully to face him. "Weird? Have ya taken a look in the mirror lately, Mr. I've-never-heard-of-a-hairbrush Snaggletoothed Fatbody?!" She poked a finger angrily at Ludwig's snout. "It's none of your friggin' business who I am or where I came from! Got it?!"

"No need to get violent about this..." he replied, rubbing at his snout where she had poked it. "I simply inquired-"

"Look, don't push yer luck, kiddo," she spat. Ludwig briefly mused about how she could call him "kiddo" when she was a head shorter and looked to be younger than he. But one thing was for certain, hhe was growing quickly tired of her attitude. It was one thing to trespass... truth be told, if she had been more apologetic about literally dropping in on him, he would have let her go without incident. However, it was another thing to trespass AND stoke the embers of his already-foul mood.

"You're a trespasser," he snapped.

"So I'm a trespasser," she parroted in a mocking tone, rolling her eyes. "That's twice you've gotten to use your special word of the day, care to try for three?"

"As such, this is a matter you will have to take up with my father, King Bowser Koopa," he continued, ignoring her previous statement.

"Psh... right. Okay. Whatever you say. I'll get right on that," she muttered, turning once again to leave and shaking her head as though she was overcome with disbelief that one being could possibly possess so much stupidity.

"If you don't cooperate, I'll take you by force!" Ludwig snarled, his irritation getting the better of him as he clenched his paws into fists and lifted one lip in a snarl. Apparently, he'd pushed the stranger's right button as she froze and then quickly performed an about-face, looking thoroughly angered.

"Fine. I'll take you on, sure. Let's go," she replied without hesitation, quickly unshouldering her backpack and drawing herself into a fighting stance. Jumper, deciding this would be a good place to make his exit, scuttled off of her shoulder and onto a tree stump nearby. "Well?!" she growled impatiently as Ludwig remained rooted where he was in disbelief for a moment, unable to believe that someone could be so brazen.

"If you'd just calm yourself, we wouldn't- UFF!" he grunted, his head rocking back on his neck as her knuckles connected with his jaw. He blinked in bewilderment, rubbing at the forming bruise there as he goggled at her. The stranger, however, was smiling as she cocked her arm back again, ready to deliver another punch and keeping a close eye on him both for open places to strike and signs that he might strike back.

"Come on..." she devilled, "Is that the best you can do?" She feigned another jab at his face and, as his paws went up reflexively to block it, she changed the direction of her blow. The wind left Ludwig's lungs in a hot rush as her fist buried itself in his belly. As he gave a barking cough and doubled over, she backed off a bit. "You're pathetic." she remarked stonily. "And you're one of Bowser's rug-monkeys? I'm surprised he even claims you... I'd keep ya locked up in a basement someplace."

He coughed again as she, deciding he wouldn't pose any further of a threat, turned away and bent over to collect her backpack. "Idiot..." she muttered to herself, taking a moment to unzip the front compartment to take a quick assessment of what Jumper had gotten into since he'd stolen her bag

I wasn't ready," he muttered, indignant and embarrassed as he lifted his head, angered to see that she was no longer even paying attention to him. Ludwig, admittantly, was not much for fighting. When it came to combat in his household with his siblings, it was usually limited to verbal conflict or wrestling. In the times it seemed as though it was going to come to actual blows, he was usually able to defend himself quite well with his advantage of size and ability to breathe fire before it got out of hand. Deciding he would exercise that particular ability now that he had the chance, he locked his eyes on the stranger's back, working his throat as his anger heated itself from a low simmer to a roiling boil.

A moment later, his abdominal muscles clenched and a solid flag of red-orange flame issued at the intruder from his jaws, engulfing her in their heat. He was aware of a startled cry amid the crackling of burning leaves and, beneath the smokey scent of singed foliage, was certain he could make out the acrid smell of burnt scales. The flames guttered out after a few seconds, and he stepped back, observing the damage.

The stranger had ducked fully into her shell, its purple surface blackened unevenly by the heat. Her backpack, or rather what was left of it, stood nearby in a twisted charred parody of what it once was. He waited, gratified when she finally began to withdraw. She looked thoroughly-shaken as she observed the smoldering remains of what had once been bushes surrounding her and then turned, examining a place on her tail where the scales appeared to have been burnt away completely, leaving angry red welts on the flesh beneath. Finally, her eyes wandered to her backpack which she stared at for a long moment, the bewildered look quickly turning to one of dark black hatred as though this has been the last straw.

As she jerked her head in Ludwig's direction, her eyes narrowed to slits as she got to her feet once more.

"You... you..." she stuttered, her face a mask of anger. In the time it took him to realize she had lunged at him, the stranger had knocked him to the ground, struggling to hold him there. Ludwig, having had much experience from fighting with his younger brothers, easily overthrew her and pinned her down, holding her wrists tightly. She struggled a moment and then grudgingly surrendered, breathing heavily and glaring at him with the single-minded intensity of the obsessed. Beneath him, he could feel her heart pounding with the speed of a hummingbird's wings and he found that, for a moment, he was truly afraid of letting her up. She looked, for all intents and purposes, like she honestly would tear him to pieces if she could move at the moment.

After what seemed an eternity, he felt her relax a bit and draw in a deep breath of resignation. "You've got me. Now what?" she grumbled acidly. Ludwig kept a wary eye on her before carefully heaving himself off of her, still tightly keeping her wrists pressed to the ground.

"That's for Father to decide," he informed her, pulling her to her feet.

"You can knock off the high-and-mighty bunk," she snapped, wincing as she regained her feet, her arms bent at an uncomfortable angle behind her. "You beat me, but that doesn't mean I'm afraid of you or your dad."

"I never said you had to be. I can only suggest." Ludwig growled in reply, feeling a bit better knowing that he had her properly restrained as he forceibly turned her in the direction of Castle Koopa, leading her in its direction. From his perch on the nearby stump, Jumper watched his owner being led away. For a moment, he squealed in protest and moved to follow but then stopped. Plit's underlings weren't known for their intellectual prowess, but even they knew when something wasn't worth pursuing. Giving a disheartened chirp, he scuttled off of the stump and into the undergrowth of the forest, in search of something to eat.

"What's your name?" Ludwig asked when they had walked a short distance and he was beginning to grow uncomfortable in the silence.

"None of your phracking business," she snarled. The response was his grip on her wrists tightening and sending a jolt of pain rattling up her forearms. "Karma," she winced. "My name's Karma."

"And what are you?" he asked.

"Only my hairdresser knows for sure," she countered sarcastically. He was tempted to give her wrists another twist, but managed to restrain himself as he looked her over again. Her appearance was just as alien to him as he'd found it a few moments ago when he'd laid eyes on her for the first time. His initial reaction was revulsion, but the scientist in him was intrigued by such an oddity.

"I'm a halfling, okay?" she told him impatiently.

"A halfling of what?"

"A Yoshi and a Koopa. It's a long story."

"A yoshi and a..." He trailed off, shocked. "That's disgusting!" he exclaimed, wrinkling his nose up in distaste. Up until then, he hadn't even fathomed that a Koopa would pair itself with a creature as lowly as a Yoshi, much less that a mutt offspring might result.

"Nobody asked you," she snorted. "And look, no offense, but your hands aren't exactly comfortable. If I told you I wasn't gonna run, would you ease up a little? You're hurting me," she told him. He hesitated and then loosened his fingers a bit, not bearing down on her wrists as he had been, but ready to clench his hands shut again if she tried to struggle. "And you never told me who YOU were," she added, sounding distracted as they crossed the castle's drawbridge and just wanting to keep the conversation going as a formality.

"Ludwig. Ludwig von Koopa," he informed her.

"Pfft... I'm sorry," she chuckled.

"For what?" he asked, irked at her reaction.

"That your parents were that uncreative." Behind her, she heard him growl faintly and felt somewhat gratified.

"I don't think you fully comprehend the position you're in," he told her.

"Oh I understand it just fine," she retorted. "You're dragging me inside to show off what you caught to your daddy just like a big boy in hopes you'll get a pat on the head. How hard is that to see?" She immediately yelped in pain as his hands bore down hard on her wrists again.

"Would you like to see how well you fight with a pair of broken arms?" he hissed.

"Not especially..." she winced, arching her back and trying to alleviate the pressure against her tendons and bones.

"Then shut it," he commanded. For a moment, she contemplated firing another comeback, but managed to keep a leash on herself. This guy may have looked geeky and chubby, but something told her he was also the sort who might make good on his threats. In reply to her silence, Ludwig eased his grip on her wrists again.

"So... this is Koopa Castle, huh?" she asked, her eyes skating over the drab gray of the walls and the highly-arched ceiling as he led her through the main corridor. Ludwig didn't reply, his eyes busily scanning the ajoining hallways in search of someone who might take Karma off his hands.

"You're going to have to stay in a holding cell for the time being, while we decide what's to be done with you," he informed her, seeing no available guards and sighing as he led her to a staircase that went beneath the castle. Podoboos sat atop torches, lighting the way as they began downward.

"Alright, Ludey, I'll bite. What do they usually do with intruders in this joint?" she asked, her voice echoing off of the walls as she chose her footing carefully, trying not to trip on the shadow-enfolded stairs.

"Ludwig," he corrected her impatiently. "It can be as simple as a warning or as severe as a beheading. It depends on Father's mood, so I would suggest you show utmost respect if you know what's good for you."

"What sort of odds do you think I have?"

"I wouldn't know. Nor would I care, frankly."

"Humor me," she pressed.

"My father hates Yoshis," he said firmly. "But being that you're only half-such, you may stand on more stable ground as far as he's concerned."

"Ah," she answered simply, already knowing just by listening to him that Ludwig was lying through his teeth just to shut her up.

"Where did you come from anyway?" he inquired, expecting more sarcasm.

"Used to be from Cookie Mountain," she answered with casualness that surprised him. "My tribe lived there."


	7. Love is acceptence part 2

Tribe?"

"Yeah... tribe? You know, me and my family and the rest of the Yoshis?" she explained as though she were talking for the benefit of a small child. "Everything was great and then some weird fat guy in red pants came through on some kinda quest. He wanted our help, and things just turned to chaos from there. There was a big scramble of people who wanted to help out and a bunch who didn't who went off into hiding. By the time the dust cleared, I had no idea where everybody went." She ended her tale with a shrug. "Looked for 'em for awhile, then gave up and just drifted around ever since. There's benefits to being half-Yoshi, you know... you can eat next to anything and stay alive."

"I'm not going to ask," Ludwig grumbled, feeling slightly ill.

"Good, because I wouldn't answer," she replied. "I've had to eat a few things I'm not exactly proud of."

"If I'd known there had been a nest of Yoshis on that rock when I still owned it, I would have increased my roving guard populus," he remarked distastefully.

"Owned what? Cookie Mountain?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at him curiously as they dismounted the staircase and meandered into a dank hallway where the torches were fewer and the atmosphere was generally miserable. He gave a nod. "Guess that makes sense. My dad was always complaining about how the kook who lived in that castle was always blowing stuff up or making music that sounded like someone had a weasel in a headlock," she laughed. Ludwig, however, wasn't amused as he stopped at the first vacant cell on the right and thrust the door open, shoving her inside as he roughly grabbed the iron ring of keys from where they hung on the wall.

Karma stumbled forward a few steps, looking behind herself in bewilderment as the door slammed shut with a resounding clang.

"See you around," Ludwig said briskly, fumbling with the lock.

"Yeah? Well you have a nice day too, jerk!" she snapped, grabbing up the nearest thing she could reach, a skull left over from a previous unfortunate inhabitant, and hurling it full force at her prison's door. It shattered upon impact against the bars, showering Ludwig in bone fragments. He squinted his eyes, sneezing as the dust invaded his nostrils, and then returned to his task of attempting to turn the key in the old iron lock.

At last, with an accepting click, it latched firmly and he backed off a few steps, favoring Karma with a venemous look before stalking back in the direction of the stairs, attempting to brush the remaining debris out of his hair.

The hybrid watched after his retreating back for a moment, glaring daggers as though she hoped the mere hatred in her stare would be enough to strike him dead. As she heard him begin to pad up the stairs she gave a roar of rage, slamming both fists against the bars, rewarded with only a slight "kwong" and an aching pain in her wrists. She glared at the door, rubbing at her forearms irritably for a moment before crossing her cell to the far wall and slumping against it.

This was NOT how she had wanted to spend her evening.

Having left a message with one of the guards to give to his father saying he had caught an intruder, Ludwig returned to his laboratory, nearly slipping and falling in the oil he hadn't cleaned up from before. He reached for a rag and began to mop it up, his mind recalling the hybrid with much resentment.

"Stupid female," he growled. It was bad enough that she was ill-tempered, but the fact that she turned his stomach to look at as well gave her NO redeeming qualities whatsoever. How DAD could have allowed such an abomination to be concieved, let alone live long enough to talk back, was an utter mystery to him. He had no doubt that Bowser would order her immediate execution upon seeing her, and that was perfectly fine as far as he was concerned.

Satisfied that he had cleaned the mess to the best of his ability, Ludwig deposited the oily rag in the trash where it fell with a wet plop against the casing of the failed transmogrifier. As he got to his feet again, moving to return to his workbench, a thought arose in his mind quite out of nowhere. She's been wandering around in the wilderness for DAD-only-knows how long. You should have just let her go and not given her such a hard time. The mental sentence made him feel a brief stab of pity for the strange creature before he angrily shook it off. He didn't care. There were plenty of places she could have gone and probably been taken in by at least one of them. It was her choice to wander around like a homeless waif and eventually end up in Dark Land.

However, a feeling of guilt that was completely unbecoming to him had begun to take hold and settle in, making him feel uncomfortable and unable to erase Karma from his mind. Frustrated at his sudden one-trackedness he quickly looked for something to occupy himself with.

Go let her out.

'Shut up,' he thought directly, trying to clear his head of the alien notion of compassion. He wondered, idly, if this was what the ever-fabled "love at first sight" felt like and immediately pushed it out of hand. It couldn't be love because frankly, he didn't even remotely LIKE her. That was the long and short of it - he found her a repulsive and trollish monster and was glad she was locked in the dungeon where she belonged. It would be a relief when she was handed her execution sentence as well, he thought bitterly, so why in Plit's name should he feel guilty?

Simply, he told himself, he shouldn't. And furthermore, he went on to himself, he wouldn't. With that settled, he scanned his workbench, picking up the first thing he could get his claws on and examining it.

His father's birthday was coming up soon and it had been Ludwig's tradition, since about the age of twelve, that rather than buy Bowser something, he would make it instead. The devices varied from year to year, some of them functional and some of them not. This year, however, his invention was a fairly simple one. Due to his father's constant complaining that, in the time it took the kitchen staff to carry his coffee into the dining area, it was too cold to stomach, he was setting about crafting a mug that would keep its contents perpetually warmed. Unfortunately, its main drawback at the moment was that it made the mug too hot to handle as well. Deciding that sorting out that minor detail would be the perfect thing to playcate his mind, Ludwig set to work. "Where's that socket wrench?" he wondered aloud, sifting through the desktop's contents.

Even as he located the wrench and reached for it, he felt his stomach lurch as the greasy fingers of nausea began to wrap around the base of his throat. He blinked, bracing himself against the corner of his bench and counting slowly backward from one-hundred as he willed the feeling to pass. Slowly, he began to feel better, if somewhat confused. Usually when he was ill, the symptoms built on themselves gradually... this had come out of nowhere.

As the thought completed itself, a wave of dizziness overtook him, making him hold the table tighter for support as the room tilted and spun. Stumbling slightly, he squinted his eyes shut, concentrating on breathing deeply and evenly until that, as well, passed. He winced as his temples throbbed with an onsetting headache and took a staggering step backward.

Go see her, the strange voice spoke again.

"Not on your life," Ludwig grumbled, rubbing at his forehead as he cast a weary look across the laboratory. He had his own bed chamber upstairs with the rest of his siblings, but given that he spent so much time working in the laboratory, he had eventually coerced his parents into moving a spare bed into the far corner. They weren't exactly thrilled with the idea that it enabled Ludwig to hole himself up in the laboratory for days at a time, surfacing only to eat, but it ensured that he kept himself on a tight schedule, at the least.

The dizziness seemed to show no sign of loosening its hold anytime soon as he groaned and half-walked, half-stumbled across the laboratory where he collapsed on the mattress gratefully. A high-pitched whining awoke in his head as he closed his eyes, pulling the green quilt over himself and willing the odd sickness to pass as he drew his knees to his chest. The whine intensified, becoming a thrumming buzz that complimented his headache agonizingly as he clutched at his temples, whimpering softly. And then, as though someone had hit a switch deeply in his head, all traces of the symptoms suddenly vanished again, leaving Ludwig momentarily overcome with relief.

Somewhere between being grateful that it had passed and puzzling over what could have caused it, he slipped into a light and fitful slumber.

Karma, having resigned herself to her fate, sat in the corner of her dungeon cell, staring blankly off into space. She'd spent a good hour pacing every square inch of the small enclosure and searching the walls for even the slightest of faults or cracks she might have used to her advantage. Nothing... not even a loose stone. When she'd grown exhausted trying to be logical, she'd spent her remaining energy in the throes of a rage, cursing at the top of her voice and lunging at the barred door, rattling it with all of her might.

With the exception of producing some noise, she'd accomplished nothing and had eventually sagged to the floor in a state of exhaustion. After she had recovered, she'd scooted herself up against the wall, propping her back into the nook of the far-right corner which was where she had remained since. The hybrid had decided long ago that she was the only person currently residing in Castle Koopa's dungeon as, before her voice had given out, her yelling hadn't brought an answer of any sort, save for her own outraged shrieks echoing back at her.

As she'd sat, getting ahold of herself, her thoughts wandered back to Ludwig. Him... it was his fault she was here, she thought spitefully. If she'd known that he'd have taken things this far, she would have left while she'd still had the chance instead of even bothering to indulge his questions. Better yet, she would have done a better job of pummelling him into submission.

"Would you like to see how well you fight with a pair of broken arms?" she growled in a mocking voice, imitating his threat from earlier when he'd still had a hold on her wrists. "Like to see how well you ask stupid questions with a mouthful of broken teeth, you ugly jerk?" The threat, though it felt good to make, was an empty one and did nothing to comfort her as she sighed deeply, the tip of her tail lashing in frustration.

The dankness of the cell was beginning to creep into her bones, making her feel cramped and chilly as she drew her knees to her chest, shivering a bit. Her rage, while it stoked her mind into a blazing inferno, did little to keep out the physical cold. So lost in her anger was she, that she didn't hear the sound of approaching footfall, nor did she notice as someone paused outside of her prison until she heard the stout Sledge Brother clear his throat, shaking her out of her angry reverie. For a moment, they regarded one another in silence as he gave her a long scrutenizing look.

"Heh... what're YOU supposed to be?" he asked snidely. Karma only glared back, deciding she'd gotten in enough trouble for one day by answering questions for strangers. And she was fairly sure she knew this type pretty well... ugly, brawny, and pea-brained. He'd taunt her for awhile if she let him, and then if she talked back, he'd come in waving one of those stupid hammers of his and-

She jolted, hit with a sudden idea. It wasn't a very good idea, per-sey, but if this guy was anywhere near as dumb as he looked, it was most definitely worth a shot. Rolling her eyes dramatically, Karma pressed a paw to her belly and groaned loudly, pretending for all she was worth that she had suddenly been seized by debilitating pain.

"Hurts..." she grunted, rolling onto her side and curling up, trembling. "Mnnh..."

"Hurts, huh?" the guard smirked knowingly, well-accustomed to prisoners inventing illnesses in an attempt to escape. "Sorry t'hear that. Maybe if ya'd put half the effort into not getting caught that you're puttin' into that fakin' you're doing, you wouldn't have that problem."

Realizing with some annoyance that he was going to be a hard sell, Karma upped the stakes a bit. "Doctor..." she wheezed, making a great show of rolling over to face him, as though it had taken all of her strength. "M'sick... I need to see a do..." The hybrid purposely let her voice trail off as she rolled her eyes back into her head and began to shake spastically. She thrashed and twitched until she felt dizzy and then laid dormantly, trembling and wheezing.

"Yeah right, and as soon as I open that door to check on ya, you'll run, right?" the guard growled.

'Drat!' she thought to herself, but remained motionless as she hoped she might still have a chance. She didn't know how long she laid there, careful to keep her eyes focused vacantly into nowhere in her false catatonia as the guard stood outside, observing her carefully and debating. On the one hand, it would be all-around safer to leave her where she was. If she was faking, the last thing he needed was to give her a means of escape, but if she wasn't then he faced a new problem entirely. King Koopa was rather adament about getting to individually torment prisoners as he saw fit and he had very little patience for them mysteriously meeting their demise before he had a chance to get to them. And one thing that he had learned since he had come under Bowser's employ, was that underlings were ALWAYS expendable.

Sighing as he made his decision, he fetched the ring of keys from his belt and fumbled one into the cell's door. As it creaked open, he kept a careful eye on the hybrid, but she made no show of moving. He edged toward her, holding a hammer at the ready in case she made a sudden break for it, pausing when he stood directly over her.

"Ugh..." he remarked, getting a good look at her as he stooped at her side, making a cursory check of her pulse and breathing. "Hope you got personality because there isn't enough Yoshiberry wine on Plit to drink the ugly off of you." Karma fought against a growl at the statement as he shoved a hand beneath her, hefting her up and over one of his shoulders. The hybrid focused on remaining bonelessly limp as he adjusted his grip on her as though she were a sack of potatoes and then lumbered out of the cell, carrying her down the hallway.

Karma felt herself being carried up the stairs a moment later, being jostled quite rudely in the process. 'Watch the bumps, big guy,' she thought to herself. 'I'm not made of rubber, y'know.' She breathed a nearly-unnoticable sigh of relief as they reached the top of the stairs and continued on their way to whereever the guard was now taking her.

There was the sound of a latch opening and a gentle breeze that smelled faintly of rubbing alcohol as they entered another room. "Oh dear! No more patients, I simply can't take anymore patients today!" a male voice protested.

"Sorry doc, but I think it might be serious. She ain't movin' or nuttin." Karma bit back a whuff of discomfort as she was dropped onto a cold, flat slab of some sort.

"No, I'm putting my foot down! I have a very important seminar I must attend and- Oh dear me, who is this?" the voice asked, its tone shifting from petulant protest to sudden interest.

"Prisoner," the guard replied without much interest. "She pitched a fit down in the dungeon and I thought I'd better play it safe since the King ain't met'er yet."

"Dear me," he said again. "I've never seen anything like this one..."

"Thank DAD for small favors, eh?" the guard chortled. Karma made a mental note that if she managed to get out of this fiasco alive, the first thing she'd do was hunt down this particular moron and rearrange the geography of his face. A caress, cold and unsettling to the touch, brushed over her cheek.

"Hrmmm..." the other's voice murmured, quite close to her. The same strange touch invaded one of her eyes, pulling back a lid and giving her a brief glimpse of something cloudy and gray. "No pupil dilation... heartbeat is normal... are you sure something's wrong with this one?"

"Look, I've seen enough fakes to know better, alright?" the Sledge Brother said defensively. "This one was keeled over on her side shakin' and gurglin' like she was gonna die. YOU'RE the doctor here, not me."

"Yes, and as a doctor I'm saying that I don't see much abnormal with her... so either we're dealing with a rather good actor here or there's something I'm missing."

"I gotta get back to my post. If King Koopa catches me here, he'll have a bird," the guard replied irately. "Just give'er a once-over, fix 'er up, and send for me when you're done."

"But-"

The protest was cut off as a door sharply closed. There was a moment of silence and then a deep sigh. "I am NOT missing my meeting for this," the stranger's voice huffed. Karma, befuddled by the lack of footsteps, cautiously opened one eye. Hovering a short distance away, his back turned to her, was a large Boo Diddly, a pen tucked up in the viscinity of where his ear should have been and decked out in a small labcoat that fit his form perfectly. He was sifting through a cupboard that contained an enormous array of bottles and vials as he muttered angrily to himself. "Crisis this, emergency that..." he grumped, finding what he was looking for and gently closing the cabinet as he turned, working the cork out of a small bottle. "No one ever worries if I have something that needs doing..."

As he neared, Karma quickly closed her eye again, hoping she hadn't been noticed. She repressed a shudder as the cold grasp from before settled over the back of her neck, pulling her forward slightly. Suddenly, a powerful and horribly sour smell assaulted her nose, making her gasp and her eyes fly open as they immediately began to water. Karma recoiled slightly, embarrassed to see the small bottle of smelling salts being held closeby.

"Just as I thought," the Boo said knowingly, with some exasperation. "You put on a good show, young lady, but you're going to have to do better than that if you want to pull the wool over these eyes."

"Fine..." Karma sighed, realizing that any semblance of a plan she'd had to escape was now thwarted. "So now what?"

"Now you get back to where you belong and I get to where I'm expected," he informed her as he hovered toward a small intercom unit, punching the button. "Number 24463, please report to the west medical ward for an outgoing," he said clearly into the reciever before releasing the button. "You'll excuse me if I'm a bit brisk, but I really MUST be going now," the Boo informed her. "Your guard will be with you shortly, wait here." And, saying so, the Boo faded from sight completely, leaving her by herself in the small and cluttered office.

"Fat chance," Karma growled, rolling over and scooting off of the examination table. As she landed on the floor, she found herself suddenly overcome with chills as she shuddered, rubbing at her upper arms to warm herself as she cast a cursory look about herself at her surroundings. Lining the walls were anatomy charts of various underlings, Koopas, and two framed medical degrees. A florescent light panel hummed nearby, X-rays still on it, and beside it was the door.

She stood regarding it for a long moment, the chills relenting only to be replaced by uncomfortable stomach spasms. Oddly enough, as the annoyance of the symptoms took place, her mind seemed to be focused on Ludwig. 'Figures...' she thought spitefully, rubbing at her belly and wincing. 'Guess I would rank him about as high as a bad case of gas...'

Realizing that, by now, the guard was likely well on his way to collect her, she forced herself to ignore the discomfort in her abdomen and moved toward the door, trying the knob and mildly surprised to find it unlocked as she eased it open. After satisfying herself that the Sledge Brother was nowhere to be seen, she quickly ducked into the hallway, keeping to the shadows as much as she could to avoid being seen as she moved.

At last, she found cover behind a suit of armor that had been put up for display and crouched behind it, collecting her scattered wits as she planned her next move. She was obviously at the disadvantage, she knew. She had no idea where she was going, how to get there, or what she planned on doing once she reached it. To top it off, the odds of running into a guard or, black horror, Bowser or one of his brats, were uncomfortably high. Therefore, she decided, she would just have to be incredibly careful until she managed to find the exit.

Her first order of business, she decided, would be to find somewhere better to hide until she had a better idea of where she was going. Her eyes skated the hallway, falling on a doorway that loomed across from her and slightly to the left. There could have been anything behind there, she mused. With any luck it would be a storage closet that she could lurk in until night fell and then creep off in the dark.

'Probably the conference room... and its probably full of Bowser and his extended family as we speak,' her mind chided her. 'Stay where you are.'

"Yeah, you can sit on that idea..." she grumbled in reply. True, the armor concealed her for now, but once the alert got out that there was a prisoner on the loose, it wouldn't be effective for very long. Deciding that taking a chance, in the end, would be better than being a sitting duck, she cast a wary look around before darting across the hallway and pausing a moment to listen at the door.

Silence. Good.

Wrapping a paw around the doorknob, she turned it and eased herself through the threshold, closing it softly behind her. Satisfied that she had not been noticed, Karma leaned back against the door and heaved a loud sigh of relief. "'Bout TIME something went my way..." she announced to no one in particular as she examined her new surroundings, absently rubbing at her belly where the cramps, momentarily subdued by the rush of adrenaline she'd experienced while in hiding, began to settle in again. She appeared to be in a laboratory of some sort, she concluded. Before her was a large workbench, littered with tools and various parts of machinery. There appeared, also, to be several unfinished devices that she had never seen before as she quirked a brow and ventured forward, picking up the one nearest to her and turning it over in her grasp.

If a can opener and an electric shaver were able to have a child, she mused, this was what it would look like. As she pressed the red button on its side curiously, it gave off a high-pitched drone before hissing and emitting a shower of sparks as she cried out and dropped it. Cripes, she wondered, what sort of kook would waste his time putting together junk like this that didn't even work?!

As though in answer to her question, nearby she heard something shift its position with a soft rustling noise. Karma froze, eyes snapping wide open as it dawned on her that she was not alone. Whirling in the direction of the sound, she realized for the first time that, not only was this room a laboratory but it seemed to be doubling as a makeshift bedroom for someone. And that particular someone was currently occupying it, to complicate things.

A moment of awkward silence passed before the sound of deep breathing issued from somewhere off to the left, making her relax a bit. Whoever it was, thankfully, was sleeping from the sound of it. Still... who in their right mind would want to shack up in a laboratory of all places? It wasn't exactly the most comforting place to sleep, she thought distastefully, casting a sweeping look at the beakers of stagnant liquids, the cupboards that contained vials and jars of various acids and bases, and the immeasurable amount of machinery that was arranged haphazardly, some of it functional and some of it not. It would be like waking up to some horrible B-rated science fiction movie every morning, she mused.

Her curiousity getting the better of her, Karma edged forward, careful not to make a sound as she neared the bed. When the head of it came into view, she drew in a gasp and scrambled backward, nearly knocking into the table behind her as she saw Ludwig curled up on his belly and sleeping soundly. When the initial shock of seeing her earlier tormentor had passed, she found herself left with annoyance and anger. It was so deliciously ironic, she thought seethingly, that this was the one person on the face of Plit that she would have moved the heavens AND underlands to get away from, and yet it was like some unseen force had drawn her back to him.

As she glared at the eldest Koopaling, he listed onto his side, the covers slipping off of his shoulders as he let his breath out in a sigh. The hybrid noted, as she watched him, that her left hand had curled itself tightly into a fist and that her claws were currently threatening to punch into the ball of her thumb. She wanted, very badly, to attack him and find closure from their fight earlier through a swift defeat with an unfair advantage on her end. It would be gratifying to pay him back for the insults, the threats, the time in the dungeon, the stomach cramps, the- but then, as the thought crossed her mind, she realized that the cramps were gone. In fact, she felt good. Too good to hold onto her homicidal thoughts.

With aching slowness, she managed to unclench the fist she'd been making and drew in a deep sigh as she continued to stare at Ludwig for a moment. It was criminal how innocent he looked when he slept, given what a jerk he could be when he was awake, she thought half-heartedly.

Oh well... No sense in letting him prove that point if he wakes up and catches me standing here...

With that, she turned to leave the laboratory and locate a more obscure hiding place. She hadn't gone three steps when, as though they had never left, her stomach cramps flared again with doubled ferocity.

Stay, an alien mental presense spoke, startling her. Choosing to ignore it, she continued to the door, finding that with each step she took, the pain grew worse until, as she reached for the doorknob, she was nearly doubled-over in agony. Confused and frustrated, she retreated from the door, back in the direction she'd come. As she drew nearer to Ludwig, the feelings faded and dissipated completely.

Great... Apparently, to add to her list of inconveniencies, now there was some sort of tractor beam between her and Whatshisface von Koopa. As she crossed her arms over her chest, setting her jaw in annoyance at this latest development, her mind twinged with remembrance... something she'd been told about in the past that would explain all of this...

But even as a clearer mental picture began to form, she pushed it out of hand. No... she refused to believe she could be that unlucky as she sighed and padded nearer to the bed, puzzling over what to do next since, apparently, she couldn't leave. She wondered idly if anybody had noticed her missing yet... or if they'd even think to look for her if she were to hide here for a bit longer. Hide... sure, but where? The bed was set too low to the ground to squeeze under and she didn't trust any of the machinery enough that she thought she might be able to lurk safely behind it.

As she mulled it over in her head, she yawned a bit. It occurred to her for the first time, now that she had a moment to actually consider it, that she was exhausted, both mentally and physically. Her interrupted nap, followed immediately by the current fiasco, hadn't helped matters much, she supposed. Her gaze settled on the bed Ludwig was occupying and it occurred to her that there was easily room for another person therein.

"No," she whispered to nobody in particular. "THAT is where I draw the line."

On cue, the tired sensation increased itself, as though forcing her not to have a choice. Blinking heavily and stifling another yawn, the idea of muscling into the bed with Ludwig was starting to look less and less repulsive. At length, her knees threatening to buckle, she made her decision.

"Shove over, pal," she said quietly, climbing in beside him and wriggling under the blanket into the pocket of warmth his body had created. He muttered something but didn't wake as she made herself comfortable. As she did so, an odd sense of completion filled her, bringing with it a sick realization as her twinges from earlier began to form complete thoughts and memories. Before they could take real substance, however, she had fallen asleep.


	8. Love is acceptence part 3

Nearly three hours had passed when Ludwig finally came awake, casting a bleary look at the travel alarm clock he'd placed on the bench beside the bed. Five-forty... his mother would be calling him out for dinner soon. Stretching and trying to put himself in more of an alert state, he sat up. He didn't feel rested - his mind had been far too busy plaguing him with odd dreams involving the hybrid in the dungeon for him to relax fully. As a minor relief, whatever seemed to have been ailing him earlier was no longer a problem. He felt fine now. He'd go so far as to say he felt better than he had in days, grogginess and all.

As he sat up, getting his barings back and summoning the energy to emerge from the laboratory to face his family, he felt something heavy list slightly beside him, jostling the mattress. Ludwig's eyes widened in surprise as he whipped his head in the direction of the odd intrusion, wondering who had invaded his laboratory while he'd slept. His first thought was that perhaps he hadn't closed the door to the laboratory fully and the family dog, Bagels, had decided to pay him a visit. While he preferred the laborador's company much more than he preferred even that of most of his family, he had extreme misgivings about letting her into his bed. The last time he had, after all, she'd just come in from an afternoon of cavorting in the courtyard's rain puddles and had all but ruined his sheets with her muddy paws.

No... it wasn't Bagels, he concluded as he regarded the hump beneath the quilt beside him with morbid curiousity. Well, then who in DAD's name...? Drawing in a breath, Ludwig extended a paw and gripped the hem of the quilt, hesitating only a moment before pulling it backward to reveal Karma's sleeping form beneath.

He gaped at her. It was all he could do, really, as he found himself utterly numb with shock and indignation. He was beyond screaming as he trembled with outrage. How had she gotten out of the dungeon? More importantly, what was she doing here? As it occurred to him that she had nestled herself closely up against him, the inner leash broke as a revolted cry issued from his throat. The hybrid awoke just as he was in the process of trying to scramble backward, succeeding mostly in tangling himself in the blanket and nearly toppling to the floor.

"What's got your tail in a knot, Poofball?" Karma demanded to know, not yet fully awake.

"You...!" he snapped, faltering a bit as he regarded her with a hunted expression.

"Yeah, me. So?" she growled, rubbing her eyes with the back of one paw.

"What are you doing here? How did you get out of the dungeon?!"

"You've REALLY gotta get some smarter guards," she remarked. "And believe me, the situation isn't exactly a treat for me either."

"Why are you here?" he asked again, enraged by her presense. Truthfully, he couldn't care less that she had managed to get out... what bothered him was that she had chosen, rather than taking her freedom, to come and further annoy him. To deepen this disturbance, there seemed to be a small part of him that didn't mind.

"Well, I tried to leave, but-"

"But nothing!" Ludwig roared, seizing the blanket and snatching it away from her so forcefully that she keeled over backward and hit the floor with a dull thud. A spattering of red stars momentarily dazzled Karma's vision as the back of her head came alive with a high, stinging pain. Tentatively, she ran a hand along the back of her skull, checking her fingers for blood. Seeing none, she sat up with her eyes blazing and lunged. Had Ludwig been expecting it, he easily would have overtaken her just as he had outside... but being that he hadn't, the force of the hybrid knocking into his chest tumbled him tail-over-applecart to the floor. In the time it took him to realize what had happened, he found himself hog-tied with his own bedsheets.

"Now listen..." she began, her tone low and dangerous. "I've got something I gotta explain to you and it'd be nice to do it without having to listen to you whine."

"Explain what?" the eldest Koopaling snorted, struggling in his bonds futilely.

"Why I haven't ditched your ugly mug for one..." Ludwig, seeming to realize that from the angle he was at he could get no leverage to help him escape, stilled and focused fully on her through hateful eyes. "Look... I tried to leave, okay?" she began. "I couldn't even get out the door. I got sick. You been feeling anything like that?"

"Yes. Sick of you," he said defiantly, receiving a swat across the forehead from the hybrid in return.

"I'm trying to be serious," she growled.

"I don't-"

"Have you been feeling sick? It's a yes or no question," she interrupted, speaking loudly to keep him from changing the subject. Ludwig blanched a bit, and then, under his breath, gave a reluctant answer.

"Yes," he grumbled.

"When?"

"I can't remember," he said dismissively, wondering what she was getting at.

"Was it after you dumped me in the dungeon?"

"What does this have to do with you still being here?!" he snarled, bearing his fangs. She regarded him coolly a moment and then began to speak.

"It's something my dad tried to explain to me a while ago... part of some halfwit 'birds and the bees' talk, I guess. I didn't get it at the time, but it's starting to make a little sense given the present situation. Ever heard of Meeting, Poofball?"

"Stop calling me that," he said irritatedly, beginning to struggle in the blankets again. He almost had a wrist free... from there, getting out the rest of the way would be easy.

"I guess it's something that doesn't happen too much anymore..." she continued, ignoring him. "Dad said it was some sort of weird force that pulled two Koopas together... tangled up their brains with each other, you know?"

"No. I don't," Ludwig grunted, straining against the fabric of the sheets as he realized one of his wristlets had snagged, complicating his escape. He was listening - he wasn't interested, but he was listening and he'd never heard of what she was talking about before. He certainly had never seen it mentioned in any of his books about the history or biology of his race.

"I guess a long time ago, all the Koopas were so caught up in a land war of some kind that they weren't getting married or having any kids... something like that," Karma explained. "Anyway, Meeting started happening and it started forcing people to settle down and have families."

"You can't force somebody to settle down and have a family," Ludwig argued, twisting a bit to the left. He was almost there...

"Yeah, well, this can." she replied off-handedly. He opened his mouth to argue but thought better of it, deciding to humor her for the moment. "It's like, even if you're not looking, your brain is... and when it sees somebody it likes and thinks you could have decent kids with, it forms this kind of bond with the other person."

"Mmhmm..." Ludwig murmured, beginning to wriggle his other wrist.

"And if you try to ignore the other person your brain likes, you start to get sick. REALLY sick. Some people die if they try to sweep it under the rug for too long." As she said so, Ludwig had finally loosened the knot around his wrists enough to pull both hands free as he toppled forward, narrowly avoiding landing on his face.

"So what you're saying, in other words, is that you think you and I...?" he began incredulously.

"I'm just saying it would explain a lot," she shrugged. "And trust me, this isn't my idea of a good time either."

"The power of coincidence must be lost on you," the eldest Koopaling sighed, shaking his head as he wrestled his ankles loose from the sheets. "And I, for one, have had enough of this nonsense," he added, getting back to his feet and drawing himself to his full height as he headed in the direction of the door.

"Where're you going?" Karma demanded.

"I'm calling the guards and alerting my father," he informed her matter-of-factly, pausing with his paw on the doorknob to glare at her, hoping to see some trace of fright as he made his threat. "And after that, with any luck, your execution will be pushed higher on the..." he trailed off, his head suddenly feeling like it was caught in a vice as his stomach roiled furiously, making him wince and clutch his belly in pain. Karma watched smugly as he staggered forward a few steps, lost his balance, and collapsed on the floor.

"STILL think it's coincidence?"

"Shut... up..." came the muffled reply as he shuddered in misery, waiting for the sickness to pass again. When it had more or less alleviated, he drew himself to his hands and knees, looking thoughtful before grudgingly turning to Karma. "How do we stop this?" he asked.

"I don't know..." she replied.

"What do you mean you don't know?!" he growled.

"Just like I said, I don't know!" she snapped. "Need me to spell it for ya? Get me a marker, I'll write it on your friggin' forehead!" Ludwig bristled in reply, feeling his frustration transforming itself back into rage. "And anyway, it doesn't look like it effects us just by being apart..." Karma relented, softening her tone a bit. "Just when we try to fight it."

"It would seem to me," Ludwig snapped, "that if this was done, it most certainly can be UNdone..."

"You'd think that," Karma sighed.

"And with as gracefully as you're taking this, I'm inclined to believe you planned it," he said suspiciously, making her jolt and favor him with an disbelieving look.

"Yeah... you got me there. I woke up this morning and decided I just REALLY wanted to have the world's ugliest anchor tied around my ankle for the rest of my life," the hybrid muttered angrily. "Don't flatter yourself, Poofball. I'm just exhausted... you can only throw so many fits in one day till you get to a point where you just don't care anymore."

"I said stop calling me that!" he ordered.

"What? Poofball? Then drag a brush across your head, you savage," she retorted, gesturing at his unruly mat of blue hair. Ludwig narrowed his eyes, looking like he would have lunged at her again, resparking another fight between them if Clawdia's voice hadn't interrupted him.

"Kids! Dinner!" her matronly voice reverberated down the hallway. Ludwig froze, debating, before easing off on his anger.

"This isn't over," he warned her. "I'm notifying the first guard I run into about your whereabouts."

"If I promise to look scared will you shut up with the threats?" Karma grumbled, rolling her eyes. Ludwig didn't answer as he stormed toward the door, pausing as he reached for the doorknob to see if he'd be hit with another wave of sickness. Seeming to have dodged the bullet this time, he opened it, passed through, and slammed it shut behind himself, leaving Karma in silence.

"If it's any consolation," the hybrid sighed, absently picking lint from one of the bedsheets "I don't want this either..."

Her father, a Koopa named Raymond, had been vague when describing the force known as Meeting to his daughter, but had told her enough. It was something that, as far as he knew, only affected Koopas and that it was a very rare occurance these days. It had come into being as DAD's answer to keeping them from dying out as a race, and when it was no longer needed, had ceased happening as often... almost entirely, in fact.

Karma closed her eyes, trying hard to reach back into the black velvet of her subconscious and remember what their discussion had consisted of.

"It bonds two Koopas together by their bodies and their souls... It doesn't matter how they feel about each other, either, and that's why some people called it 'The Curse'," he had told her. "It's something you HAVE to accept, even if you hate it. Your Met is someone who you end up having a spiritual obligation to for the rest of your life."

"So... what? You're like each other's life support system?" Karma, then twelve turns of age had asked.

"Essentially, yes. Mets pick up on and share each other's moods, sometimes if one is hurt badly the other can feel twinges of their pain, and it runs so deeply that if one were to die, the other would soon follow from the loss."

"What a load of bunk. How's spending the rest of your life with someone you hate but can't even kill supposed to help save a race? That'd start MORE fights!"

"Metbonds don't always mean that the couple hates each other," he'd tried to explain. "There's nothing stronger than a pair of Mets who've learned to love one another."

"Feh... If it ever happens to me, I'll go eat deathcap mushrooms till I pop."

"I wouldn't worry about it, Karma," Raymond had chuckled, giving her a brief hug. "The only case I've ever heard of happened between friends of your great-grandparents. And even then, I think they just liked to say they'd Met. With you being only half-Koopa, I'd say you could pretty much rule it out completely."

'Yeah... thanks a lot, Dad,' she grumped, shaking herself back to the present. She'd held out hope until the last possible minute that it had been something else, but all things considered there was really no other explanation for hers and Ludwig's symptoms.

But who knew? Maybe he was right... Maybe there was a way to undo what had been formed between the two of them. It wasn't as though, in their current state, she had to worry about anybody trying to kill her. That is, of course, unless Ludwig's family suddenly decided that having her around wasn't worth keeping him alive, and she severely doubted that, being that he was one of Bowser's brats. Terrorizing kingdoms, making off with princesses - those were things people eventually let settle into the past... But if word got out that Bowser was a child-killer... hoo boy.

"Hope you know what you're doing, Ludey..." she muttered, seating herself on the edge of the bed to wait.


	9. Love is acceptence part 4

p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"Dinner took place as it usually did in Castle Koopa. The silence was broken with occasional conversation, but for the most part, everyone focused fully on the transferrence of food from their plates to their mouths. a href="x-apple-data-detectors:/0"Tonight/a, the kitchen staff had prepared veal stroganoff which, apparently, was a hit with most of Bowser's family. Larry, the only resident vegetarian, contented himself by eating a salad in its place, but otherwise there had been no complaints./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"Ludwig found that, while he hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast, his appetite had left him as he sat at his usual place, aimlessly pushing the noodles and meat around his plate. He'd tried, twice, on his way down the hallway to flag down a guard and inform them of Karma's whereabouts, but both times he'd found that his throat had constricted itself to the size of a pinhole, disabling his speech and nearly his breathing. Was this really how it was going to be for the rest of his life? Not only was he doomed to constantly share it with a foul-tempered freak of nature, but every time he tried to rid himself of her, he'd find himself rolling on the floor in some form of pain?/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"He drew in his breath, heaving a sigh that filled every cavity of his chest as he looked up from his plate. His father sat not ten feet away from him, currently downing his fourth helping of dinner. Under normal circumstances he'd have wasted no time in informing him of the fact that he was harboring an intruder in his laboratory, but he was helplessly aware that it was not an option of his. Not with the current chokehold the Metbond had on his better sense, at least./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""HEY! I'm talking to YOU, mud-fer-brains!" Roy roared, prodding his older brother with his fork in the shoulder, shaking Ludwig out of his mental reverie and making him whip his head in his younger brother's direction. "Gimme that salt or I'm gonna cave yer face in!" Ludwig narrowed his eyes, obediently reaching for the salt shaker and then, with a flick of his paw, throwing it at Roy irritatedly./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Choke on it," the older Koopaling hissed as the shaker bounced off of Roy's plastron with a tonk, showering him in salt. Roy glared at Ludwig from behind his sunglasses with an expression of unbridled spite./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""So what's your problem, brainiac?" he threatened, retrieving the shaker from where it had settled in his lap, never removing his eyes from Ludwig./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Me. And in about three seconds, you're going to share in it," he snarled, half-hoping his brother would throw a punch so that he could take out his pent aggression on something. Roy, instead, quietly returned to his meal, deciding that the scuffle wasn't worth foregoing dinner as he resumed eating. Sighing in disgust, Ludwig folded his arms on the table and laid his head upon them, his mind still churning restlessly about his current situation./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Ludwig, dear...?" Clawdia's alto voice spoke up./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""What?" he asked dejectedly, not lifting his head./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Don't talk to your mother that way," Bowser grumbled, having just cleared his plate./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Are you feeling alright?" the Koopa Queen inquired, ignoring her husband as she cocked her head at a curious angle./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"Pall. "Well, I guess if you promise not to try and kill me or anything, we could always share..."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""I share with no one," Playful snorted./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Well, neither do I. And I think that's where the REAL problem lies," she retorted icily. The two regarded each other in silence for a long moment./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""You're aware, of course, that I could strike you down where you stand..." he said at last./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Right..." Karma nodded half-heartedly./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Cats are not expected to know magic," Playful explained, not seeming to care if she was listening or not anymore. "But then cats aren't expected to be able to read or speak, either. Before that horrid Wendy-child started complaining about my shredding the library, I managed to teach myself a thing or two. Namely about the ancient Deathstare."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""And lemme guess... Now's where you threaten to use it on me and I beg you not to, right?" the yoshikoopa inquired flatly. Playful faltered a bit, clearly having had the wind taken out of his sails./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Foolish creature..." he hissed, standing again and neatly hopping back onto the windowsill. "I've no time to waste on pathetic debates. We will discuss this later, you and I." Saying so, Playful leapt from the sill and outside. Karma, in spite of her acquired dislike for the cat, ran to the window to see where he'd landed. To her relief, she saw the black feline gracefully sliding down a nearby turret, using the vines and rough granite as enough friction to keep his fall slow and controlled. A moment later he had alighted safely in the grass and stalked gracefully out of sight./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"It led her to a question... was everybody in Castle Koopa just as obnoxious and hair-triggered as Ludwig? Feh... Ludwig. If nothing else the brief interlude with Playful had made her forget about THAT particular annoyance for awhile. She groaned and flopped onto the cot's thin mattress again, ignoring the metal rods of the frame as they dug into her shoulders./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"If she never saw him again, it would be too soon.../span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Karma?" Ludwig called, shoving the door open without bothering to knock. The hybrid remained where she was for a moment before rolling over with a casualness she didn't feel to glare at the eldest Koopaling./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""I'm going to give you a special something to work on today," she said snidely. "It's called 'your timing'."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Your company has been requested downstairs," he informed her, ignoring her previous statement./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""That's nice," she said disinterestedly. "As much as I'd love for your dad to try out his new chainsaw and hockey mask on my person, I think I'll stay where I am, thanks."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""This is important," Ludwig insisted. "There's a chance we can break this and I need to get you to Kamek so he can study you."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Study me... Heh, I'm a lab rat now?"/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Study both of us," he impatiently corrected, irritated by her lack of cooperation. "I don't think I'm guessing in my assumption that you'd like this to be over as much as I would."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Maybe... if it didn't mean that I was going to end up at the top of the 'maim and kill' roster. I'm not making excuses or anything, but try walking a mile in my shell."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Look, just follow me," he sighed, fighting the urge to grab her by the arm and haul her out of the room manually./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""I don't think so," she answered simply./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Karma..." he growled warningly, nearing the peak of his frustration. The hybrid remained stubbornly dormant on the cot. "Look..." he said through gritted fangs, ready to say anything just to get her to do what he asked. "I don't care WHAT you do after this bond is severed. For all I care, you can ransack the castle and make a run for it over the horizon. I won't stop you."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Give me one good reason," the hybrid challenged./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""I WANT MY LIFE BACK!" Ludwig yelled, his voice unnaturally loud in the enclosed space of the room. Karma seemed unrattled as she laid where she was a moment more before shrugging and sitting up./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Fair enough, I guess. Where're we going?" Ludwig relaxed a bit at her compliance as he opened the door, motioning her into the hallway./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""As I told you, downstairs," he replied, waiting until she'd joined him before sweeping the door closed. "With any luck this can be resolved within the hour."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""I wouldn't hold your breath," Karma muttered, already knowing he wasn't going to listen./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Just because something has gone unresearched doesn't make it incurable," he told her rationally. "There was a time when Koopas were dropping dead left and right from Ivory Fever, and it turned out that the cure was simply a three-day sleep spell and a mug of Honey Syrup."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""That was a virus. This isn't," she retorted./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""It may as well be."/span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""I give up..." she sighed, slapping her forehead as she elected to follow him in silence. He led her down the stairs, through the main audience chamber, and down another flight, this one steeper and spiraling into the darkness of Castle Koopa's basement. "I take it this Kamek character is big on ambiance..." she remarked as they reached the bottom. Ludwig said nothing, continuing down the hallway and stopping before the same door he'd come out of not terribly long ago./span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" /span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" /span/p  
p style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" /span/p 


	10. Resignation

Dinner took place as it usually did in Castle Koopa. The silence was broken with occasional conversation, but for the most part, everyone focused fully on the transferrence of food from their plates to their mouths. Tonight, the kitchen staff had prepared veal stroganoff which, apparently, was a hit with most of Bowser's family. Larry, the only resident vegetarian, contented himself by eating a salad in its place, but otherwise there had been no complaints.

Ludwig found that, while he hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast, his appetite had left him as he sat at his usual place, aimlessly pushing the noodles and meat around his plate. He'd tried, twice, on his way down the hallway to flag down a guard and inform them of Karma's whereabouts, but both times he'd found that his throat had constricted itself to the size of a pinhole, disabling his speech and nearly his breathing. Was this really how it was going to be for the rest of his life? Not only was he doomed to constantly share it with a foul-tempered freak of nature, but every time he tried to rid himself of her, he'd find himself rolling on the floor in some form of pain?

He drew in his breath, heaving a sigh that filled every cavity of his chest as he looked up from his plate. His father sat not ten feet away from him, currently downing his fourth helping of dinner. Under normal circumstances he'd have wasted no time in informing him of the fact that he was harboring an intruder in his laboratory, but he was helplessly aware that it was not an option of his. Not with the current chokehold the Metbond had on his better sense, at least.

"HEY! I'm talking to YOU, mud-fer-brains!" Roy roared, prodding his older brother with his fork in the shoulder, shaking Ludwig out of his mental reverie and making him whip his head in his younger brother's direction. "Gimme that salt or I'm gonna cave yer face in!" Ludwig narrowed his eyes, obediently reaching for the salt shaker and then, with a flick of his paw, throwing it at Roy irritatedly.

"Choke on it," the older Koopaling hissed as the shaker bounced off of Roy's plastron with a tonk, showering him in salt. Roy glared at Ludwig from behind his sunglasses with an expression of unbridled spite.

"So what's your problem, brainiac?" he threatened, retrieving the shaker from where it had settled in his lap, never removing his eyes from Ludwig.

"Me. And in about three seconds, you're going to share in it," he snarled, half-hoping his brother would throw a punch so that he could take out his pent aggression on something. Roy, instead, quietly returned to his meal, deciding that the scuffle wasn't worth foregoing dinner as he resumed eating. Sighing in disgust, Ludwig folded his arms on the table and laid his head upon them, his mind still churning restlessly about his current situation.

"Ludwig, dear...?" Clawdia's alto voice spoke up.

"What?" he asked dejectedly, not lifting his head.

"Don't talk to your mother that way," Bowser grumbled, having just cleared his plate.

"Are you feeling alright?" the Koopa Queen inquired, ignoring her husband as she cocked her head at a curious angle.

Pall. "Well, I guess if you promise not to try and kill me or anything, we could always share..."

"I share with no one," Playful snorted.

"Well, neither do I. And I think that's where the REAL problem lies," she retorted icily. The two regarded each other in silence for a long moment.

"You're aware, of course, that I could strike you down where you stand..." he said at last.

"Right..." Karma nodded half-heartedly.

"Cats are not expected to know magic," Playful explained, not seeming to care if she was listening or not anymore. "But then cats aren't expected to be able to read or speak, either. Before that horrid Wendy-child started complaining about my shredding the library, I managed to teach myself a thing or two. Namely about the ancient Deathstare."

"And lemme guess... Now's where you threaten to use it on me and I beg you not to, right?" the yoshikoopa inquired flatly. Playful faltered a bit, clearly having had the wind taken out of his sails.

"Foolish creature..." he hissed, standing again and neatly hopping back onto the windowsill. "I've no time to waste on pathetic debates. We will discuss this later, you and I." Saying so, Playful leapt from the sill and outside. Karma, in spite of her acquired dislike for the cat, ran to the window to see where he'd landed. To her relief, she saw the black feline gracefully sliding down a nearby turret, using the vines and rough granite as enough friction to keep his fall slow and controlled. A moment later he had alighted safely in the grass and stalked gracefully out of sight.

It led her to a question... was everybody in Castle Koopa just as obnoxious and hair-triggered as Ludwig? Feh... Ludwig. If nothing else the brief interlude with Playful had made her forget about THAT particular annoyance for awhile. She groaned and flopped onto the cot's thin mattress again, ignoring the metal rods of the frame as they dug into her shoulders.

If she never saw him again, it would be too soon...

"Karma?" Ludwig called, shoving the door open without bothering to knock. The hybrid remained where she was for a moment before rolling over with a casualness she didn't feel to glare at the eldest Koopaling.

"I'm going to give you a special something to work on today," she said snidely. "It's called 'your timing'."

"Your company has been requested downstairs," he informed her, ignoring her previous statement.

"That's nice," she said disinterestedly. "As much as I'd love for your dad to try out his new chainsaw and hockey mask on my person, I think I'll stay where I am, thanks."

"This is important," Ludwig insisted. "There's a chance we can break this and I need to get you to Kamek so he can study you."

"Study me... Heh, I'm a lab rat now?"

"Study both of us," he impatiently corrected, irritated by her lack of cooperation. "I don't think I'm guessing in my assumption that you'd like this to be over as much as I would."

"Maybe... if it didn't mean that I was going to end up at the top of the 'maim and kill' roster. I'm not making excuses or anything, but try walking a mile in my shell."

"Look, just follow me," he sighed, fighting the urge to grab her by the arm and haul her out of the room manually.

"I don't think so," she answered simply.

"Karma..." he growled warningly, nearing the peak of his frustration. The hybrid remained stubbornly dormant on the cot. "Look..." he said through gritted fangs, ready to say anything just to get her to do what he asked. "I don't care WHAT you do after this bond is severed. For all I care, you can ransack the castle and make a run for it over the horizon. I won't stop you."

"Give me one good reason," the hybrid challenged.

"I WANT MY LIFE BACK!" Ludwig yelled, his voice unnaturally loud in the enclosed space of the room. Karma seemed unrattled as she laid where she was a moment more before shrugging and sitting up.

"Fair enough, I guess. Where're we going?" Ludwig relaxed a bit at her compliance as he opened the door, motioning her into the hallway.

"As I told you, downstairs," he replied, waiting until she'd joined him before sweeping the door closed. "With any luck this can be resolved within the hour."

"I wouldn't hold your breath," Karma muttered, already knowing he wasn't going to listen.

"Just because something has gone unresearched doesn't make it incurable," he told her rationally. "There was a time when Koopas were dropping dead left and right from Ivory Fever, and it turned out that the cure was simply a three-day sleep spell and a mug of Honey Syrup."

"That was a virus. This isn't," she retorted.

"It may as well be."

"I give up..." she sighed, slapping her forehead as she elected to follow him in silence. He led her down the stairs, through the main audience chamber, and down another flight, this one steeper and spiraling into the darkness of Castle Koopa's basement. "I take it this Kamek character is big on ambiance..." she remarked as they reached the bottom. Ludwig said nothing, continuing down the hallway and stopping before the same door he'd come out of not terribly long ago.

"Kamek?" he called, knocking sharply.

"It's open," the sorcerer's voice replied from within, slightly muffled. Ludwig seemed relieved that he wouldn't have to play any games this time as he pushed the door inward, absently beckoning Karma to follow.

"I brought her," Ludwig announced as Kamek looked up from his scroll, smiling a bit at the hybrid as she awkwardly entered the chamber.

"So I see," he nodded, setting his reading aside and stretching a bit. "Now then... let's get a clear look at your auras, first of all, and see what we're up against..." Saying so, he squinted and murmured something to himself. Though Karma and Ludwig felt nothing, Kamek's field of vision darkened, the only source of light being a halo of brilliant greens and blues that surrounded the Koopalings. Barely visible, ringing the brighter colors, was a faint tinge of pink light. It moved elastically, hinting that it had a large reach, but that there was a limit, ultimately.

"Your suspicions are confirmed, I'm afraid," Kamek said thoughtfully. "This isn't just a case of overactive imaginations... There is, most definitely, a force binding the two of you together." At this, Ludwig sighed in disgust, moving a few steps further away from Karma.

"And what about undoing it?" Karma piped up. "Poofball here claims there's a way to."

"I never said there was a way," Kamek corrected, blinking and terminating his visual connection with their spiritual essense. "I simply said I would try." As he said so, the yoshikoopa shot Ludwig a decidedly smug look. "Have a seat. This will take a while," Kamek invited, waving a hand and producing two chairs directly behind Karma and Ludwig in a stardusting of blue. The surprised Koopas both obediently seated themselves, looking a bit awkward.

"Are either of you expected to be anywhere anytime soon?" the Magikoopa inquired.

"Err... Not to my knowledge," Ludwig replied, looking a bit confused. "Any reason?"

"Because the process I'm going to initiate will take at least an hour... possibly more. I'm going to need the both of you to cooperate with me fully," he explained. "The only way this has a chance of working is with both of your total submission and concentration."

"Why?" Karma asked suspiciously.

"Because," Kamek replied simply, offering no further explanation for her. The hybrid narrowed her eyes distrustfully.

"I'm game, are you?" Ludwig inquired, looking to Karma.

"No," she said stubbornly. "Not until this kook tells us what he needs us to submit to. I'm not gonna let some weirdo in a bedsheet put me out so he can do Plit-knows-what to me when I can't stop him."

"How dare you!" the eldest Koopaling hissed, taking extreme offense. He'd known Kamek since he was an infant. The old sorcerer loved his pranks, yes, but to even hint he'd do something like that...

Ludwig's agitation soothed a bit as he heard Kamek burst into laughter. "I suppose I should be flattered you'd give me that much credit. If you were to ask some of the other people in this place, they'd tell you I was too old to even think that way." He paused, clearing his throat. "All three of us will need to assume a deep state of mind."

"Hypnotism, you mean?" Ludwig asked.

"Hypnotism of a sort," he replied. "I don't have time for the swinging watches or spinning spiral disks, I'm afraid, so I'll be resorting to more modern methods..." Saying so, he picked up a wand crowned with a domed black jewel from a nearby tabletop and examined it with idle interest. "But again, it's something I would need both of your trust and agreement on." He was blatant in eyeing Karma calculatingly as he said so.

"Okay... Assume for a minute I have no idea what you're getting at with this whole hypnosis and 'total submission' bunk. What exactly do you plan on doing?" Karma demanded, unperturbed as she kicked back in her chair, crossing her legs.

"According to my readings, something such as a Metbond is a very deeply-rooted thing. In order to even get close to it, I'm going to need to probe the most primitive depths of your minds," he told her patiently.

"And is this something you can screw up?" the hybrid grumbled.

"If you mean by 'screw up', find this mission to be unsuccessful, then yes... there's a high probability of it. If you mean unintentionally altering or damaging you and Ludwig in some way, then no."

"Just checking," Karma nodded stiffly, still not looking entirely convinced.

"Are we ready?" the Magikoopa inquired, eyeing the both of them questioningly. Karma and Ludwig exchanged a brisk glance, their mutual dislike for one another very apparant.

"I guess..." she relented.

"Good... then let's begin." Kamek smiled, waving the wand he held and shrouding both Koopalings and himself in a fine black mist before either of them had a chance to dream up any further misgivings. The blackness didn't come gradually as it did when falling asleep. It hit all three of them like an intangible wall, rendering them all unconscious roughly at the same time and sending them sprawling haphazardly in their respective chairs.

It took Kamek only a moment to collect himself as he sank into the void of his innermost mind. Having explored it for years, he knew his subconscious like the back of his hand - every wraith, every insecurity, every failed hope... none of them bothered him anymore. It always troubled him a bit, however, when he was asked to attempt to enter another's mind. Today, he was being asked to trespass into two and while he wasn't especially worried about what Ludwig might hold, he was a bit offput by Karma. She was a stranger, after all, carrying unknown baggage and demons. Who knew what he might find?

Deciding he would start with the lesser of two evils, Kamek found his center and concentrated, a pinprick of light forming in front of himself and gradually expanding, becoming a brilliant portal that he allowed himself to drift into. There was a brief sensation of flight and, for a few moments, everything around him became a dizzying blur of color before; with a jarring thud, he found himself in blackness again.

But this was different... most definitely not the same as his own. The atmosphere was staler and held the same musty tang of old paper as a library did. A low buzz of whispering voices, barely audible in the background, droned equations, construction methods, and quotes from famous figureheads. There was no doubt that he was in Ludwig's head as he willed himself forward. He had completed the first step, now it would only get more difficult as he drifted, hands outstretched and feeling... waiting until-

*BUMP*

Kamek was repelled slightly by an unseen barrier that, as he pressed his palms against it, filled him with a sense of not being wanted there. He was not discouraged, as this was the brain's common reaction to having its depths invaded. It was part of the reason he had wanted to ensure he would have complete cooperation... a willing mind was testy enough of a procedure to probe, but an UNwilling one was next to impossible, depending on the strength of the holder's will. Given this was Ludwig he was dealing with, he was glad to have the eldest Koopaling's consent to things on his side.

Open, he commanded, the mental vapor of his voice reverberating back at him in wisps of echo. Open... open... stay open... Under his palms, he felt the obstruction begin to give, shifting and stretching like warm taffy as he pressed against it until, at last, he was able to pass through.

The environment on the other side of the obstruction was vastly different. The voices that had been ever-presently droning in the main part of the subconscious had ceased here, shrouding everything in disquieting silence. Kamek was unable to repress a small shudder as he continued onward. He hated venturing even into his own brain's reptile sector... it was a very feral and unstable environment, ruled only by basest instinct. But it was here that he would find the source of Ludwig and Karma's Metbond if he found it at all.

Something in the darkness howled suddenly, filling Kamek's presense with foreboding. All of Ludwig's primal terrors and rages were lurking here. To the Koopaling, they were merely figments and unprocessed thoughts, but in Kamek's present state, they could pose a very real danger if they were provoked. Being that he had no idea precisely what it was that frightened Ludwig, he also had no idea what he would be up against if said frights decided to ambush him.

The howl repeated itself, though further away than it had been before, making the Magikoopa relax himself a bit. He banked sharply to the left, attracted by a blush-colored glow that pierced the darkness. As he neared it, the glow intensified itself to a brilliant rose-hued sheen that made him squint slightly. As he finally reached it, he drew in a gasp of shock. It wasn't just a single ribbon of mental twine as he had previously thought when he'd taken a glance at their auras.

Tendrils of evanescent pinks, purples, and reds branched in a thousand directions like an intangible tumor, latching onto every available neurode. It was no wonder Metbonds were, to this day, something that remained unsolvable. Kamek didn't even know where to start... or if he COULD start, for that matter. Tentatively, he extended a hand, laying his fingertips on the nearest of the tendrils. It was warm to the touch, filling him both with a feeling of oneness and a feeling of finality, as though the bond was telling him in its own way that the correct choice had been made and there was no unmaking it.

Experimentally, Kamek tightened his grip, giving the tendril a pull. He immediately regretted his decision as a stinging jolt of pain rang out in every nerve in his arm. Wincing and gritting his teeth, the Magikoopa released his hold, withdrawing and rubbing at his flesh. Whatever force was behind the bond seemed to not just be unable to be tampered with, but was making it known that it didn't want to be. He'd never seen such a thing before - he'd heard of Metbonds, but this day and age, they had become such a rarity that this was the first time he'd seen one up close. Whatever binding force was behind it, he was silently glad that no one had been able to replicate or twist it in some way to serve some other purpose.

Gathering his courage, Kamek decided he would try one last thing. Backing away a few paces he narrowed his eyes in concentration, extending his hands before him in a flat-palmed warding gesture. As he muttered a short incantation, an orb of swirling white light drifted from his outstretched hands and toward the red-pink mass before him like a heavy soap bubble. Kamek watched warily... if the displacement spell worked as it was supposed to, it would entrap the tendrils on impact until he indicated where they were supposed to be taken next.

He wasn't quite sure what happened as it all took place so quickly, but he was aware of a warm bursting sensation followed shortly by a nova of bright light as he was thrown violently backward the way he had come. THAT had not gone at all the way it was supposed to have, he thought with chagrin. His brief flight ended as his head was suddenly engulfed by a suffocating and warm void of some sort and, before he could struggle, he suddenly found himself awash with visions.

He found that, for the time being at least, he was no longer himself... he was a watching spectator from someone else's standpoint - Ludwig's standpoint, he guessed, given whose mind he was in. He was in a slightly dimmed white-walled room where several humming machines stood. Kamek recognized them instantly - incubation units, just like the ones he had witnessed Bowser hover over so many times when each of his children had been born and placed here to be kept warm and monitored. Someone approached and the field of vision swiveled toward it to reveal a Troopa in midwife garb drawing near, a mottled egg in her arms. Following closely behind was another larger female, looking bedraggled and exhausted but not entirely seeming to mind it.

At second glance, Kamek knew precisely who it was: Karma...or at least, an older version thereof. As she neared, the owner of the point of view Kamek was borrowing moved forward to meet her. As the two embraced, the Magikoopa could feel the pressure and warmth of her body.

"How are you feeling?" He felt the statement pass over his own tongue as though he were the one saying it, though it was not his voice... the speaker, likewise, was familiar yet not.

"M'okay..." he heard her mutter. "Nothing a little rest won't fix, anyway..." Kamek could feel something soft brushing against the back of his own fingers... he was stroking her hair, he realized with some amusement. "They said it's another girl..."

At that moment, the images broke off and Kamek found himself in control of his own body again as he was plunged back into blackness. He paused a moment, regaining himself. The force of the Metbond's backlash against his attempted removal had been so great, apparently, that it had plunged him headfirst into one of Ludwig's passing thoughts... no, not a thought, he corrected himself, a vision. This was a glimpse of the boy's future.

The Metbond was so confident in its takeover, apparently, that it had already planned the Koopaling's life around its involvement. He had only a moment to marvel at this before he was jarred once more, this disturbance far more familiar to him. Ludwig had shaken the effects of the spell off and was awakening, most likely because whatever vision Kamek had just experienced, he had as well. Quickly hovering back the way he had come, Kamek dove through the gentle glow of the void he had come through, propelling himself out of Ludwig's head and back into his own.

Arriving back in his own body struck him with the same jolt a splash of cold water might and he quickly situated himself before swimming back to consciousness. Kamek awoke a few moments later in his quarters, sitting up from where he'd sprawled across his desk and straightening his glasses a bit. A cursory glance at the small clock sitting nearby told him that what had seemed to only take him a few moments of investigation had, in fact, taken nearly forty-five minutes.

His attention was drawn by a sharp whistling sound as he turned his head quickly in the direction of the chairs he'd left the younger two in. Karma was still soundly in her trance, head lulling against her left shoulder, but Ludwig was quite awake and had fallen from his chair in a half-crouch, wheezing and clutching his throat. The whistling's source was the Koopaling's attempts to draw air as the Magikoopa realized what was happening to him.

Panic attacks were ugly things, but were easily diffused as long as their host was in a coherant enough state to be calmed. Rising from his seat, Kamek approached the stricken Koopaling and knelt in front of him. "Prince von Koopa...?" he said gently, placing his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Look at me... come on now... that's a good lad..." he said soothingly, gratified as Ludwig lifted his head to look at him, his eyes those of a feral hunted creature. "Now I want you to concentrate on breathing deeply... can you do that? In... out... in..." Ludwig complied... or did his best to, at least. A few moments later, the color had returned to his face and his breathing, though ragged, came easily again. "Now what brought that on?" Kamek inquired.

"S-saw something..." Ludwig muttered, pausing to cough. "Me... grown up, with-with her. And an egg..." He was silent a moment, looking somewhere between revolted and exceedingly miserable as he continued to get ahold of himself. "Kamek, what happened in there? Did... did it work?"

"I did what I could, which, I'm afraid, is not very much in this situation..." he began carefully. "I didn't know where to begin, Ludwig... I couldn't even get near it."

"What do you mean 'couldn't even get near it'?!" he demanded reproachfully.

"It was able to ward off both physical and magical attempts to remove it. At the risk of telling you what the text and legends already have, it can't be tampered with. Very plainly that," Kamek replied reasonably, though not without sympathy.

"No," the Koopaling replied stonily. "I won't just settle for this and let something else plan my future! If I've been made aware of it, I can blasted well change it!" His voice broke on the last word with frustration, making Kamek knit his brow a bit. This was something a boy his age shouldn't have to deal with. It would be at least five more years until he would be considered an adult and face issues such as marriage and royal duties... he agreed with Ludwig's sentiment that it wasn't fair.

There was a lucid moan from nearby as Karma began to come awake, blinking sleepily as she lifted her head. "What's going on...?" the hybrid yawned, stretching a bit and turning her attention to where Ludwig and Kamek were hunkered on the floor beside her. At hearing her voice, Ludwig suddenly leapt to his feet, growling and baring his teeth.

"YOU stay away from me!" he commanded, turning and storming out of Kamek's quarters, slamming the door behind him. Karma was still for a moment, letting what had just happened sink in.

"Uhh... okay?" she muttered, cocking her head in confusion.

"As you may have guessed, this didn't go quite as well as we'd hoped..." Kamek informed her, sighing deeply.

"I figured it wouldn't," Karma shrugged. "I've been telling that blowhard since he started in on this 'undo it' kick that it couldn't happen."

"Perhaps you ought to be nicer to him," Kamek suggested. Karma looked at the Magikoopa as though he had just grown an extra head and burst out laughing.

"Nice?!" she repeated incredulously. "He does nothing but call me names and threaten me and you want me to be nice?!"

"This event is going to upend his life in many ways."

"It's not doing wonders for mine either," she grumped, standing.

"Yes, but from what I've gathered about you, you don't live with any sort of order or reason to yours. You certainly don't have a father you've been brought up to respect and admire who could come to resent you for it."

"I respect my dad," the hybrid argued, narrowing her eyes. "I just... haven't seen him in awhile."

"Ludwig is the eldest of Bowser's children," Kamek went on, ignoring her statement. "It comes with many responsibilities that he's been settled with since hatching. What his father thinks of him is very important to him and your sudden involvement has thrown a rather large wrench into the works. Their confrontation last night over you is not going to help much."

"Cry me a river," she sighed, making a dismissive motion with her hand. Her wrist was caught before she could withdraw it. It was not a painful grip, rather it was a stern one, as Kamek's expression darkened a bit.

"It wouldn't kill you to start showing some respect," he told her irately. "I've cared for Ludwig since he was a youngling and your attitude toward him has much to do with the way he's been treating you."

"Newsflash, geezer..." she snarled, yanking her arm out of his grip. "I've known him for less than a day, and he's been nothing but a jerk since the get-go. I don't care if we're Mets or even if we woke up joined at the forehead, I don't tolerate that from anybody. Did your super ninja undercover work tell ya that HE was the one who wouldn't let well enough alone and insisted on hauling me back to the dungeon in the first place?!"

"You kept provoking him," Kamek pointed out. "And you were trespassing without even so much as a 'sorry'."

"It wasn't my fault!" she snapped.

"Perhaps not, but it's still no excuse for acting like you were entitled either. You were just as confident, it seems, as I was that this could not be undone... and you know that with that will come spending the rest of your lives together..." He studied her a moment before drawing a deep, exhausted breath. "Can't you at least agree to disagree? If not for his sake, then for the sake of everybody else who has to listen to you?"

"You're not my mom," she growled.

"Given your behavior, it would be good of SOMEONE to take over that role..." Kamek replied, unwavering. "I've played surrogate father to Bowser and later to his children whether they wanted it or not. If you're coming under this roof, I'll do the same for you. I think you'll find that your attitude won't get you far in this place, and it will be your decision whether I gently advise you or forcibly turn you in the direction you need to go. Either way, order will be kept."

Silence fell between them as Karma glared at Kamek and Kamek reciprocated it, unintimidated. In the end, Karma dropped her eyes first.

"Fine... whatever... I just want to go back to my room, alright?" she said in a barely audible tone.

"No one is stopping you. I just want to make sure that we understand one another."

"I hear ya..." the hybrid sighed, turning to leave.

"Ludwig is usually in the laboratory this time of day," Kamek called after her conversationally. In return, Karma didn't even bother pausing in her gait as she made a rude gesture over her shoulder at the sorcerer, exited, and slammed the door. Kamek decided it was not worth pursuing further... he'd gotten to say his peace and he was satisfied.

For all of her nastiness, this newcomer wasn't quite the pillar of wit she thought herself to be. Kamek had seen her type before, windblown and bitter about everything because life had dealt her a bad card. Given time, she'd likely calm herself and conform to something more tolerable now that she was in an organized environment with schedules to keep and responsibilities that would soon enough be imposed on her. He hoped so at least. Right now, he couldn't say he blamed Ludwig much for resenting her.

Picking up the scroll he had been observing after he had spoken to Ludwig earlier that day, Kamek returned to his reading.

"C'mon... It can't be as bad as all that," Larry said, trying to sound reassuring and at the same time not hit any nerves as he watched his older brother pace the recreation room irately from where he sat on the couch, his interest long since having shifted from the TV program he'd been watching to Ludwig's state of rage.

"You have NO idea what I'm going through," Ludwig snapped in return. "Don't presume to think for me."

"I'm not... Geez, calm down..." the younger Koopaling said, putting up his hands defensively. "Why dontcha just throw her in the lava pits or something and be done with it?"

"Because as I'm sure you've gathered from the crossfire of rumors that have been flying since last night, that's not an option of mine as much as I wish it were. I defied Father only because it would have meant my demise not to."

"Uhh... Actually I heard that you knocked Dad over the head with a Chain Chomp and then asked whatsherface to marry you..." Larry admitted. Ludwig froze in mid-step, clenching his fists and shuddering angrily. He wasn't living in a castle, he decided, he was living in a tabloid office waiting to happen. "Anyway, why's she gotta stay here if you don't like her?"

"Because if I'm too far away from her or try to deny this, it makes us both sick," he explained briskly.

"Why aren't you sick now?" Larry questioned, quirking a brow.

"Because I'm sure she's lurking in the shadows somewhere around here," he answered spitefully. "And I'm not denying it anymore..." he admitted reluctantly. "Kamek has confirmed it on all levels, now I just need a way out of it."

"I dunno... if Kamek couldn't help, you might be out of luck." The deep-throated growl that met his statement made Larry sit up on the couch, looking at his wrist quickly as thought checking an invisible watch. "Wow... lookit the time!" he announced. "Those peony bulbs are about done soaking... time to get 'em into some potting soil." And with that, Larry bounded out of the rec room, leaving Ludwig by himself.

The eldest Koopaling resumed pacing. It was unbelievable... ordinarily he was a tough nut to crack and in the past day, he'd come completely unravelled. He wanted nothing more than to punch something until he was exhausted - ANYTHING to get rid of the pent anger and restore himself to his usual low-key temperment.

He just wanted things to go back to how they were supposed to be, that's all. He didn't like knowing he was the center of negative attention, he hated that his father was angry with him, and he absolutely detested Karma. Giving a strangled cry of frustration, he slammed a fist against the wall with a dull thud. The impact didn't even dent the plaster, but it DID make him draw in his breath in a pained hiss as he rubbed at his knuckles.

This needed to stop, he concluded. They had to find a happy medium somewhere, or things were going to escalate until he wouldn't be able hold back any longer and they both tore each other apart.

He didn't like it... and it wouldn't be a return to complete normality, but given the situation...

Still angry, but trying to put himself in a negotiating state of mind, Ludwig left the recreation room in search of the hybrid. The front hall was empty save for Bagels whining and wagging her tail as she watched a crack in the wall fervently where she had trapped a Goomba. Deciding Karma had likely withdrawn back into her room, Ludwig headed for the stairs.

"Hey Cassanova! Find any good Yoshis lately?" Ludwig cringed as Roy sauntered out of the east hallway, eyeing him smugly.

"This is a matter best left undiscussed with you," he retorted, continuing toward the stairs even as his younger brother stepped into his path. He and Roy, though two years apart, were the same size, and most of Roy's bulk was invested in muscle. While he didn't exactly intimidate Ludwig, it was still enough to make him stop and listen. "What?" Ludwig sighed in exasperation.

"Whaddaya mean, 'what'?!" Roy demanded. "What are you thinkin'?!"

"I'm thinking that this is a topic you really would rather not press with me at the moment. Consider this your warning."

"Oooh... I'm scared." he snorted sarcastically. "Seriously, Kook, what're you doin'? Ya bring dat ugly freak in here, ya got Pops all in an uproar, and all cuz you got some weird crush or sumthin'?"

"No," Ludwig replied as calmly as he was able. "I don't know what has been generated by the rumor mill since last evening, but I don't want to deal with it right now. I have something important that needs doing, if you'll excuse me..."

"Psh... what? Ya gonna go smooch with dat big-nosed mixup?" Ludwig, who had been in the process of moving past his brother, rounded on him violently and shoved him over. The brawny Koopaling, not expecting the attack, fell heavily to his backside, coughing as the wind was knocked out of him. In the next instant, Ludwig was perched on his chest, snarling and nearly touching snouts with him.

"I will warn you a final time that this is not a topic I am very fond of at the moment. If you bring it up again, I'll claw your eyes out." Roy, frankly, wasn't sure if it was an empty threat or not, but given the eerily calmness with which Ludwig spoke, despite his obvious anger, he decided it was best not to push his luck.

"Will you get offa me already?" Roy grunted, trying to save face. "Cripes, whadda you weigh anyway, six hundred pounds?!" Ludwig complied, stepping off of Roy's ribcage and heading for the stairs again without another word. He was still angry, but his brief tussle with Roy had left him feeling slightly alleviated. He had a feeling he was about to need every shred of patience he could get as he reached the top of the stairs and headed to the end of the hallway.

He paused for a long moment outside of Karma's door, wondering how, precisely, he intended to approach the situation without making things worse. Someone as irritable as she was would try to find an excuse to argue with any point he attempted to make, therefore he decided that being direct would be the fastest way to get it over with and leave her the least amount of handholds for debate. Readying himself, he knocked.

"Karma?" he asked, waiting a moment. When he received no answer, he opened the door a bit and glanced inside. Empty. Had she stayed in the basement with Kamek, he wondered? No, likely not... Kamek enjoyed his solitude and would have found a way to oust her by now. Hunh... then where...?

"What're YOU nosing around for?" a voice demanded behind him, making him jolt and turn to see Karma standing behind him, arms folded and glaring.

"You and I need to talk," he replied firmly, forcing himself to recover quickly.

"I don't have anything to say to you... Besides, if memory serves, you were the one screeching about me staying away from you not too long ago."

"We can't keep doing this," Ludwig continued. "I can't be constantly on my guard and constantly angry... It's going to drive me insane."

"Little late for that if you ask me..." she grumbled, shoving past him and opening the door to her room. Before she could slam it shut in his face, Ludwig caught the frame and held it open.

"Look... just listen to me for a minute and then I'll leave you alone," he promised, trying desperately to keep the irritated edge out of his voice and failing. "I just want to get something straight."

"Y'know, this is all really turning into a funny situation. I'm hauled off against my will, almost killed, basically held prisoner here, and now you guys are all taking turns lecturing me for it," she said, eyes narrowed.

"I'm not going to lecture you. I just want an understanding," he snapped. Karma paused in her effort to slam the door shut on his fingers and looked at him with the same tired resignation a mother would give her tantrumy three-year-old. "I know you don't like me, I don't like you either... but I think it should stop at that. I don't want the wardrums to sound every time we end up in the same room together when we could just as easily ignore one another."

"So this is an invitation to stay away from you, in other words," she translated. "Personally I thought your screaming it down in Kamek's room was a lot more direct of a way to say the same thing."

"It's not an invitation to stay away," he argued. "Its just an offer to make peace until we figure out what we're doing. That's all." Her gaze remained stony and unrelenting as he sighed, lowering his head in resignation. "Please," he added grudgingly, barely audible under his breath.

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?" she inquired disbelievingly. She hadn't noticed until just then how haggard he looked. It had only been a day and he looked like someone who hadn't slept in a week. "Alright, Poofball, sure..." she relented at last. "No more fights, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna go pick out china patterns with ya anytime soon."

"I have no intention of ever letting things get that far," he assured her. "That's all I needed, thank you." Saying so, he turned to leave. Karma paused, Kamek's lecture from earlier springing to mind before she reached out, catching him by the tail and making him yelp with surprise and turn to look at her again.

"Look..." she said, having a lot of difficulty. "I'm... I'm not trying to make this personal, okay? Everything's just happening way too fast and I don't like it." Ludwig paused, surprised at her extension of an olive branch to him, however subtle it was.

"Well... I don't like it either," he replied sullenly. "I'll talk to you later, perhaps."

"Yeah... later..." Karma muttered. There was an uncomfortable pause and then she stepped into her room and closed the door quietly behind her. That had gone easier than he'd thought, really... he'd expected to spend at least a few more minutes arguing and yelling. Perhaps she was capable of seeing reason. Dismissing the thoughts from his mind for the moment, Ludwig quietly padded back toward the stairwell, headed for the laboratory.


	11. What is meeting?

: What is Meeting?

Q: What is Meeting?

A: Meeting, by definition, is a strong and unbreakable bond formed between two Koopas that must result in the two Met parties being near one another at all times. To deny the bond brings about grave illness or even death.

To explain it better, everybody has a "gotta" sector living in the back of their brain (the primitive part that all of our base impulses come from, like hunger and fatigue). Now some of the "gottas" are more developed in some species than in others and are what produce our attraction to different people based on certain traits. In the case of Meeting, it is two different gottas reaching out to one another.

Gotta Jim: Hello? C'mon! I'm lonely as all get-out. I got a host here with a great immune system and big healthy fangs!

Gotta Betty: Huh? What's that? I can hear you! I've got a host over here with a pair of nice eyes and genetic makeup for a really sturdy shell and plastron! I think together we could make a great team!

Gotta Jim: Hey! Sounds good! Let me just get this idiot over there and we can talk some more!

Jim: Uh... wait, I don't even know that person...

Gotta Jim: Just get over there, you moron, or I will make you SO sick it won't even be funny.

In the Koopas' case, they are an aggressive species by nature, and busy themselves so much with conquering and ruling their lands and kingdoms that many of them often live their lives and die without ever marrying or producing an heir to their land. Because of this, their number began to fall and as a species, they began to dwindle.

As time went on, the "gotta" area of the Koopa brain honed itself and became more vocal, realizing that since its host was generally too preoccupied with other things, it would have to keep its eye open for an ideal partner on its own and, in order to attract its host body to it, would have to create an undenyable bond of togetherness that would mean serious illness or even death to deny.

As this urge became more of a common phenomenon, forcing marriages throughout the various royal families, the Koopas came to simply call it "Meeting". While Meeting had its desired effect, it was looked upon as both a blessing and a curse, a blessing because it was slowly repopulating the Koopa ranks and a curse because, while doing so, it was forcing marriages between unwilling parties and breaking up otherwise-happy relationships with its meddling.

Some of the more magically-inclined Koopa families turned to the Magikoopas for assistance with unwanted Metbonds, but to no avail. While magic could alter how the main part of the brain thought and worked, it couldn't quite reach deep enough to effect the primitive part that had forced the bond. In the end, the Magikoopas found themselves being asked for love spells to ease the friction of having Met someone the host didn't like very much.

As extinction of the Koopa race began to look less likely and new generations sprung forth, the phenomenon of Meeting became less common until it was largely regarded as an old wive's tale among the younger members of the royal families.

The Gotta portion of the brain still remains actively on the lookout and, on rare occasions, will still force a Meeting. It generally occurrs between recluses or misfits who happen upon one another by chance, hense why it is not heard of very often.

Q: Does Meeting occur in species other than Koopas?

A: It's entirely possible that it could, but it would have to be under certain circumstances. In the case of the Koopas, as I said, Meeting became a necessity when the race wasn't thriving on its own and starting to die out due to its own neglect.

Q: What if one of the members of a Metbond is a hybrid? Like, why would Karma have Met Ludwig when she's part Yoshi?

A: Karma has Yoshi traits, but is equally part Koopa as well. Therefore the Gotta of her brain is far more developed than that of a Yoshi and she is receptive to the force of Meeting. Any hybrid in a Metbond must be at least half-Koopa for the bond to effect them.

Q: What if Meeting occurs between two Koopas who are too young to get married?

A: In such a case, the force is much more subdued, though it still commands that both Koopas be near one another as sort of a mandatory friendship. As the Koopas mature, so does the Metbond.

Q: Can two different species Meet?

A: It is entirely a possibility that all depends on whether or not there IS another species capable of Meeting, and whether or not chance brings that particular pair together.

Q: Can a higher Koopa Meet an underling?

A: A good and fair question. It is entirely a possibility. A member of the royal Koopa family could very well be receptive to Meeting a common Koopa Troopa, though their bond would likely be shunned and not produce any offspring.

Q: What happens if one of the members of a Met couple dies naturally?

A: It's up in the air, really... the surviving member, depending on how strong their bond was, may either suffer a few days' sickness and then go on living as normal with the bond severed, or likewise they may grow violently ill and die within hours of their Met's passing.

Q: What happens if one of the members of a Met couple is killed?

A: This is far more dangerous for the other person involved. The Metbond is severed so violently and quickly that the Gotta portion of the brain falls into a turmoil and likely will shut down the survivor's body entirely in response to the absense of the other half of the pairing.

Q: Can one force a Meeting?

A: While possible, it is a very tiresome process and involves long exhaustive sessions of meditation and hypnosis. To put it simply, the two Koopas under the hypnosis reach out to one another with their minds and try to attract the attention of each other's Gotta sectors. The failure rate is very high, but there are scattered known successes with it.

Q: If a Koopa's Met dies, can he/she end up Meeting someone else later on?

A: In all probability, no. If a Koopa manages to survive the breaking of such a powerful bond due to the natural death of his/her partner, the Gotta portion of the brain becomes very quiet and inactive, as it has served its purpose and is no longer needed. A Koopa whose Met passes is generally likely to become a shut-in and no longer have an interest in partnership of any sort, loving or professional.

Q: If a Koopa Meets someone but they are currently in love with someone else, does it mean they can't love them anymore?

A: Not at all, and that is part of the reason Meeting has gotten the reputation of being a curse. It quite literally comes out of nowhere, sometimes when one member of the Metbond is already quite happily involved with someone else. In most cases, both members of the Metbond do not know nor do they even LIKE one another when it happens, and accomodations are made. In some cases, the other member of the Metbond is invited to live with a current family out of necessity while a current marriage still carries on unbroken and happy, but most commonly, outside relationships do not survive the strain of the bond and are broken off due to frustration or jealousy.

Q: Can a Koopa who has Met someone still fall in love with someone else?

A: Yes. The brain forms the bond, but the heart does not. Unfortunately, a Meeting is valued on the same level as a marriage by most who know of it and anyone a wandering Met's eye might be attracted to will likely stay away to avoid trouble. As mentioned above, most relationships do not survive the strain of Meeting out of jealousy and the necessity of the other half of the bond's constant presense.

Q: How does a Koopa know when they've Met someone?

A: They don't. Not right away. It's not like there's a sudden bolt of lightning that strikes both their heads and says "AND NOW YOU MUST MARRY!". Most commonly a Meeting will occur during a large gathering or party of some sort. A few hours later, they may find themselves continuously thinking of one person in particular that they ran into that night in the sea of other faces. After a couple more hours, the first feelings of sickness will start to settle in. This is usually the red flag for most Koopas that something odd has struck them and they try to get back in contact with the person lingering on their mind. If it is denied further, the sickness will gradually intensify to the point of dehabilitation when it has, quite rudely, become too great a thing to ignore.

Q: Do Mets always hate each other or can they eventually learn to accept one another?

A: Mets can, most certainly, fall in love. It's all a question of whether or not the hosts are willing to put each other's differences aside and give it a chance. Koopas, by nature, are bull-headed sorts that don't enjoy deviating from a path once they've started on it and most will deny a Metbond for as long as possible until sickness drags them to the other person. It is more likely that Metbonds that occur in younger Koopas will result in eventual love than it is in older ones.

Q: Is there anything special about offspring that result from a Meeting?

A: There is nothing that is hugely special about them except they get the best of their parents' genes and are generally a lot sturdier and stronger than most Koopalings their age. If either parent has a birth-given magical ability, there is a 98% chance that the child will inherit it as well.

Q: Can there be a one-sided Meeting? Like say... Suzie Koopa Meets Dillon Koopa, but Dillon doesn't Meet her?

A: No. Meeting is the result of two minds reaching out and linking, hense why there is a bond at all.

Q: If lots of meditation can force a Meeting, can the same sort of meditation force the disbandment of a Metbond?

A: No. The link is hard enough to create and impossible to disband except in the event of death.

i will be starting scribbles tonight


	12. Mario goes to kindergarten

**One day, Mario was in his house painting the TV yellow to make it look like a big hunk of cheese. However, he was using purple paint to do it. Luigi came in with the mail.**

 **Mario: Did I get a doctor in the mail?**

 **Luigi: No... there's just bills and more bills. Let's see... bill... bill... bill...**

 **Mario: So I got-a Bill Gates in the mail?**

 **Luigi: ... bill... bill... ad... you've just won a million dollars... legendary sacred statue... whoa! Mario, look at this!**

 **Luigi held out a letter to Mario, but Mario looked at his empty hand.**

 **Mario: Wow-a! Your hand!**

 **Luigi: No, Mario, the other hand!**

 **Mario stared at the letter in Luigi's hand. He observed it very very closely. He poked at it and stared at it. Finally, he spoke.**

 **Mario: Hey, your hand has a glove on it!**

 **Luigi: No, Mario. This letter!**

 **Mario: P!**

 **Luigi: MARIO!**

 **Mario: WHAT?!**

 **Luigi shoved the letter into Mario's chest. Mario stared at it for four hours, then finally picked it up. He started to sniff it. Hehe... Snifit... Anyway, Mario finally opened the letter and stared at it for another hour. Finally, Luigi came in and grabbed it out of his hand.**

 **Luigi: I'll read it to you, I forgot that you couldn't read.**

 **Mario: I WISH I WAS AN OSCAR MEIYER WIENER!**

 **Luigi: Dear Mr. Mario Mario. We regret to inform you that you have never passed Kindergarten. Because of this, you must take a full week of Kindergarten, or else you can never get a job. This includes being a hero. So if you wish to continue saving Peach from Bowser and his kids, you will have to finish Kindergarten. Your first day will be Monday, July 21. You will be attending Mushroom Elementary.**

 **Luigi stared at Mario.**

 **Luigi: You've never finished Kindergarten?**

 **Mario: Hey-a, I'm cold.**

 **Luigi gave Mario an odd look. Then he put the letter back in the envelope and sighed.**

 **Luigi: Well Mario, looks like you're going back to school starting Monday.**

 **Mario: I'm-a Mario!**

 **A few days passed by, and Monday came. Luigi escorted his brother to the Mushroom Elementary, where a bunch of little Mushroomer kids were playing outside. Luigi left his brother by the front doors.**

 **Mario: Mamamia!**

 **Mario kicked down the doors and ran inside, jumping up and down as though he were a kangaroo. Suddenly, a large Mushroomer stepped in front of him, but Mario knocked him to the ground and continued bouncing.**

 **Mushroomer: MARIO!**

 **Mario stopped bouncing and looked at the roof.**

 **Mario: THE ROOF IS TALKING TO ME!**

 **Mushroomer: Mario, behave yourself!**

 **Mario: Yes, roof! I will do anything you say!**

 **Mushroomer: MARIO, DOWN HERE!**

 **Mario looked down at the Mushroomer that had stood in his way. He then started laughing like crazy.**

 **Mushroomer: Mario, stop that!**

 **Mario continued laughing at nothing. He was rolling all over the floor laughing his head off. Finally he stopped laughing as suddenly as he had started and stared at the Mushroomer.**

 **Mushroomer: Anyway... Mario, I have been informed that you will be retaking Kindergarten for a week. I have been assigned the task of teaching you. You may call me Mr. Stin.**

 **Mario: Okay, Betty!**

 **Mr. Stin: This is gonna be harder than I thought...**

 **Later that day, class had finally begun. Mario was sitting next to some fat girl with glasses.**

 **Mr. Stin: Hello class!**

 **Class: Hello, Mr. Stin!**

 **Mario: Hello, Betty!**

 **Mr. Stin: Now, today, we have a special student with us. He's retaking Kindergarten and we're going to help him! He's none other than the famous Mario Mario!**

 **The class looked at Mario. A couple kids stared. Others started whispering to one another.**

 **Mr. Stin: Okay class. Today we're going to learn the alphabet! Mario, can you say your ABCs?**

 **Mario: Your A ski please!**

 **Mr. Stin: No... You know, G.**

 **Mario: A B C DELL X E K!**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario, I won't tolerate your silliness.**

 **Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!**

 **Mr. Stin: You'll have to wait until class is over.**

 **Some kids started whispering to each other again.**

 **Mr. Stin: Your attention, class. Can anybody tell Mr. Mario his ABCs?**

 **The fat girl next to Mario raised her hand.**

 **Mr. Stin: Tanya?**

 **Tanya: O-**

 **Mario: X L P!**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario, it's rude to interrupt.**

 **Mario: But I wanna say the ABCs!**

 **Mr. Stin: Well wait until Tanya says it.**

 **Tanya: U-**

 **Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario, please don't interrupt! I'm sorry, but because you interrupted Tanya after I warned you, I'm putting your name on the board.**

 **Mario: But I gotta go BAD!**

 **Mr. Stin: Okay, Mario. Go to the bathroom!**

 **Mario did nothing.**

 **Mr. Stin: Well?**

 **Mario: Well what?**

 **Mr. Stin: Aren't you going to the bathroom?**

 **Mario: I don't want to!**

 **Mr. Stin: You interrupted Tanya to tell me you needed to go, so go!**

 **Mario: But I don't need to go.**

 **Mr. Stin: ... Mario, I don't find this funny at all. I'm putting a check by your name.**

 **Tanya: A B C D-**

 **Mr. Stin: Hold on a second, Tanya.**

 **Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario, if you do this again, I'm giving you another check. That means you'll have to stay after school.**

 **Tanya: Y-**

 **Mario: Betty! Tanya's wrong! It' O-**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario, now's not the time to say if Tanya was wrong or not. That's my job. Now please let Tanya finish her ABCs.**

 **Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario, don't push it.**

 **Mario: Push-a what?**

 **Mr. Stin: Okay, enough ABCs. It seems we all know them by now thanks to Tanya. Besides, it's naptime!**

 **Mario: But-a I'm not hungry!**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario, naptime is when we all take a time out to sleep for a half hour.**

 **Mario: Okie dokie.**

 **So, after setting mats all over the floor (Mario tried to eat his but Mr. Stin stopped him), the kids were soon fast asleep. Except for Mario...**

 **Mario: Dum dee dum dum!**

 **Mr. Stin walked over to Mario's mat and got his attention.**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario, don't you think it would be a good idea for you to try and sleep now?**

 **Mario: Why?**

 **Mr. Stin: Because you need rest.**

 **Mario: Why?**

 **Mr. Stin: Because you'll be cranky.**

 **Mario: Why?**

 **Mr. Stin: Because you wouldn't have gotten sleep.**

 **Mario: Why?**

 **Mr. Stin: Haha, you do have a good sense of humor, but please, try to sleep.**

 **Mr. Stin walked away from Mario's mat and sat at his desk to take a break. Two minutes passed.**

 **Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!**

 **Mario screamed so loudly that he woke up all the students, who were now griping and complaining. Mr. Stin got up from his desk.**

 **Mr. Stin: I'm sorry, Mario...**

 **Mr. Stin put another check next to Mario's name. Mario started to cheer and dance.**

 **Mario: WAHOO!**

 **Tanya: Stop it, Mario!**

 **Kid: Yeah, quit it! We're trying to sleep!**

 **Mr. Stin: Now now, class. It's no time to get mad. We only have about five minutes of naptime left anyway.**

 **The kids started complaining and putting up their mats. After this was done, Mario pulled out the bottom mat and they toppled to the floor. Putting them back up took up the rest of naptime. Mr. Stin settled them all down for story time afterwards.**

 **Mr. Stin: Now class, this story is called "The Three Little Yoshis". Once upon a time there were three little Yoshis. They each had to make a house. The first Yoshi made a house out of Super Leaves. The second little Yoshi made a house out of Mushrooms. But the third little was smarter, and decided to build his house out of ? Blocks. One day, a-**

 **Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario, please don't interrupt story time... Now, as I was saying... One day, a big bad cloud named Huff N. Puff came. He liked attacking little Yoshis. He went to the first little Yoshi's house and said, "Come out little Yoshi, I have a treat for you!" The Yoshi said, "I'm not coming out and there's nothing you can do!" This made Huff N. Puff mad, so he said, "Then I'll huff, n' I'll puff, and I'll BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN!" The Yoshi-**

 **Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!**

 **Mr. Stin: MARIO! ... Um... I mean, Mario please don't interrupt. If you interrupt one more time, I'm going to have to give you another check, and you know what that means.**

 **Mario: I get a free tomato?**

 **Mr. Stin: It means you'll have to go to the principal's office!**

 **Mario: Mamamia!**

 **Mario observed the wall for the rest of story time. Finally, Mr. Stin ended the story and announced playtime. Mario got paired up with Tanya, and they got to play house.**

 **Tanya: Okay, Mario. I'll be the wife and you can be the hu-**

 **Mario: TEACHER! TANYA'S CHEATING!**

 **Mr. Stin: Tanya, are you cheating?**

 **Tanya: We're just trying to play house!**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario?**

 **Mario: I'm-a Mario!**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario-I-do-not-find-this-funny-at-all.**

 **Mr. Stin walked back to his desk.**

 **Tanya: So I'm the wife, you can be the husband. Hi, honey! How was your day?**

 **Mario: I win!**

 **Tanya: Mario, you can't "win".**

 **Mario: YOU'RE JUST A SORE LOSER! HAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Tanya: Mr. Stin! Mario's making me mad!**

 **Mario: But it's-a me, Mario!**

 **Mr. Stin: Yes, Mario, but that doesn't mean you can't be punished. I'm sorry to do this, but you'll need to take this note to the principal.**

 **Mr. Stin handed Mario a note. Mario walked out of the classroom with the note in his hand. He walked to the girls bathroom and danced in the toilet. He flushed the note down the toilet along with various other things, such as the soap dispenser, a book he had in his hat, and all the toilet paper. Mario walked out of the stall he was in as a bunch of girls walked in and started screaming. Mario left the bathroom and went back to class.**

 **Mr. Stin: Well, Mario, did you learn your lesson?**

 **Mario: Oh yeah, I got-a beaten bad!**

 **Mr. Stin: Well, I'm sorry to hear that, and we've ended playtime for a bathroom bre-**

 **Tanya: Mr. Stin! Mario was in the girls bathroom!**

 **Mr. Stin: MARIO, IS THIS TRUE?!**

 **Mario: It's-a me, Mario!**

 **Mr. Stin: MARIO! *sigh* I mean...**

 **Mr. Stin tried to maintain a smile, but got a creepy-looking grin that scared Tanya.**

 **Mr. Stin: Mario... you… have... be-**

 **Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!**

 **Mr. Stin blew his top.**

 **Mr. Stin: THAT'S IT, MARIO! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'LL PASS YOU IF YOU JUST LEAVE AND NEVER COME HERE AGAIN!**

 **Mario: Okie dokie!**

 **Mario walked through the door next to Mr. Stin.**

 **Mr. Stin: AND YOU JUST WALKED INTO A CLOSET!**

 **Mario walked out.**

 **Mario: I don't-a have to go to the bathroom anymore! Seeya!**

 **Mr. Stin: O_O**

 **Mario left the building and ran to the bakery. After walking into the back and getting yelled at and kicked out, he went home.**

 **Luigi: So, how did it-a go?**

 **Mario: How did-a what go?**

 **Luigi: Kindergarten.**

 **Mario: I wanna go to Kindergarten!**

 **Luigi: Well, aren't you going back tomorrow?**

 **The phone rang and Luigi picked it up. After a few, "uh huh"s and "yes"s, he put the phone down.**

 **Luigi: Well, they told me you passed. Good job-a brother!**

 **Mario: Hee hee... I got it!**

 **Mario left the house and climbed onto the roof, where he began painting the chimney pink to make it look like a baseball bat... but he was using the orange paint to do it...**

 **The End**


	13. Fast food-Where is Lemmy Koopa

**Lemmy was driving to a meeting in his doomship, when all of a sudden, his stomach began to growl. Lemmy decided to stop at a fast food place and get some, uh, food. He looked around and saw a place called Cracked Cooking. Lemmy decided it seemed like his kind of place, so he pulled over to its fly-through window, studied the menu, and ordered his food.**

 **Lemmy: Yeah, uh, I'll have a double cheeseburger, an order of onion rings, and a large orange drink. Please.**

 **Attendant: Okay! One number 7!**

 **Lemmy: Did... did you get my order?**

 **Attendant: Yeah! You ordered a 6 piece chicken nuggets, an apple pie, and a diet soda.**

 **Lemmy: No, I ordered a double cheesburger, onion rings, and a large orange drink.**

 **Attendant: Oh, sorry. Make that 2 apple pies!**

 **Lemmy: That's not what I ordered at all! I ordered a double cheesburger, onion rings, and a large orange drink!**

 **Attendant: Yeah, a 6 piece nuggets-**

 **Lemmy: Stop!**

 **Attendant: -2 apple pies-**

 **Lemmy: Wait!**

 **Attendant: -and a diet-**

 **Lemmy: SHUT UP! I want a double cheeseburger! Say it! Duh-bel cheese bur-gur!**

 **Attendant: Duh-bel cheese bur-gur.**

 **Lemmy: Un-yun rings! Say it!**

 **Attendant: Un-yun rings.**

 **Lemmy: Large, or-ange drink! Drink! Say it! Drink! I want a double cheeseburger, onion rings, and a large orange drink!**

 **Attendant: 6 piece chicken nuggets, apple pie, and a diet soda?**

 **Lemmy: Ahh!**

 **Lemmy drives away but hits a tree and dies.**

 **Attendant: Would you like fries with that? Hello? Oh well. Next!**

 **The End**

 **Where in the World is Carmen Sandiago theme plays.**

 **Larry: (singing) Where in the world is... (music stops, normal voice) Lemmy Koopa?**

 **Shows clip of Lemmy.**

 **Lemmy: I don't know.**

 **Shows Ludwig in an empty room.**

 **Ludwig: Greetings everyone. I am Ludwig von Koopa. I'm here to report that Lemmy is missing and we need your, yes, your help to find him. On December 19, 2003 Earth time, Lemmy Koopa disappeared from Castle Koopa and hasn't been seen since. This is a clip of the last time he was seen.**

 **Shows clip of Lemmy punching the air.**

 **Lemmy: Bat bat.**

 **Ludwig: That's out transition clip. Here's the real clip.**

 **Iggy: So Lemmy, what are you doing for New Year's?**

 **Lemmy: I'm going to go to Koopa Garden and watch the big shell drop and hang out with Grandma who's going to tape all my shows for me. Yay!**

 **Ludwig: Very disturbing. This next clip shows how Iggy felt after he found out his brother was missing.**

 **Shows transition clip.**

 **Lemmy: Bat bat.**

 **Shows clip of Iggy dancing in his room to the song Celebration.**

 **Ludwig: Earlier this week, Wendy and I took some Interviews about how people felt about Lemmy being missing.**

 **Shows transition. You know what it is. You don't? Fine...**

 **Lemmy: Bat bat.**

 **Better know now.**

 **Ludwig: How do you fell about Lemmy being missing?**

 **Bowser: Who's Lemmy? Get that camera out of my face!**

 **Transition...**

 **Wendy: What are your thoughts on Lemmy?**

 **Baby Luigi: What's a Lemmy?**

 **Transition.**

 **Roy: He made a great punching bag.**

 **Chain Chomp: Roff roff.**

 **Ludwig: Do you know where Lemmy is?**

 **Clawdia: No.**

 **Luigi: No.**

 **Susan: No**

 **Karma: No**

 **Yoshi: Tacos? I don't eat at Taco Bell.**

 **Wendy: What about you?**

 **Mario: It's-a me, Mario!**

 **Wendy: I know that but do you know where Lemmy is?**

 **Mario: NO! I'm-a uneducated.**

 **Wendy: Why do I get all the idiots?**

 **Transition.**

 **Ludwig: Although Lemmy is missed by all, he was no perfect angel.**

 **Shows clip of Lemmy pointing to the camera.**

 **Lemmy: I WILL TERMINATE YOU, JON STEWART!**

 **Ludwig: If you have any information on Lemmy Koopa's whereabouts, please call...**

 **Lemmy: Bat bat.**

 **Larry: (singing) Where in the world is... (normal voice) Lemmy Koopa?**

 **Shows the Lemmy tribute video. A bunch of pictures of Lemmy with goofy faces and saying bat bat.**

 **Lemmy walks in.**

 **Ludwig: What a waste of money... Where were you Lemmy?**

 **Lemmy: Pizza Hut! Bat bat!**

 **Ludwig chases Lemmy out of the studio.**

 **The End**


	14. Super Koopa 64

System: Nintendo 64.

Sound: Suspenseful music, much of it remixes of old Mario games. The music will sound the opposite of the expected, because the Koopas are bad guys, not good guys. For example, when in a scary place, cheery music may play.

Graphics: Brilliant, everything is painstakingly done, and there is a lot of detail.

Game Play: A 3D adventure, like Super Mario 64, but with much bigger levels and more space between important items. There are also many puzzles.

Story

It's a normal day… for a Koopa, at least. Bowser has ordered that you undertake your monthly attempt of kidnapping Princess Peach Toadstool. You start out on your adventure, only to discover shortly thereafter that your day will be a little less than typical. While you were out, Mario secretly swooped into the Keep and kidnapped Bowser and the other Koopa Kids. Now you have to rescue them as well. To do so, you will need to find many items and enlist special help, and finally have it out with Mario to succeed in your original venture.

Characters

This game has many characters, but only some of them get to appear here (because they paid the largest bribes). By the time you finish the game, you will be familiar with the whole lot of wackoes.

King Bowser Koopa: He wrote the book on evil, but he's tired now. Well, what would you expect from carrying all that extra weight around? He gives you your assignment, then leaves you to your own devices.

Larry Koopa: This guy is sneaky! Make sure you are careful when he is around, or even when he's not.

Morton Koopa, Jr.: If you are going to be anywhere in the vicinity of him, I'd bring a pair of earplugs. This guy is long-winded!

Wendy O. Koopa: Just tell her she's beautiful, and no one will get hurt.

Iggy Koopa: He'd be quite a critter if he had some guts. Seeing Super Mario even once tore them out of him.

Roy Koopa: Get into a fight with him, and you'll probably be KO-ed speedy quick. He's got a temper, and he knows how to use it.

Lemmy Koopa: He may not be strong, but he's clever and witty. Don't trust him for a second, he has many tricks up his shell.

Ludwig von Koopa: The eldest of Bowser's children is a genius to the nth power. He may be slow, but he'll instantly solve any brain challenge.

Mario Mario: This troublemaker caused the mayhem in the game. Sure, he thinks he's helping the Princess, but he's not, and we all know that he secretly plans world domination. Guess it's not a secret, is it?

Luigi Mario: Mario's wimpy brother may be in this game, but I wouldn't really count on it. If you really want a game with Luigi on it, take the safe bet and buy Mario 2.

Princess Peach Toadstool: She may be a fair ruler, but that doesn't mean she's any good. Kidnap her to complete your quest!

Starting the Game

Place your game pack into the Nintendo 64 slot and turn the power on. After the title screen, you will be able to watch a cinema scene of the story. Finally, you will see all the Koopalings and Bowser fighting (just for fun, and to show off the exceptional graphics), and you will be able to press start to continue. If you do not press start, you will be able to watch a few short scenes of someone else playing.

On the main screen, you will be presented with several choices.

Adventure Game: Choose this to start or continue an adventure, using one of the four game save slots.

Mini-Games: Choose this to be presented with a list of games you can play. Some of them are for one player, some allow up to four players. Most of them are games that appear in the main adventure, and must be beaten there before they can be played at will.

Options: Choose here to meddle with some game settings, like sound port and color shading, and a bunch of other stuff that don't really matter anyway.

Choose Yer Character

When you start an adventure game, you will need to select a character to play as. The character you choose will be the one that you will play as for the entire quest, and each character has different strengths and weaknesses, so choose carefully.

Larry: If you choose him, you will have a decent jump and you'll be pretty quick, but your attack power isn't so good and your defense is lousy. Larry has strong magic power. His magic power is to see through walls. This can be useful for finding stuff, but his magic meter will slowly tick down to nothing, so only use it in suspicious locations.

Morton: Morton's attack is pretty snazzy and his defense is very good, but he won't be winning any jumping or running contests. His magic power is so-so. Morton's magic power is breathing fire, which is useful for defeating enemies and changing the landscape at time, but it drains his powers (speed, jump, etc.) for a while, and sometimes fire breath can be dangerous.

Wendy: Wendy's attack is excellent, and she can move (she also has good traction). However, her jump is sort of bad, and her defense isn't so good either. She also occasionally trips over herself. Her magic power is strong. She creates a powerful sonic wave by screaming, but this hurts her throat and slowly costs her life energy.

Iggy: His attack may be weak, but man, can this guy jump! Iggy also carries some decent speed, and his defense isn't too bad. His magic power is sort of pathetic though. His power is growing to gigantic size. This scares away some enemies and can help him get a better look at things. However, he can't move while enlarged, so if an enemy should choose to attack anyway, he's sort of in a fix.

Roy: If you're Roy, you are in good shape in a battle, because he has very high attack and defense power. But you're going to have a tough time exploring, because his speed, jump, and magic powers are lousy. His magical ability, if you can call it that, is healing himself. A very little bit.

Lemmy: Lemmy is so fast, he'll leave most everything far behind in his ball trail. His attack isn't shabby, and his magic power is so-so. But if he gets hit in battle, he's going down, and, frankly, his jump is sad. His magic power is freezing stuff in the immediate vicinity. This can help him escape danger, and he can help himself by using frozen things as platforms. But he can only use it every so often, the freeze wares off, and frozen enemies sustain less damage.

Ludwig: Nothing wrong with slow and steady! Ludwig isn't fast, and he can't jump high, and his attack isn't exactly impressive. But his defense power will keep him alive for a loong time, and his magic power is formidable to say the least. He can set off dynamite, which will cause a very powerful blast. The blast hurts him a little though.

There MAY also be a secret character, but I didn't say anything.

Moves

This game has a vast number of moves, but they won't be that difficult to learn if you just use them. Then again, maybe I shouldn't overestimate you.

Control Stick: Move. Push this a lot to run, or a little to tiptoe.

Start: Pause the game. I pray that you knew that.

A: Jump, or pretend to. Also talk, hopefully not to yourself.

A+A: Jump after touching down to jump again, higher this time.

A+A+A: Do three consecutive jumps to jump as high as you can. That might mean nothing.

B: Attack. Also grab and throw.

Z: Crouch.

Z+A: Somersault, or something like one.

Z+B: Kick.

R: Use magic.

C Buttons: Use these to turn the camera and go into and out of first person view.

D Pad: Not used in this game, but fun to play with nonetheless.

Hey, I hear you saying, "What? That's it? I thought there were lots of moves!" Well, there are, many more than are listed here. But to earn more fancy moves like Walk Kick, Skull Bash, and Dive, as well as many others, you'll have to find certain characters that will teach them to you. Some of these characters require favors in return, so don't overlook anything!

Items

You will find a number of items on your journey (or you may not, if you're a lousy player). They will be important if you have plans of reaching your goal. Study this list well and you'll know what to do when you see an item. Otherwise, just hit yourself with a brick until you figure things out.

Golden Key: These are the most important items in the game. Mario has locked himself away, and you will need to find seven out of ten of these in each course in order to get through all the doors.

Boss's Key: You'll get this when you defeat the boss of a world. You'll then be able to free a prisoner, should you so choose. Then you again, you might like to leave your family in the cell.

Course Key: If you manage to find one of these, you'll be able to open a locked door in a course. You can only use each Course Key once, but the door you used it on will become permanently unlocked.

Keyhole: Sometimes you will need to solve a puzzle in order to retrieve a Key. If this is the case, the puzzle will be marked by a large 3D Keyhole, which you must jump into to attempt the challenge. Complete it to pull out the Key. You can leave without retrieving the Key if you wish, and you can also complete these challenges more than once. Keyholes without a Key any longer in them will be horizontal instead of vertical.

Chest: If a Key can just be picked up, you will find it in a Chest. The Chest will open and the Key will fly out when you come within a certain a distance. The Chest will remain viewable but open thereafter.

Golden Spike: One of these is hidden in each world. It will raise your character's defense power.

Tums©: Find one of these in each course to raise your character's attack power. (Paid ad.)

Jumping Bean: These scary legumes will raise your character's jump power if you take the trouble to find them.

Hot Pepper: Find one of these to raise your character's speed.

Potion: Drink this to raise your character's magic power. (This game does not endorse drinking from unmarked containers.)

Dark Energy: Koopas can't use regular energy from Mushrooms like Mario can, but they can use evil or Dark Energy. You'll find some lying around sometimes, and defeated enemies will leave some. It will replenish your life meter, but it won't reappear in the course until you leave, so use it wisely.

Warp Pipe: Use these to get between the courses at the main area. Sometimes a course will have other pipes as well, but only the pipe you first emerge from will take you out of the course.

Checkpoint: There are some special points in each course. Pass through them to activate them. You will then be able to move through the checked Checkpoints at will, thus decreasing your travel time and helping you escape dangerous situations.

Transformation Box: Jump into a crate with the ? marks on it, and you'll come out as something different. Whatever it is, it will certainly be an improvement. Do what you want, then find another Transformation Box to change back.

Course Items: Some of the courses have items you will find only on that course. They will probably be useful to you if not necessary, so when in doubt, pick up items and see what you can do with them.

The Game Screen

The stuff that appears on the screen is so obvious, even a child could figure it out. But if you're older than a child, I dunno.

Power Meter: The bar in the upper-left-hand corner tells you how much life energy you have left, assuming you still actually have any. If this reaches 0, your game is over, and you can give up.

Oxygen Meter: When you are swimming, this will appear in the upper-right-hand corner. Koopas need to breathe ya know, so don't forget to come up for air before this turns all black. Unless you like to suffocate.

Results: Elsewhere on the borders you might notice displays of how many items you have found. Items include all kinds of Keys as well as special course items. Items that you have none of will not be displayed. While in a course, only items found in that course will be displayed. In the central area, all items found will be displayed.

Camera: The icon in the bottom-left-hand corner of the screen will tell you how the camera is currently position. Hopefully your cameraman hasn't given up.

Character Variables: Each character has a variable (explained later). This will show a 1 or a 2, depending on which you chose. It the number looks like anything else, get glasses.

Main Screen: You can see the action that takes place here. With any luck, you'll still be able to see it despite all the icons around the border.

Your Reflection: You may see this at times. Ignore it, it's not really part of the game.

The Pause Screen

Press Start and go here to calm your nerves from all the suspenseful action. Oh yeah, there is also some stuff you can do here.

Continue: If you think you have a chance to win, choose this option to return to the game.

Save: You can save the game at any time. The game will remember all the items you found, and you will restart in the central area when you restart the game. The game does not save automatically. Sometimes the game won't let you save, but you can still save at any time.

Map: Shows a quick sketch of the parts of the current world that you have explored.

Variables: Choose this option to alter something about your character, as listed below:

Larry: You can say yes to this option to have Larry turn invisible. While invisible, enemies won't chase him. But you'll have trouble seeing him too. Good.

Morton: Morton's presence can scare away all enemies if you opt for this option, but he won't be able to cause any damage to any that stay. He'll have no attack or magic power.

Wendy: Accept this option to take off Wendy's shoes and have her put them in her shell (don't ask how). Without her shoes she's faster and she won't randomly trip, but her attack will decrease.

Iggy: Iggy can trade off some of his jumping ability for some more defense. I'm not quite sure how he does it. Go ask your doctor.

Roy: Change Roy's pathetic magic power into a Mega Punch (still activated like magic). But Roy takes half the damage he gives this way.

Lemmy: Change from the default option, and Lemmy will jump without his ball. Usually he grabs it with his feet when he jumps. Without the ball he can jump higher but he's a lot slower. If you want the ball back, you'll need to return to where you left it.

Ludwig: Ludwig can lay less powerful dynamite in return for more speed and a better jump. He absorbs the firearm's energy.

Quit: Turn off the game and get back to your work.

How the Game Works

Since this game is so large, many idiots get confused about what they have to do. These people can't count the number of levels. In any case, here are some important questions and an answer, though I don't guarantee that it's the right answer.

How does the game progress?

You have to complete the training course, and then you must defeat the boss of Underground Mine, the first course. Then you will reach a central area and you'll be able to do the next ten courses in any order you like. Hunt down a course and find its warp pipe, labeled by a sign. Courses closer to the entrance tend to be easier, but it depends on the attributes of the Koopa you chose. Collect seven Golden Keys from each course and free your seven family members to reach the last two courses. You don't have to get all the Golden Keys at once; you can come back later if you wish.

I got all ten Golden Keys in a course. Can I get only four in another?

Didn't you read this manual?! You need to actually get seven Golden Keys in each course.

How do I free family members?

Bowser and your six siblings have been trapped in cages. The keys are guarded by the ten bosses. Defeat the bosses to get the Boss's Key. You need to free your entire family, so you must defeat at least seven of the bosses. Three other characters are also trapped, and you can feel free to release them if you can defeat more bosses. Personally, I wouldn't.

Where's the boss?

The boss could be anywhere. In one case, the hardest part of the battle is finding the boss. Boss battles may take place in a special chamber or just in the middle of the course somewhere.

How do I know if I'm fighting the boss?

If the enemy is big, and if the music gets loud and frantic, I'd say you have a good chance. But you never know. Your own character might suddenly become the boss. Yeah, promotions are weird like that.

I can't find where the prisoners are held! Where are they?

Gr… Take a look back in Bowser's Keep! Duh! Mario didn't actually do that good a job of kidnapping.

Who are the extra prisoners?

Why don't you just go to the Keep and find out?! Fine, they're Wart, Kamek, and Wario. Don't expect me to rescue them for you too!

What's the practice course?

On the Choose Yer Character Screen, along with choosing your Koopa, you can also choose to play an adventure or to practice. Use practice to test out each Koopa in a poorly designed but still eye-pleasing area.

How do I win the practice course?

Aw no, go away! Save me!

I found a Key, but it's not Golden, and I didn't beat a boss to get it. What the bleep is it?

Hm, I don't know! Maybe it's a Course Key! I don't know how you bungled your way into finding it, but if you can muster up a few brain cells, you might be able to figure out how to open a locked door in that course.

How do I beat this really scary enemy?

I dunno, care to elaborate on which enemy it is? Try everything! If a regular attack won't work, there's always stomping, magic, and running in circles. If none of your own moves work, try looking for something nearby that could help you.

No matter how long I attack this strange creature, it just stands there and talks to me. What gives?

Although the idea of your having any is frightening, this is one of the friends you'll encounter. Hopefully you are literate and can read what he has to say. Listen well, then act on it.

I can find any Golden Keys! What now?

Turn off the game and get some sleep already! Ok, use all your moves and look everywhere. Some Golden Keys require advanced moves. If you don't know the moves, bribe someone to teach you. Don't overlook anything. The programmers are too busy to put in stuff that doesn't matter.

How do I keep track of so many moves?

When in doubt, just guess. Or, you could write down all the advanced moves, but you probably don't own any paper, so just write on the furniture.

I can't make that jump! What to do?

You're just lucky you have me around. Either look for another route, jump better, or find some item that will improve your jump, or your head.

How do I solve the puzzle?

Try harder! Reading the directions and looking for clues might help.

Hey, in Underground Mine, instead of finding dynamite, can I just use Ludwig's magic power?

Now you're thinking! That's a first. That plan will work just fine, and there are numerous other tricks like that as well.

Wow, cool! Can I use Ludwig's dynamite again in The Big Blast?

Maybe… not. Sure, why don't you go ahead and see what happens? I guess I can't expect two good ideas in one day.

How do I defeat Luigi?

Breathe on him. Throw your game in the trash if you can't beat him.

How do I defeat Mario?

Geesh, do you want me to spoil everything?! Figure it out yourself, or read on into the boss section.

I beat the game. Now what?

Really? How'd ya do it? Well, play again! There are seven different characters, you know. Plus, I make great games!

No more questions? Good!

The Courses

Sorry to say, this game actually has some courses. If it were up to me, I'd just have you fight Mario so you can get this game over with. A 3D fight with Mario's worth 60 bucks, right? Anyway, here are the courses you'll have to suffer through.

Bowser's Keep: You start your game here, in your room. You can play around for a while, but within an hour hopefully you'll have left your room and entered the main hallway. The other Koopalings' doors are locked and you can't get in, not even after you find all the Keys. You'll have to play as each Koopa to see inside all the rooms. Find Bowser in the lounge, and maybe watch some TV for a while. Speak to him and he'll grumpily give you your assignment to kidnap the Princess. If you want to get yelled at, go break some stuff in the room. Then leave. Not even your hard head will be able to break down the front door of the Keep, so try the back door instead.

Maze of Mist: The back door lets out into this foggy training course. There are lots of Magikoopas in here, and each one will teach you a move. You may even learn an advanced move or two, but let's not get our hopes up about that one. If you learn well you'll complete all the tasks involved in training and meet up with Kamek. He will give you something you forgot back at the Keep, your Magic Wand. Funny, how can you forget it if it's not there? Anyway, take it and go back to the Keep. Bowser may have changed channels. I know, he had to move to push the remote button! When you approach the front doors you'll wave your Wand and they'll open without a hitch. Sorry, you can't wave your Wand at any other time. Well, are you going to go through, or are you just going to stand there gawking and with your mouth hanging open?

Underground Mine: After a short cinema scene that shows your character leaving the Keep and entering the Mine, you will be in this dreary place. Just the way Koopas like it! There are ten Golden Keys here, but for some odd reason you won't be able to pick them up until you find and defeat the boss, since you won't know what they have any importance until then. This course doesn't require much physical ability, but it is formed into an intricate maze, so explore carefully. If you find some dynamite you'll be able to destroy some walls. The dynamite room never runs out of supplies, but you can't carry many sticks at a time, so use them sparingly to avoid an annoying hike back to find more. At the end of this course, or whatever you feel like calling it, you'll find a warp pipe, but you'll need the Course Key dropped by the boss to get to it.

Central Area: The warp pipe in the last world takes you here. You'll find a way to access all the other courses from here, as long as you don't just stand in the corner. Some easy baddies are here, but you- er, well I had no problems with them. Scout out all the courses, but don't look for any Keys because I'll be amazed if you find any here.

The Big Blast: Basically, you go from a course with one small dynamite room to an entire dynamite warehouse. Don't set anything off! This course is still relatively easy, but there are several tricks you'll need to learn, such as that your character will jump if you press A. This course is huge and the Golden Keys are well spread out. I dunno, maybe a previous blast separated them. A friend will teach you a new move if you bring him some matches. Don't worry, he won't actually use them.

Spooky Crypt: Nothing to it but to do it! This course is a graveyard, and oh yeah, you get to enter and explore a lot of the graves. You'll need to because the Golden Keys are down there. This is the first course that makes extensive use of Course Keys, so the locked doors will probably annoy you too. Don't get spooky by the cheerful music and the ghoulish enemies. Remember, Koopas don't mind ghosts, so you shouldn't either. But then again, there's still that monster under your bed.

Boilin': Ya can't get much hotter than the average temperature in this course. Fortunately your heavy scales will protect you, and the programmers didn't care that Koopas are cold blooded. There is a lot of lava around that will hurt you, but not as much as it does Mario. As long as you keep your Power Meter happy, you should be able to make a quick excursion across it at times to find some useful items. If you are low on energy, you'd better find some because you won't get far without crossing over.

En Route - Subcon: You won't find a warp pipe to this course, but that's ok because you'll be put asleep and dragged in when you pass a certain area. This is the only course you can't exit at will, not even if you turn the game off. To get out, you will need to find enough noisemakers to set off an alarm. But in the process of doing so you should also catch some Z's and find a few Keys. Some stuff in this world will look familiar if you played Mario 2.

Chillin': This course is meant to follow Boilin', and it would have if you hadn't been dragged into Subcon. Anyway, how often to programmers pull that hot-to-cold stunt? This course is completely frozen, as are all solids. The ice water works similarly to the lava, only it causes damage faster. It's very slippery, but the claws on your feet will help you. Some of the items here are hidden in the darndest places, like under the snow or up the snowman's carrot nose. Ick, someone get him a tissue!

Unknown Place: Everything is messed up in this course, and nothing is easily determined. Even the sign that's supposed to have the course's name on it is illegible. All the angles are screwed up, and you can't really trust size or distance. A lovely place, really, and you should have a dandy time trekking through here solving puzzles and revealing Keys. But even when the Keys appear, you may have trouble figuring out how to get there. You may have been doing it all along anyway, but you'd practically be better off with your eyes closed.

Stuck in the Muck: It's clear that this place stinks. Most of the course is mud, which will mess up your speed and your jump, but if you slog around for a while you may chance to find some water to swim in or some land to beach yourself on. As if this course isn't disgusting enough as it is, you'll have to go into even muddier underlayers through hidden doors that only open if you've found muddy Keys. This is certainly not the course for someone who cares about stench or personal appearance. But you have some family members to rescue! Though I don't know why, Struggle through this course.

High in the Sky: I hope you're not afraid of heights, but there's nothing but that in this course. You start way up there and you'll climb up towers and clouds to giddy heights before you're done. Take a balloon ride and check out the rainbow, but do be careful not to fall. Golden Keys may be able to float, but you can't, and you probably won't get this far into the game without sinking.

A Watery Grave: Speaking of sinking! This is not an underwater remake of course three, but there will be a lot of underwater challenges, and I suppose it will be scary if you're not good at swimming. Find sunken treasure, and be sure to explore all the ghost ships. Hey, I never said there wouldn't be ghosts! Even if the living sea-life is less than friendly. You may end up with a fake eye, but you need to get through here if you don't want to disappoint Bowser.

Grassy Wasteland: Oh no! Is there anything as scary as an open grass field to a Koopa? That was a rhetorical question. No, there isn't. Sometimes the soft soil will give way, and you'll end up in mysterious chambers that you'll have to find your way out of. In addition to solving a garden variety of puzzles and weeding out some problems, you'll also encounter some really tough enemies. Oh yeah, there are lots of enemies in all of these courses. We couldn't forget that. Especially because they've certainly killed you by now.

Castle Moat: This is the last of the ten courses the order of which you have control over. The moat around "Peach's" Castle is quite a bit wider and deeper than you may remember it, because the programmers had to find room for ten Golden Keys and a bunch of other items, and it wouldn't be too hard to find them in Mario 64's moat. The water theme is the only one that appears dominantly in more than one course. Oh well. Outsmart Mario's traps and stop some waterfalls. And find some Keys. Hopefully you know that drill by now. The end of this course will lead to the first of the remaining two courses, but only if you've found seven Golden Keys in each course and rescued all your family members. If you haven't, go back and fix it ya nimrod!

"Peach's" Castle: When you cross the bridge over the Castle Moat you will be able to start using the Golden Keys you found. But, it turns out that you need the help of your family members… funny quirk, I guess. The Keys are so heavy that you need to turn them together in order to open the locks. How you got through the whole game without being able to turn a Golden Key yourself is beyond me, but! Inside the Castle, there aren't any Golden Keys, unless those infamous programmers made some errors. There are still Course Keys though, and you'll need them to make your way through this treacherous area. Somewhere in there are five generators, and you'll have to deal with each one of them (five) if you want to defeat the boss, who happens to block the way to the final course. You could just stop now, but then you'd never see the cruddy ending.

The Long Hallway: Yes, this is a course! There are many doors on both sides of the hallway, only most of them are locked. These doors tend to open to tough puzzles and challenges that you'll need to get through to get Course Keys and a new item, Puzzle Pieces. You need to get all the Puzzle Pieces, and then you can go to the end of the hallway and put together a puzzle of a huge Keyhole, which you'll then magically be able to jump through. In the cartoons that never works, but it works here. Get through this course and go through the Keyhole, and the final boss (Mario… you probably forgot) will be just ahead.

Enemies

There are so many enemies in this game that I just don't have time to talk about all of them, because I need to go to bed soon. You could just play and find all of them yourself, but I'll give you some piece of mind and break the enemies down into four categories for you. Not all of the enemies fit nicely into these categories, but hey, you can't be too picky these days.

Vegetables: These are the easiest enemies in the game, and they are the most abundant, especially in the earlier courses. Some vegetables include Carrot Creatures, which chase you in Underground Mine and can be easily defeated, Kelp, which are slow-moving and weak but invincible because you can't attack while swimming, and Bean Stalks, which are immobile but powerful nonetheless.

Traitors: Sometimes you'll see potentially familiar ex-members of the Koopa Klan. A few of them will probably appear in every course, and they are not terribly strong. Although, a lot of the bosses are traitors.

Mario's Allies: Mario doesn't have that many friends from his games (because he's not very likeable), but those that he has will help him out. A lot of them stay behind the scenes, but the ones that fight, such as the Mushroom Guards and the Nimbuses, start to get really annoying.

Fungi: These disgusting Mushroom-related creatures are the ones that are really going to nail you. Many of them are really strong, and a good number of them like to absorb your energy. Fungi include Puffballs, which shoot spores in all directions and can not be killed, and my personal least favorite, the Sliming Fungi. These nasty creatures can change their attributes and become any enemy in the game. And whenever they transform, they get all their power back. Plus, they smell!

Bosses

I know I mentioned them a long time ago, and you've certainly forgotten about them because you were completely dazzled by the rest of the game and that brick in regards to the items. There are some bosses though, and if you come closer I'll tell you some secrets. On second thought, I'd rather you stayed away. Far away.

Yoshi, the boss of Underground Mine: Yoshi is not too pleased that you've spoiled his operation, even though he really spoiled it himself by talking to himself about what Mario did after you left the Keep just a few minutes (or hours for you) ago. He's here to fight you, but he has a hindrance. There is a gas in the mine that, though safe for you, is poisonous for Yoshi. He must therefore wear a gas mask, and can't eat anything, like you. Avoid his kicks and ground pounds for one minute; then he'll have to leave for an air refill. Hit his air tank and he'll leave sooner. He will throw a smoke bomb at you to prevent you from following. He'll also drop a much-needed Course Key.

Albatoss, the boss of The Big Blast: This traitor to the Koopa Klan returns from Mario 2, when he helped Mario across an otherwise impassible gap. You have 90 seconds to take him down before he drops a Bob-omb that will destroy the whole course (and kill you). Hit him with a barrage of attacks wile he is on the ground, then do what you can while he's flying. If he drops the bomb, you can always try to befriend it, but it will never work.

Boo, the boss of Spooky Crypt: Boo was one of Bowser's most loyal and dangerous servants until Mario Party, when he struck out for his own greedy purposes. Mario bought his services here by paying him 300 coins; he had to play at least fifty times to win that many. Boo has countered his shyness by being transparent during the entire battle, but his trick is that he always hurts you on any contact. When the fight begins, steer clear of the huge but slow Boo and scout around for a target. Destroy the target to paralyze Boo for a short time, then attack him. Boo will split into two smaller but quicker ghosts, so find another target, then hit the ghost that's not laughing. Repeat this one more time with three ghosts floating around to send Boo to the afterlife again.

Big Bully, the boss of Boilin': Bowser kicked him out of the Koopa Klan after he gave up three Stars in Mario 64. Unluckily for you, he's learned a few tricks over the years… or maybe he's just gained weight. Avoid his bumps while running around him. When he stops to regain his balance, pummel him with whatever you've got. He'll keep getting faster, but if you keep it up you'll eventually score a knock-out, unless he does first.

Magikoopa, the boss of En Route - Subcon: After you wake up you'll be back in the central area, only there will be a warp pipe where there wasn't one before. You can now enter the course at will, and if you do so you'll find this boss near the entrance. Magikoopa betrayed the Koopa Klan in Mario World when he helped Mario get through Lemmy's castle. He will attack by shooting powerful rings from his Wand. Dodge them or jump through the center. Destroy his Wand with physical attacks only. Magikoopa will start to use more powerful inner magic. He will become huge and turn objects around him against you. Attack him with magic if you can, and if you manage to stay alive he'll eventually run out of smoke. This battle is tough, but hey, you only have to beat seven bosses anyway.

Mother Penguin, the boss of Chillin': This huge ice-dweller is forever indebted to Mario because he saved her son in Mario 64. If you ever tried to repossess the kid, you know how ferocious she can be. Avoid her pecks and ground pounds, then take (or avoid) great pains to dodge her body slams. If you escape her slam you'll be able to run around behind her and kick her there. After you kick her three times she'll call in her now-grown son to help. Dodge and kick both loud squawkers to freeze their attempts.

Koopa T. Quick, the boss of Unknown Place: This speed demon turned soft in Super Mario Kart, then gave Mario two Stars in Mario 64 as retaliation for not being allowed to race in the sequel. He is responsible for this course's oddities; he caused a solid whirlpool by running too fast. He'll challenge you to a race (not a fight!), but fortunately hie is exhausted from his prior exercise. Beat him in a race to shame him and receive his Key. You shouldn't find trouble with his speed, but the race is in a maze and you might get lost. But then, perhaps you've seen this maze before. The other problem is actually finding KTQ.

Muddy Buddy, the boss of Stuck in the Muck: This cheater helped Mario and Yoshi across spikes in Yoshi's Island. He will appear suddenly from out of the mud. He isn't that strong, but he is faster than you are because he is not slowed down by the mud. You may also fall into the mud and lose more ground if he hits you with one of the sludge balls he throws. If he catches up to you, he'll suck your energy. Move as fast as you can (jumping will help) and lure him to his demise by stepping to the other side of a water puddle. I he hits the water he will dissolve a bit, cover up the puddle, and become faster. Dissolve him into oblivion and snatch the Boss's Key.

Lakitu, the boss of High in the Sky: He was majorly in with Bowser until Super Mario Kart, when he decided to race to a different goal. He will attack from up high by throwing Spinies. When he gets weak he fires fast and powerful lightning bolts that make your character lose control. You will need to dive into him a bunch of times to defeat him. Unless you can jump up to his level, you will need to at least partially climb a conveniently placed tower to reach him, and you'll have to do it many times. Knock the wind out of him and take his Key.

Waluigi, the boss of A Watery Grave: Waluigi's not exactly buddy-buddy with Mario. In fact, his motive here is questionable. In any case, he's in charge here, and you'll have to defeat him if you want to free another prisoner. Now why would you want to do that? This battle is an all-out slugfest. You could call it wrestling with no rules. Waluigi somehow dodges all magic attacks, so you're just going to have to dodge or counter what he throws at you, then give him your best. Show no mercy and you may eventually earn a Key.

Chandeli-Ho, the boss of Grassy Wasteland: He held Mario up at the start of Mario RPG, because for some reason he felt Mario had let him down. He produced much of the course by dropping seeds as he swings. He will do the same thing here, but you can ignore the enemies he creates. Just use a timed jump to get onto the chandelier, then attack the part that looks like a Shy Guy. If he knocks you off, jump back on. Repeat this and he'll fall to pieces. For a course so far into the game (theoretically), this fight is surprisingly easy.

Yoshi, the boss of Castle Moat: This battle is tough- experts only! Yoshi is strong, and the battle takes place on the small bridge in front of the castle's doors. He'll use his tongue this time. Avoid it at all costs! If he eats you, he'll absorb a lot of power, and he'll create a replica of you to help him. Other than that, he also has fast and powerful body slams, and he throws eggs. Woah! Be quick about it and grab his tail. Try to throw him off the bridge. It will be tough because Yoshi is heavy, so you'll need to get a lot of momentum going. If Yoshi sinks, you win. If not, it's your bad luck, and you'll have to try again. Defeat him and get the Boss's Key you should have one hours of playing ago.

Toad, the boss of "Peach's" Castle: You won't be able to touch the Mushroom Retainer until you destroy all five generators. Once you do, you'll a least have a fighting chance. First, destroy the Toads that form from the spores he drops in any way you can. Then go for his cap. The cap will stick to you and suck energy if you touch it (and Toad will be chasing you), so attack it with magic or throw stuff at it, whatever you can find. When the cap is gone, Toad will run around frantically. Chase him down and attack to cut him down to size and lift the last force field surrounding the door behind him.

Luigi, Mario's brother in The Long Hallway: What a wimp! He thinks he's clever, but we know better. When you enter the chamber where the fight takes place, he will make a grand entrance by crashing through a door (there afterwards blocked by a Key door that slides down) and sending it hurtling at you. Avoid the door by not entering the room at the center. Luigi will speed around the room in erratic patterns, hoping to run you down. You can't catch him, so make your way into a corner (no you don't have to face it, unless you lose this fight). When he chances to come near, attack. Continue this, and Super Luigi (since when is he super?) will become regular old bad Luigi. He'll drop the last Course Key and fall through the grating floor. Take the Key and move on!

Mario, the man with the plan but no brain: When you enter the throne room, you'll see the Princess sitting pretty on her throne. Step in her eyes' sight to hear her scream. When you approach, the throne will spin around to reveal Super Mario, who will punch you. The screen will go blank, then you and Mario will reappear in a large circular grated room. Mario will try to punch you, but you can't touch him yet. Find and destroy a target to cut off Mario's shield, then pummel him as much as you can before the shield returns. Just repeat this, but watch out for Mario's power-ups. As you weaken him, he'll transform to Cape Mario, then Cape-Fire Mario, then Cape-Fire-Hammer Mario. Eventually he'll start to use Stars and, even when his shield is down, you won't be able to hurt him while he's flickering. He's fast, strong, and lucky, but if you hang around long enough he'll don one last suit and cause his own demise. He'll put on the Frog Suit and be all but immobile. Cream him now with no more shield interference and he will revert to regular lousy Mario, drop a huge Key, and fall through the floor.

After Mario

What was Mario thinking?! After losing to you, he'll set off a huge time bomb, completely disregarding the fact that he'll kill himself, Luigi, and Peach, and destroy a beautiful piece of architecture. Skidaddle out of the castle (you'd better have improved your character's abilities), but don't forget to enter the door with the huge Keyhole and kidnap (grab) the Princess. Why you can turn this Key even though it's larger than the Golden Keys, and where you are carrying it, are questions best left unasked. Get out of the castle with Peach before time runs out to foil Mario's efforts. If you don't get out, you die. If you get out without Peach, you'll receive a worse ending, and it won't contribute to earning the secret character, which you earn by beating the game with all seven Koopalings. It's Susan, and she can pick and choose from all of the Koopalings' attributes.

"What's in the ending?" you ask. I think I've told you enough. Make Nintendo produce this game, and I'll give you both endings. For that matter, I'll give you as many endings as you like. Otherwise, this is all… until the sequel!


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